London, England - I've never been a big fan of sports cars. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I've always had an inherent prejudice against anyone I met who owned one.
To me, anybody prepared to spend upwards of £30 000 on a car - however fast or handsome it may have been - was clearly either a) deeply insecure, or b) in possession of far more money than sense - or both.
All this changed when I was handed the keys to a BMW Z4 coupé at Frankfurt airport and given four days to give the car a thrashing along the autobahn and around the German countryside.
I've driven sports cars before - and even taken them up to top speeds around Jonathan Palmer's racetrack in Bedfordshire - but no car I've ever had the pleasure of driving has been quite as seductive as BMW's latest model.
This is a car with which I struggled to find a single imperfection. From its sleek exterior design (much less boxy and more attractive than the regular Z4), right through to its smooth handling and hi-tech interior, this is a vehicle that cannot fail to impress.
Inside, every detail is designed to perfection: leather-upholstered seats and door panels; state-of-the-art sound and sat-nav systems; manual gear-change levers on the steering wheel for those who cannot bear to let the automatic engine have all the fun - and a fantastic view right down the car's long and, dare I say it, rather sexy bonnet.
The car's appearance has something of the Batmobile about it. With my sunglasses on, it was necessary to keep reminding myself that I was neither a superhero nor James Bond.
To drive, it is a dream - responsive and controlled and, with its three-litre engine, incredibly fast. Although the manufacturer claims that the Z4 has a top speed of 250km/h, this is an artificial limitation - not a true measure of what the car can really do. At 200km/h it feels as if it is barely trying. Even as it hits 250, the engine is crying out to go faster.
Although I've never been a big fan of automatic cars, I've always enjoyed the moment when the accelerator is almost at the floor, but not quite. An extra push - and the cars drop a gear and disappear.
In a BMW Z4, this experience is breathtaking. Hitting the floor - even as you're doing 150 - throws you back into your seat, and leaves most cars on the autobahn to eat dust.
How frustrating...
As I put the car to bed on the first night, I sat rather red-faced in my hotel room, thinking of how easily I had been seduced by a big piece of metal. Was I having a mid-life crisis? At 29, it seemed a little premature.
But then something occurred to me; while I had enjoyed the freedom of speed-unlimited autobahns, I considered how frustrating it would be to own a car of such power in Britain.
Each time I hit the autobahn, I found it almost impossible to cruise at anything less than 170km/h. Back in Britain, that would be instant disqualification, possibly jail.
Although the car certainly attracts attention - and probably can go some way towards filling the void in the lives of insecure middle-aged men - I couldn't help thinking that owning a car like this in Britain would be like tantric sex - all the action, but no climax.
Don't get me wrong; I really have been converted to the joys of beautiful and fast cars. And what was once a savings fund for my future children is now full of money that one day I hope to spend on an entirely different sort of baby - a big metal navy-blue one.
But I'll be sure to emigrate to Germany first. - The Independent, London
- The Z4 Coupe will be launched in South Africa this week - and motoring.co.za will be there.