The Pied Piper of Hamelin wouldn't want a flute if he were around today. Enchanted tootling might have worked in medieval Germany but it wouldn't enchant the modern kid. Nothing does - short of one-third of a million pounds' worth of Japanese supercar.
I know, because I drove this Lexus LFA up London's Regent Street and had a procession of kids following me all along the pavement as I slowly made my way. By the time I reached Oxford Circus there were about 40, all glassy-eyed with amazement - more glassy-eyed than usual, anyway.
To be honest, I don't know what makes today's teenager tick. Can anyone fill me in on Twilight? I know it's about vampires and wolves and presumably glitter and ponies and the bloke from it is more popular than God: he held up the traffic for ages in London with all the teenage girls waiting for him dressed up as vampiresses. But I couldn't pick him out of a police line-up, whoever he is.
The same goes for the boy I heard on Radio 1 the other day, some 16-year-old Canadian who's apparently the new big thing. Aged 13, barely out of wetting his bed, he put a video of himself prancing about on YouTube and the world's teenage girls went all fluttery. Apparently he had 40-million 'hits' before he'd put a record out.
What does it all mean? At that age all I was interested in was whether my Evel Knievel wind-up bike could jump 35 stormtroopers - and by the way, if anyone still has one of those, I want to buy it; it was the best toy ever.
My version of illegal downloading was hovering over the pause button on my tape recorder while Bruno Brookes did the Top 40 on Sunday afternoons. And even then I can remember my mum muttering that a wooden spinning top was all she'd had to look forward to after school. What are the kids of today going to be moaning about in 30 years? "In my day we had to make do with iPods"?
They probably will - because, like it or not, history will always overtake you. Take this car. When they started working on it it was at the bleeding edge of technology and proof of parent company Toyota's total confidence.
Six years later, costing £322 000 (about R3.5-million)and with only 500 worldwide, some people are calling it a white elephant. Should a company that's on its knees be trying to sell a 320km/h supercar with governments trying to tax fast cars off the road?
I say yes. Soon only Russian oligarchs and Simon Cowell will be able to afford combustion-driven sports cars. They'll be as rare as thoroughbred horses and we'll appreciate them more for it. So the LFA could be a glimpse of how those future supercars might look.
BRILLIANT TRIPLE EXHAUST
Fittingly, the styling is like nothing I've seen before: it doesn't have the emotional cues that car designers use. It's pure function, its aerodynamic surfaces broken up by weird cutaways that make it faster, not prettier. For example, the grooves in the wing mirrors channel cold air into the rear radiator inlets.
Step round the back and you not only see its brilliant triple exhaust but also get a big glimpse of what really makes the LFA special: carbon fibre. Toyota originally made looms and it wove its own carbon fibre-reinforced plastic (CFRP) for this, as it's lighter and stronger than aluminium. You can see it on the black rear diffuser - for creating downforce - but it's also in the cabin frame, the boot and bonnet, the brakes, the fascia, the floor and even the steering wheel.
And above that steering wheel is my favourite bit, an animated rev-meter that comes to life when you turn on the ignition on: first the needle appears, then the numbers light up round the dial (with the red line at 9000rpm), then a larger ring of gauges actually slides out from behind it, like Star Trek doors. It really is like driving a spaceship.
The satnav uses a "remote touch haptic joystick", for flip's sake.
As soon as you fire it up, though, you're back to Earth - directly connected to it through your feet, hands and buttocks. Ignite the free-breathing, 4.8-litre V10 and dab the throttle and the revs rise and fall like in a race car, with a noise to match.
BEST TUNE ON THE MARKET
Engage first from the single-clutch system - most cars like this now have a double clutch - and the car moves off with a low rumble. Hit a clear patch of road and the first thing you notice is the phenomenal straight-line speed - 0-100 in 3.6 seconds - and the second is the insanely quick gear change. The best bit, though, is the noise.
Above about 6500 revs the LFA has a better tune than anything on the market today. The air intakes are specially designed to generate bass and tenor tones, with three channels sending the sounds into the cabin: high notes from the dash, low notes from the floor. Honestly, this car is as great to listen to as it is to look at.
It changes direction in an instant, thanks to perfect weight distribution and track-tuned suspension and steering, while the 15" carbon-ceramic brakes are strong enough to launch your eyes from their sockets. I drove this car for a fun three days on the road and on the track and even to the pub - thanks for the free orange juice by the way, Mr Evans - and it was faultless. But at twice the price of a Ferrari, who's going to buy it?
Actually, I would - if I had silly money. It's already sold out in Japan. I think the bigger problem will be keeping it away from the footballers because this is too good a motor to be seen only with a tattooed numpty behind the wheel. It's a serious, all-out supercar and, given Toyota's troubles of late, it should finally give the bosses something to smile about.
Those kids were bewitched by it, and so am I. - London Daily Mail
TECH SPEC
Power/torque:
411kW/480Nm.
Top speed:
325km/h.
Transmission:
Six-speed auto/manual sequential.
Standard fixtures:
20" forged aluminium rims, 390mm carbon-ceramic disc brakes with ABS and ECB, traction control, stability control, rear diffuser, active rear wing (rises above 80km/h), LED brake lights, eight-way adjustable leather or Alcantara seats, TFT instrument display with motor-driven movable ring, climate control, remote touch entertainment system, 12-speaker lightweight audio system, mode dial (auto/sport/normal/wet), electric parking brake.
Optional extras:
Satnav, Mark Levinson premium audio, Nurburgring package (high-grip tyres, 420kW, sports tuning).