I was contemplating the important matter of which Jessica was hotter - Biel or Alba - when my mind drifted to which roadster was prettiest.
I reckon I'd give it to the new Alfa Romeo Spider, with the new Audi TT a close second. The Pininfarina-designed Spider, derived from the equally handsome Alfa Brera coupé, certainly is a stunner and has so much machismo that the sexual orientation of its driver won't be questioned.
Looks are not the topless Italian's problem and if the matter were to be decided thus the Spider would rate high on the roadster ratings. It's the driving performance that washes the Spider down the spout.
Its biggest problem is a phenomenon called scuttle shake that occurs when a car loses the structural rigidity afforded by a roof. An imperfect road (boy, do we have those!) induces body flex in the Spider while most other modern roadsters and cabriolets have licked the problem by strengthening the lower body.
The new Spider has missed the mark on this one. It's a little better than the previous model - which was notoriously shaky - but still trembles and creaks like an old haunted house.
Which is a pity. The Spider 3.2 Q4's R529 000 sticker places it right in the territory of more rigid roadsters such as BMW's Z4, Mercedes' SLK and Porsche's Boxster and so much money certainly doesn't justify any quality corners being cut.
The Spider is available in two petrol versions, 2.2-litre front-wheel drive and 3.2 V6 all-wheel drive (on test here), and each has a six-speed manual gearbox.
The new six-cylinder 3.2 has variable valve timing and direct petrol injection that skips an intake manifold and theoretically boosts power and reduces fuel consumption. On paper, it's one hell of an engine and the sea level claimed performance figures are a decent top speed of 235 km/h and 0-100 km/h in seven seconds.
It's powerful and possessed of a charming snarl but it just doesn't pull as strongly as you'd expect from a 191kW car. Even though 90 percent of the maximum torque is on call from only 1800rpm it needs to be revved much higher than that to come on song. The car's fast, make no mistake, but in a grand tourer kind of way.
It lacks the instant kick and quick throttle response that would make it a real livewire.
The main problem is mass; this is no itsy-bitsy Spider. At 1690kg, it's very overweight for a two-seater roadster, 200-300kg heavier than a Z4, SLK or Boxster. The culprit here is the weight of the all-wheel drive system (Q4 in Alfa-speak) and I don't know whether the traction it adds is worth the straight-line pace it loses or the fuel consumption it adds - our test car averaged a budget-busting 17.3 litres/100km.
No torque steer
The basic torque distribution of the full-time Q4 system is mainly to the rear (43/57) to avoid understeer but the centre differential can send torque to the axle with the best grip to vary between a front/rear split of 72/28 to 22/78. On top of this, the car has VDC, Alfa Romeo's electronic stability system. It is permanently engaged but the anti-wheelspin function can be disengaged.
Because the all-wheel drive lays down power smoothly - no wheelspin or torque steer here - the Spider feels heavy through curves and, with that scuttle shake, does not inspire fast-cornering confidence. The steering feels good - well-weighted, not too light) and the grip from the wide rubber and all-wheel drive is good but, overall, the Spider 3.2 lacks the point-and-squirt agility of a true sports car.
The anti-lock brakes feel strong and there's a hill-holder system to prevent the car rolling back during an uphill start.
The power folding soft top takes about 30sec to open or close at the press of a button and makes some harsh noises. It stuck a couple of times but a push to release the roof from the window frame did the trick.
And, when cruising at high speed with the roof up, the air howls quite noisily around the side windows; they're not a perfect fit.
Push-button required
At least accommodation-wise Alfa has got things right. The leather-lined cabin is opulent and classy, the seats are supportive and comfy and they're ribbed in that sporty Italian style.
The fascia is angled towards the driver and, following current fashion, starting requires a button to be pushed.
There's good space in the cabin and the seats move back far enough for tall people. The luxuries list is well loaded and the Spider driver will want for very little - except satnav, which Alfa doesn't do.
There is, however, two-zone auto air-con, a high-end sound system, auto screen wipers and headlights, and rear parking radar.
Inflatable safety is in good supply with front and side crash bags, a knee bag under the steering wheel and rollover bars behind the seats.
Boot space is good for a roadster - 253 litres, roof up or down - and there's a number of stowage compartments in the cabin, including one that will chill your cans.
VERDICT:
A beautiful roadster that's entertaining to drive but dynamically behind its rivals. Those shortcomings are hard to ignore at this price.