Most newborns wake often - as much as every two hours in the first month or so of life - but they soon sleep for longer stretches, saving their longest for night.
In the early months, sleeping through the night for babies is considered to be on average only six straight hours. By the end of the first year, most babies will sleep 10 to 12 hours at night.
It is important to remember however, that each baby is unique. Sleep needs differ from child to child and there will be a large variance in what is considered normal.
Babies also change their sleep needs as they grow. However, when your baby's crying goes on and on it can leave you feeling emotionally drained and physically exhausted.
Statistics have shown that 90 percent of parents suffer from periods of disturbed sleep and can have up to 21 nights of interrupted sleep each month.
It does, however, get easier eventually. It is important to comprehend that many sleep problems are caused by allowing your baby to get into bad habits as well as poor management.
There are ways to guide your baby towards a healthy sleep routine and maximize your sleeping time. Prevention and preparation are the key elements.
Parents and sleep deprivation
Nap when the baby naps. You can attend to a lot of the household tasks when the baby's awake or when your partner can take him.
Your baby's nap time is precious time for you, too. Use this time to rest or do something that dosen't require heavy exertion, but rather is relatively soothing and relaxing.
Make yourself as comfortable as possible during night-time feedings. For instance, if you must get up to feed your baby, make sure you have a glass of water or other drink and a blanket nearby.
Take care of yourself physically. Ensure that you eat a well-balanced diet and try to do some form of exercise every day. If you don't get enough sleep, your body is much more prone to stress and illness.
Ask for help when necessary: a family member or friend can watch your baby while you rest during the day, or if possible, hire a sitter.
Regulating sleep
You can start by regulating your baby's sleep patterns and teaching him good sleep habits early on. Here are some suggestions:
Separate sleep from being merely sleepy. During infancy, your baby may move quickly between states of sleepiness and alertness.
Take your baby's cues and use them. If baby falls asleep while eating or being carried, lay him down in a designated sleeping place, such as a crib or stroller.
If he is awake, encourage that wakefulness, and socialize with him. By distinguishing between sleeping and wakeful periods, you'll help him associate sleep with a proper sleeping place.
Treat night-time meals differently than daytime ones. Since your newborn needs to eat regularly throughout the day and night, he will wake up several times during your sleeping hours.
In order to keep night-time feedings functional and less disruptive, it is necessary to keep them quiet and daytime ones social.
Consequently, when your baby wakes for a feed in the middle of the night, go to him immediately and feed before he really has a chance to wake up.
Don't talk too much or turn on the light, but maintain a still, sleepy atmosphere so that your baby understands it isn't playtime.
During the day, do the opposite. That is, treat mealtimes as opportunities to really interact with your baby.
A good idea to help regulate your young baby's sleeping is to give your child a "transitional" object, such as a blanket or stuffed animal.
This serves as a security object that can help soothe your baby.
In order to enhance the security element of this object, keep it near you for a while so it becomes "mom-scented".
Babies have a strong sense of smell and when they suddenly awake, which they do often during the night, the smell of their mothers nearby can be very reassuring and help them go back to sleep.
Sucking or rocking helps babies settle into sleep, but this may lead into a need that involves you breast feeding, replacing a dummy or rocking your child for a lengthy time each night.
Thus it is wiser to avoid a settling routine that always involves your presence.
In this regard it is also wise to involve fathers in sleep preparation by encouraging them to alternate with the mother in doing the bedtime rituals.
In this way, baby does not always expect to be breast-fed to sleep.
Encourage an older baby to fall asleep on his own. At first, your baby will undoubtedly fall asleep in your arms while feeding or being rocked or walked.
Eventually however, you want your baby to get used to the idea of going to sleep on his own. Introduce the notion gradually.
When your baby is drowsy, but not yet asleep, lay him down. By putting him down when he is awake, but still feeling loved and cozy, he may associate falling asleep with such feelings.
This may be easier said than done, but do continue to try to put your baby down sleepy, but awake. Also, give your baby time to settle themselves, do not rush in immediately, they sometimes make little noises whilst settling into sleep.
Once your infant can put himself to sleep you will need to begin to wean away the various incentives that stand between you and a good night's sleep.
Many parents have assumed that adding cereal to the last feed will answer their problems, or that giving the older child milk or juice when they wake during the night will help.
