Big luxury cars pose a conundrum. Either we take the view and ask the question, as some of my passengers did vociferously: "Who's going to buy it?"
Or we take the view that the most impressive amalgam of automotive technology and engineering is something to be admired and desired.
I know Mercedes, Jaguar, BMW and Lexus would hotly dispute the "most impressive" about the Audi A8 and I could spend a week contrasting them but you can be certain of one thing: this A8 packs an enormous locker of techno-engineering that ranges from life-saving to esoteric pampering.
Who will buy it? The senior corporate sector, the chief executives, the government for its ministers, the limousine market. So is it irrelevant to the vast majority?
Yes and no. Yes, because it is beyond the reach of most. So are many things in life. No, because a lot of what is showcased will percolate down to smaller, less-expensive cars in no time at all. What was the preserve of the super-rich car owner 10 years ago is now relatively commonplace.
So, in a way, this third-generation Audi A8 4.2 TDI quattro is a glimpse of the future. Like its two predecessors it is built around an aluminium space-frame.
Aluminium is light (40 percent less than steel) but immensely strong and they reckon this car's body is at least 20 percent stiffer. That means it stands up much better to the twists and turns of being driven on bad roads.
It's bigger than the Mercedes S-Class and Jaguar XJ but, because of the aluminium, weighs less.
At this level the difference between super-luxury cars comes down to a preference for one package (and that's what it has to be) over another.
For example, the Jaguar XJ has a lot of aluminium and a wonderful cabin; the BMW 7 Series has the best/sporting tuned chassis for driving I've tried and clinks with technology; the Mercedes S-Class is the perceived doyen; the Lexus LS460 refines the refined and has some extraordinary driver aids.
So why buy an Audi A8? It doesn't handle as well as the BMW andt ilacks the personality of either the Jaguar or S-Class.
But it does have the Ronaldo Touch. Let me explain...
The former Manchester United player had a wonderful way of bringing a football under control in an instant. It came naturally. That split-second advantage gave him space and time to inflict damage before his opponents could get in a tackle.
ARSENAL OF TECHNOLOGY
The A8 does things naturally. The technology gives it the confidence, the ease of control that seems easy but is immensely difficult.
Audi has steadily built an arsenal of technology that in many ways has gone unnoticed and would now see itself as well out in front but there are many fields of endeavour and everyone has their speciality.
Nonetheless, it was impossible not to be impressed by the A8's line-up. The adaptive cruise control that will maintain a set distance between it and the car ahead, down to stopping the car.
You can pick the sort of back massage you prefer in the driver's seat (R26 000 option) - I became addicted - and the pedestrian detection system, part of its "night vision" package (R33 000 extra).
I could go on and on. The standard equipment is extensive; the options stretch out too. Your cheque book determines how much you get.
MOPPING UP KILOMETRES
I spent enjoyable hours exploring elements of this via the new touchscreen multi-media interface. When driving I had to check myself to make sure I wasn't distracted.
That's easy to do because on any decent road, especially a motorway, this thing is just about awake at 120km/h. It takes virtually no effort, other than steering, to mop up kilometres at a relentlessly steady rate. It's the Ronaldo touch.
The motorway limit of 120kmh was nothing to the 4.2-litre V8 diesel under the half-acre bonnet and was totally under-used during my test but there will be a three-litre diesel (six-cylinder) before the end of 2010 and that will silence the chorus of "who is going to buy this?" because it will cost less and be closer to our needs.
Nothing radical has been done to the looks except for that huge, open-mouthed grille. The rest of it is smooth, rounded and unpretentious; not a head-turner like the Jaguar XJ is or indeed the BMW but that's OK. People who own/drive one of these don't necessarily want to attract too much attention.
It is comfortable and you do feel cocooned but I didn't think it was as comfy as the S-Class or the Lexus.
There's a lot of room and the seats are large and sturdy but I prefer those in the smaller A6. Can't say why for certain; just a feel. This is luxury but without that deep sense that Jaguar conjures every time.
THINGS CAN GET CONGESTED
The big picture impresses, the small one had me in wonder at the detail: how all the instrumentation was so simple and straightforward, how easy it was to reach everything. That goes for the steering wheel which is relatively and thankfully small.
Mind you, the area around the steering wheel can get a bit congested. The adaptive cruise control was too low on the left because my bony old knee caught it a few times and nudged the speed up another 10km/h.
The eight-speed gearbox worked seamlessly regardless of mode but I think it's let down by the mode-select lever. Despite a long association with it, I still found I pushed it too far or not far enough to get neutral and reverse. There should be a far more tangible and "certain" feel to it.
I suppose the ultimate touch is the all-wheel-drive that gave it unrivalled assurance on grip. Swinging it around bends or braking hard didn't sway this. It gives a sense of cohesion you don't always get from a big, big car.
COMFORTING TO KNOW
Safety is such a huge deal at this end of the market. The new "pre-sense" system analyses information from sensors and reacts so that occupants are restrained as much as possible if there's an impending emergency.
You hope you never need it but it is comforting to know it's there. Just like a lot of other stuff on this giant.
I call it unobtrusive excellence. Or the Ronaldo touch. And while, like the A8, most of us can never acquire such status, we can admire and hope the day hastens. - Irish Independent