I've just had a brush with automotive genius, and yes, it's a BMW. I can sense you rolling your eyes already but before you get your knickers in a knot about another BMW road test filled with lyrical waxing, hear me out.
There's no M badge on the boot of this one, no V10 under the bonnet, no carbon-fibre, no semi-slick tyres and no record-breaking Nuerburgring lap times.
This is a big 5 Series body powered by four cylinders totaling only 1995cc and fed from the dark side of the pumps.
I know, you're rolling your eyes again, but I'm telling you with a straight face that the 520d is the best BMW I've driven in at least 18 months. Perhaps the best car in18 months, period.
I walked towards the car for the first time in the office car park thinking: "What business do the bunny-huggers have influencing our industry? Munich has been forced unwillingly into putting this little two-litre diesel into a body it was never intended for - I'm gonna hate it."
Assumption, they say, is the mother of all screw-ups. I assumed that this car would be underpowered. I assumed that it would have no character. I assumed that it would put me to sleep within the first kilometre. Well, I screwed up.
The 520d's not underpowered. BMW claims an 8.6sec 0-100 sprint. Without putting it against the clock I can confirm that its 130kW and 350Nm are perfectly adequate.
Prod the foot feed from a standstill and there's plenty of turbocharged whoosh coming through to the seat of your pants.
Not the kind that comes on strong in a quick wallop, but the kind that feels like a wave from behind pushing you through the gears surf-style.
Before you know it you're cruising on the far side of the national speed limit with a feeling of - "How did I get here?" There's a distinct lack of kerfuffle from under the bonnet and out of the tailpipes.
At 200km/h you find yourself scanning the airwaves for audible frequencies. Of course there's wind noise (at comfortable levels) but that's about it. Normally I'd describe engine noise as exactly that - noise - but in the 520d it's more tactile.
It's BMW hocus-pocus at its finest, like a diesel-powered buzzsaw vibrating through the pedals and steering wheel. Sublime really.
PRIUS, YOU'VE MET YOUR MATCH
In terms of luxury versus environmental irresponsibility this one's a winner. It emits only 158g/km of CO2 (185 for auto transmission, unfortunately), on a par with the Toyota Corolla and even compacts such as Renault's Modus but has the same luxurious interior and spacious boot as its wicked M5 stepsister which belches 357g/km.
The lead-footed louts that work here averaged 7.8 litres/100km but I guarantee that number can be significantly improved upon. Other testers are claiming figures in the fives, and BMW says "extra urban" driving will return as low as 4.7 litres/100km. I believe it. Prius, you've met your match!
My only complaint is a badly designed centre armrest that's too narrow and slides forward and back with every input of the throttle and brake pedals.
VERDICT
I loved driving this car. So much so that I'd try to find excuses to get out and behind the wheel. The best part is that with this sort of fuel consumption and eco-friendliness you don't need to feel guilty. Just drive and enjoy it.
While the world mulls over hybrid technology and scientists are working on a lithium-ion battery breakthrough for electric vehicle greenery, bide your time with a 520d and just cruise.