Specifications:
Model:
BMW X3 3.0si Exclusive.
Would suit:
Nicholas Cage.
Price:
R507 600.
Engine:
2996cc, six cylinders, 24 valves, 200kW at 6650rpm, 315Nm at 2750rpm.
Transmission:
Six-speed, semi-automatic gearbox, all-wheel drive.
Performance:
210km/h, 0-100km/h in 8.2sec, 15.2 litres/100km average.
It's a station wagon on stilts or a five-seater sports car but either way it's more fun than a 1.8-ton luxury tractor has any right to be.
BMW's second-generation X3 has a bigger kidney grille, double round headlights and a black plastic bumper that looks strong and protective without being heavy; the same applies to the black plastic trim all the way around the sills and wheel arches.
The tail door is huge - 1255mm wide and 900mm high - but horizontal character lines and split tail lights (new, with horizontal LED light rods) prevent it looking like a delivery van while a discreet spoiler extends the slightly tapered roofline to give it a "sportwagon" look.
Motoring.co.za was driving the X3 3.0si Exclusive with BMW's new straight-six, three-litre composite magnesium/aluminium engine that weighs only 165kg yet delivers 200kW at 6650rpm and 315Nm at 2750.
It's available only in six-speed auto with manual/sequential override but that's no hardship; the engine's wide spread of torque - it makes more than 300Nm from 2300-5200rpm - and the transmission's slightly reluctant kickdown combine to deliver satisfyingly muscular acceleration without excessive hunting.
The transmission rarely changes down even on quite steep hills but will kick down in a heartbeat if you floor the accelerator - and overtake anything in its path like a superbike.
In the words of Nicholas Cage in the 1987 film Raising Arizona, all you have to do is "Stomp it and steer"; the only way to spot the shifts is by the change in the engine note as the car gathers momentum like a snowball down a mountain.
The only time I used the sequential shift was during performance testing; the rest of the time I let the auto 'box do its thing and simply enjoyed its responsiveness and lack of fuss.
It took off to 100km/h in 8.2sec, covered the standing kilometre in 28.8s and reached a top speed (corrected for a 3.8 percent speedometer error) of 210km/h - in fifth gear as well as top.
As for real-world overtaking numbers, it went from 80-120km/h in 6.5sec and from 100-140km/h in a muscular 7.5sec.
Energetic braking
The brakes were just as energetic, hauling the X3 down from 100km/h to a standstill in three seconds flat (averaged across five stops in rapid succession) without pulling or fading.
All of the above agreed broadly with the factory's figures but we couldn't match BMW's fuel consumption data.
The factory claims 14.3 litres/100km around town; we burned 15.2 over a week's mixed driving, rising to a wallet-whacking 18.7 during performance testing.
But driving the big six hard is an absolute pleasure; the steering isn't quite as precise as that of a well set-up, rear-wheel drive car but the X3 always seems to go exactly where you point it.
The electronically controlled, multiplate X-Drive centre differential normally delivers 40 percent of the power to the front wheels and 60 percent to the rear but can deliver up to 75 percent to the front axle should the rear wheels begin to slip.
Staying on track
It also recognises imminent oversteer and applies power to the front wheels to correct it while the dynamic stability control (DSC) programme applies the brakes to individual wheels to keep all four on the chosen line and under extreme circumstances will reduce engine power to maintain direction.
But until you get to that point you don't even feel the system working; it will even allow a modicum of wheelspin when pulling away on a loose surface, which is great fun on gravel and could be vital when pulling a boat up a wet slipway.
What you experience from the driver's seat is confidence-generating roadholding, superb directional stability and the ability to change direction quickly.
And if the suspension seems a little firm for ultimate comfort, that's a fair trade-off for the X3's chassis dynamics, considering its generous 200mm ground clearance and commanding seating position.
160km/h conversation
It also runs impressively quietly; I was able to converse with a passenger at 160km/h with the engine noise intruding only under hard acceleration.
Since this is, after all, an SUV, I felt bound to take it off the tar; the ride, on a poor gravel road, was a little bumpy but well damped even when driving fast enough to give the DSC some work to do.
Inside, the X3 is finished with luxurious materials but fragmented styling, mostly in somewhat impractical shades of light grey; the seats, door panels and steering wheel are upholstered in leather. The front seats have power adjustment for height, rake and reach and good side support.
Complex controls
The driving instruments are superb, with clear lettering and clean layouts, but the centre stack is very busy; the controls for the automatic air-conditioning and audio system too complex.
There's no i-Drive; instead, you navigate the infotainment system (shown on a pop-up colour screen) by using the knobs that also tune and adjust the radio/CD player.
Don't do it while you're driving; there are controls for the sound and cruise control in the steering wheel so you don't have to, while the lights and windscreen wipers are automatic.
Rear legroom is generous but the rear seat is contoured for two, not three, people despite BMW's claims to the contrary.
There's plenty of storage, with huge pockets in the doors, a deep glove compartment and two layers of storage in the front centre armrest - although a six-CD shuttle takes up most of the lower level.
There's 480 litres of boot space under the luggage compartment cover, expanding to 1560 with the 60:40-split rear seats folded and loaded. So, a five-seater sports car with an humungous boot.