Problem: you like SUVs and sports coupés but can only afford one. The boys in Bavaria decided they couldn't stand to see well-heeled folk suffer with this quandary so they created the BMW X6.
It looks like the love child of an X5 and a 6 Series (probably conceived at a drunken office party on top of the copier) and creates yet another new niche in a market that's gone gaga for "crossover" vehicles.
I suppose anything was possible once Renault stuck a Formula 1 engine into an Espace MPV .
BMW calls its latest creation the world's first sports activity coupe and the derivative you see here gets a name like something out of a cheesy 1960's sci-fi flick: xDrive35i (xDrive35d if you choose the diesel one).
In BMW's words: "The BMW X6 combines the agility, performance and athletic design of a big BMW coupe with the versatility and raised seating position of an SAV" (sports activity cehicle, which is BMW-speak for SUV).
Quite so.
It sits high off the ground so you can peer over other cars while driving but has fastback coupe styling that makes other SUV's look like Putco buses. The coupe thing hasn't been taken too literally, however. The X6 is still a practical mommymobile with four doors.
And it sticks to the road like a cat to a curtain thanks to its xDrive all-wheel drive and a new piece of trickery called dynamic performance control.
DPC, which BMW says is a world first, works like this: instead of splitting power between the driven rear wheels it diverts it in a variable ratio according to the current driving situation.
When cornering, the system sends more drive to the outer rear wheel, which is under heavier load than the inner and can therefore transfer more traction to the road.
DPC differs from the limited-slip differentials fitted to some high-performance cars in that it doesn't need the inside wheel to start slipping before transferring more power to the outer.
DPC detects the first sign of under or oversteer and counters it by appropriate drive distribution. In extremis, all the power can be switched to any one wheel.
All the technical jargon boils down to one sweet-handling and inherently stable beast. You can always feel you're behind the wheel of something large and heavy and if you're expecting the agility of a BMW Z4 you're in for a letdown.
But the X6 is commendably neutral through bends, for its size and height, and doesn't have the hippo-on-rollerskates feel of some SUV's. It neither wallows nor prematurely understeers and even harshly jerking the steering fails to upset its composure.
Body roll? I don't know about the standard X6 but there wasn't any in our test car with its optional "adaptive drive"that stiffens the shock-absorbers while cornering. The picture shows us drilling the X6 as hard as we could through a corner but even at such SUV-inappropriate speeds the body stays parallel with the road and the Beemer feels utterly composed.
DIRT ABILITY
I suspect maybe one percent of X6 owners will ever venture off the tar - and probably only because they're lost - but there's some dirt ability if you need it. We put the Beemer through its paces on a mild-to-medium off-road course and it came through without any trouble.
It has all-wheel drive, decent ride height and gradient descent control so the big Bavarian is quite competent at cavorting through canyons if you stick with the standard 50-profile tyres (our test car wore optional low-profiles which were just asking for bent rims).
The sporty footwear also caused slight judders through the steering wheel on bumpy roads but the ride was otherwise good.
The award-winning three-litre twin-turbo petrol engine has already displayed its giant-killing prowess in much lighter BMW's such as the 335i and 135i. Having to shift 2.1 tons of X6 beats some of the bravado out of the 225kW six-cylinder engine but it still packs a reasonable punch.
Linear, lag-free power delivery is always available for a brisk take-off or quick overtaking, all smoothly processed by a six-speed semi-auto transmission with paddle shifters on the steering to let you play at being Robert Kubica.
HEAVY-FOOTED DRIVING
BMW claims an average fuel consumption of 12.1 litres/100km but our test vehicle's thirst ran to more than 16, admittedly with some heavy-footed driving.
The fastback styling of the X6's roof offers less headroom than an X5 but there's still enough for a 1.8m person to sit in the back without touching the head-lining. The rear seat takes only two passengers, however, as a cup holder/storage console occupies the centre.
The cabin is leather-lined with BMW's classy finishes as standard and plenty of bells and whistles for your R680 000. A few dollars more will get you the Sport, Innovation or Exclusive packages with extras such as head-up display, professional satnav and active steering.
One option I'd recommend to prevent car-park mishaps is the R3900 reversing camera; the sharp angle of the X6's rear window hampers rearward vision.
VERDICT
The X6 is neither fish nor fowl and perhaps this forced SUV-coupe marriage is too much for some people's tastes. Nevertheless, the X6 is impressively versatile. - Star Motoring