However, feeding heavily late at night gives most of us indigestion and infants are generally no different in this regard.
Likewise, always offering water or a pacifier in the middle of the night only teaches your baby to rely on you for those things, resulting in the same need for attention that feeding causes.
The first couple of nights will be difficult with your baby waking and crying for you to do what you have always done like feed, change or rock. You need to be prepared for this.
It is suggested that you wait a few minutes when your child first awakens and then if crying persists, go to the crib and gently touch his body to both assure him of your presence and to determine if he has a fever.
Assuming he is not hot, you will need to make your visit as brief and unstimulating as possible. Don't pick your baby up and cuddle, don't offer too many words.
What does it mean to let a baby "cry it out"?
For decades, parents have been told that the best way to train a baby who no longer needs night-time feedings to sleep through the night is to let him "cry it out."
In other words, put the baby in his crib, shut the door, and let him bawl.
Although there are variations on this technique, (one of which has been described above) the general principle is the same.
After about a week of unheeded crying, a baby will learn to fall asleep on his own as it has learned that investing all that energy in crying so hard is not rewarded.
But this technique should not be used with children under six months of age.
It is also recommended that parents not leave their baby completely, but that they periodically comfort him without picking him up or switching on the lights and also check that he is comfortable and safely tucked in.
Should we try "crying it out" with our baby?
Among new parents, this question is a controversial one. Some parents find this a rather heartless approach and for some it is not practical.
You are facing a dilemma that nearly every parent faces at some point. The available literature on this subject reflects the fact that there are two very opposing opinions.
Many parents have been through this challenging time, and some will say that crying it out is the only way.
Others will say that a much better option is to give your baby the comfort of being with you during the late hours of the morning.
Dr William Sears (co-author of The Baby Book) is an advocate of "sleep sharing".
Dr Sears states: "The result of crying it out is usually the same: a strung-out mother and an angry baby, who will eventually exhaust himself to sleep, but at what price?"
Rather consider sharing your bed with your baby for the first few months or more of his life.
According to Sears, mother and baby sleep better and longer side-by-side, baby gets warmth, nurturing and a readily available breast if he is nursing and babies thrive when they sleep near their parents.
Dr R Ferber (author of Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems) is an advocate of an effective crying it out method.
Ferber advises letting your baby cry for five minutes, then going into the room for a couple of minutes to reassure baby, but this does not include picking him up.
This process is repeated using an interval of 10 minutes, then 15. Brief visits are made every 15 minutes until your baby falls asleep.
The following day involves slightly longer stretches and so forth. What is very important is being able to distinguish between a distressed cry and a demand cry.
It is vital, however, that before you begin any kind of program incorporating "crying it out techniques", you ensure that both partners are in complete agreement.
Also keep in mind that babies nine months and older may be experiencing separation anxiety, thus requiring all the comfort they need during this phase.
Also perhaps check with your doctor to rule out a physical cause.
Rethinking infant sleep
Many psychologists as well as parents assume that the traditional practice of infant solitary sleep promotes infantile physiological and social autonomy.
Recent studies challenge these assumptions and offer many reasons for entertaining the potential benefits of infants sleeping near their parents.
These advocates of the "co-sleep" approaches have begun to research the issue and pose interesting questions.
For instance, they remind us that from the infant's biology and evolutionary history, proximity to parental sounds, smells, gases, heat, and movement during the night is precisely what the human infant's developing system "expects," since these stimuli were reliably present in utero.
Given the human infant's evolutionary past, where even brief separations from the parent could mean certain death, they encourage us to think about why our infants may protest against sleep isolation.
They suggest that they may be acting adaptively, rather than pathologically. Perhaps these infant "signalers" have unique and specific needs and require parental contact more than do some other infants, who do not protest.
Furthermore, research into sleep, breathing, and arousal patterns of co-sleeping mothers and infants is being addressed with the focus on how infant-parent co-sleeping may change the physiological status of the infant in ways that, theoretically, could help some (but not all) SIDS-prone infants resist a SIDS event.
As is evident, more sound research is necessary, but the issues addressed certainly provide food for thought.
In conclusion, bear in mind that eventually your baby will learn to fall asleep on his own.
Remember however, that there is no single approach which works for every baby. Ultimately only you can decide what is best for your own baby. - Staff doctor