Specifications:
Model:
BMW 730d SE.
Price:
£49 650 (about R578 000).
Engine:
2990cc, six cylinders, 24 valves, turbodiesel, 172kW at 4000rpm, 520Nm from 2000-2750rpm
Transmission:
Six-speed auto with manual sequential, rear-wheel drive.
Performance:
Top speed 238km/h, 0-100km/h 7.6sec, 8.2 litres/100km official average
They all look a little strange, these latest BMWs, close enough that you're never quite sure whether the car in your rear-view mirror is a 3, 5 or 7 Series. Get the image in context, though, and you can see that with ascending size go both ascending age and ascending strangeness.
The current-generation 7 Series, born in 2001, was so odd critics thought BMW had succumbed to corporate insanity. Design director Chris Bangle was vilified for ruining the BMW theme of discreet, neat, acceptable assertiveness.
The 7 Series was pilloried for its conflict of lines and the way the boot-lid seemed to be perched on top of the tail as though borrowed from another car.
And then there was iDrive. Not only iDrive, but an electric parking brake and an automatic transmission selector mounted on the steering column that always sprang back to the middle position so that you never had a tactile memory of where you were.
I remember receiving a 10-minute lecture on the advantages of iDrive (one big knob to control all sorts of things via menus, a screen and multiple turns, presses and prods), just before setting off on my first 7 Series drive.
After that, could I get the BMW to go? I could not. Every subliminal thing that I'd learnt in nearly three decades of driving had to be forgotten, my mind wiped to Year Zero.
How would a set-in-his-ways company big shot cope with this? Would a computer-savvy teenager become the most popular 7 Series optional extra?
Eventually the shock was diluted by the arrival of more Bangle-influenced BMWs; one day I saw a black 7 Series and was struck by how menacingly cool it looked. Brooding, frowning face, slashed lines and knife-cut edges, nothing soft or apologetic at all.
It was still the strangest of the new breed but also the most dramatic and pure. The 2001 version was a revelation belatedly appreciated, compared with the retro-fixation of big Jaguars, the visual politeness of Audis and Mercedes-Benzes, and the utter blandness of the previous-generation 7.
But BMW realised that it had overstepped the mark. The 7 Series was still too daring for its intended clientele, so BMW regroomed it for polite society.
Revised engines
You see the result here: same basic shape, but smoother and rounder at the front, tidier at the tail, still dramatic but no longer unsettling. It's a more credible look that still has a big presence.
The new look comes with revised engines; most of the petrol ones have efficiency-enhancing Valvetronic valve control that uses variable valve lift in place of energy-sapping throttles but the range-topping, 330kW V12 is unchanged.
The diesel 730d tested here will be the most popular, however. This three-litre, straight-six engine delivers 172kW and an epic 520Nm of torque, all with an official fuel consumption of 8.2 litres/100km.
It has a light aluminium engine block and piezo-electric injectors; the crystals' tiny but instant and ultra-accurate movements offer tightly controlled fuelling.
The iDrive has a leather insert in its giant control knob and BMW claims it's easier to use. And if you pay an extra £2450 (R28 500) for the rear entertainment package - you get two - back-seat drivers can have the time of their lives hijacking all sorts of functions.
Kids knew more than me
Family Simister has just returned from a thorough test to the South of France and back in just such a 730d, with two iDrives and two teenage girls in the spacious rear cabin to act as an adult/iDrive interface.
It was marvellous. They got the navigation to work with just a wiggle and a prod, they knew more about the 730d's range, fuel consumption and functions than I did.
They loaded CDs and DVDs into all kinds of slots (DVDs in the boot, CDs in the fascia), plugged in their headphones and watched movies on their own screen between the front seats.
The 730d felt huge at first, even though it was the regular-length and not the long-wheelbase model, but with quick, accurate steering and quite taut suspension, it soon seemed to shrink.
Manoeuvring in tight spaces soon made it grow again but the world's best parking-sensor system proved a godsend. It works front and rear and the beeps accompany an aerial view of the 730d on the main screen that shows obstacle in colours according to proximity.
A flood of red follows anyone walking around the car.
Precise handling
Its taut ride is never uncomfortable but it's a key difference between the 730d and the Jaguar XJ6 TDVi I recently tested. Another is the sound of the engine; the Jaguar is almost unbelievably quiet and hard to identify by ear as a diesel but the BMW can be quite vocal.
But it doesn't sound like a diesel at all from inside; it has the deep, resonant note of a six-cylinder petrol engine from a 1950s or 1960 sports car. It has arguably the most character of any diesel made today.
It's matched to an excellent six-speed automatic transmission from ZF; gearshifts both up or down are almost always jerk-free. There's a Sport mode to sharpen its reflexes, useful on winding mountain roads, and a manual mode activated by buttons on the steering-wheel that, used intelligently, guarantees a perfectly smooth and swift shift every time.
I liked this semi-limo that handles with such unlikely precision. It looks cooler than the Jaguar and has more toys but it's significantly more expensive and not quite such an engaging drive.
The BMW 7 Series has come in from the cold, no doubt about that, but for me Jaguar still rules the class.
The rivals
AUDI A8 3.0 TDi QUATTRO SE, £48 365 (R563 000)
Four-wheel drive is a benefit in poor weather, and the A8 has a weight advantage thanks to aluminium construction. Looks ultra-modern, is beautifully built, but is neither as relaxed nor as fun to drive as the BMW.
JAGUAR XJ6 TDV6, £43 995 (R512 000)
Cheapest in the class is also marginally the most economical, thanks to Audi-like aluminium construction, and the quietest. It also rides and handles the best, and recent XJ revisions have made it look less retro. Sport spec is best.
MERCEDES-BENZ S320 CDI, £50 965 (R593 000)
Up to now this has been the best luxury-car all-rounder of all and it still looks classically beautiful. Across Europe it's the best seller in the class, so it will be interesting to see how the imminent new one fares. - The Independent, London