By Natasha Courtenay-Smith
London - What must the expectant mothers in the hospital waiting room have thought as Lisa Moore emerged from her ultrasound scan in tears? Surely there was something wrong with the child she was carrying?
From Lisa's point of view, at least, there was indeed something wrong.
But rather than having been told that her unborn baby had a life-threatening congenital abnormality or some other defect, she had, in fact, been informed that she was having twin boys.
"I never saw myself with boys and I was devastated," says Lisa, 29, who at the time already had two sons. "The problem was that, since I was a little girl, I'd longed for a daughter."
There will be many who will find it hard to understand how any woman blessed with a healthy baby could grumble about its sex, let alone feel the level of despair that Lisa did, especially since there are some women who can't have children at all.
But Lisa was far from alone in feeling unhappy with the sex of her children. Indeed, so common are such feelings of disappointment that it's now a recognised psychological condition, known as Gender Disappointment.
The Internet is home to hundreds of forums on the subject, where women gather to share their experiences and heartache.
They post their messages anonymously.
"I cried in bed for two days," writes one woman, a mother of two boys, upon discovering that her third child was also a boy.
Another mother of three boys writes: "I honestly don't think I'll ever get over not having a girl. I think about it every day, and the disappointment never goes away. I will carry this agony with me for the rest of my life."
A mother of four boys adds: "I was such a wreck, a friend suggested I get psychiatric help. I always thought I would have a daughter and I can still see her face so clearly in my mind."
Last week it emerged that a London doctor committed suicide after IVF treatment failed. It is believed that the woman, who has a daughter, was desperate to provide her husband with a son.
The founder of parenting website netmums.com, Siobhan Freegard, says this issue is an ongoing topic of conversation on her website.
"The very nature of saying you are disappointed in your child goes against everything we believe motherhood to be about. Most women who feel this way also feel huge amounts of guilt and shame because they think they are letting their baby down."
Many websites are devoted to what parents can try to do to maximise their chances of conceiving the gender they want.
Low-tech methods range from creating specific ovulation charts, taking herbal supplements and certain vitamins, to eating diets rich in potassium and sodium for a boy, or calcium and magnesium for a girl.
Theories abound about the sex selection effects of diet, but there is little hard evidence to prove that they work. The only way to ensure the sex of a baby is pre- implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), which involves creating embryos via traditional IVF and then implanting only embryos of a certain sex.
Currently, UK law only allows sex selection for medical reasons, such as the avoidance of inherited diseases, but a number of desperate British women are known to have travelled abroad for the treatment.
Lisa's longing for a little girl led to her drawing up complicated ovulation charts that told her when the optimal time was to have intercourse if she wanted a girl.
After splitting up with the father of her sons, Lisa met her current partner and decided this time she would not leave the sex of her baby to chance.
"The theory was that having sex on the day the woman ovulates would produce a boy, because the faster swimming sperm (more likely to be Y chromosome 'male' sperm) would reach the egg first.
"However, for a girl, sex should take place before ovulation. The Y sperm wouldn't last as long and would die off. But the X chromosome-bearing female sperm would still be waiting to fertilise the egg."
The idea that timing could influence the sex of the baby was first proposed more than 20 years ago by American doctor Landrum Shettles.
Numerous medical articles say that it is flawed and subsequent stories have not been able to replicate the results Shettles claimed he got.
Nonetheless, Lisa fell pregnant with twins on her first attempt. They were born at 35 weeks and to her surprise, while she did have one boy the other twin was a girl.
Lisa's twins are now three years old. She maintains that she does not love her daughter any more than her sons, but that having a daughter has completed their family.
Andrew Whittle and his wife, Michaela, who after having six daughters, finally had a much longed-for son.
When Michaela, whose daughters Amy and Georgie are now 23 and 14, fell pregnant with Amelia, now 11, her husband's hopes that he could one day have a son were reignited. She agreed to try for a baby one more time, and this time Jessie, now eight, was born. Daughters Casey, seven, and Bridie, five, followed.
"It wasn't so much that I was desperate to have a son, but each time I gave birth to another girl, I felt guilty for not giving Andrew a son and so tried again," she says.
Three years ago, Michaela and Andrew decided to try for what they agreed would be their final baby.
She recalls: "I had given up hope of having a boy. But at the scan, the nurse, on hearing we had six girls, said: 'Do you want to know what this one is?' and Andrew replied: 'Yes.'
"Then I heard her saying: 'It's a boy.' We both had tears in our eyes. Throughout the pregnancy we still couldn't believe it until we held him."
Michaela says without doubt his arrival has completed their family. - Daily Mail