The Chrysler 300C Hemi is as subtle as a left hook from Mike Tyson (when he was still a decent boxer) and it wouldn't be surprising to see the ear-biting one or someone similar behind the wheel.
The car has a gangsta look about it - I had to fight the urge to don dark shades, a cut-off vest and gold chains. The 300C is the very antithesis of Camry-like, lost-in-the-crowd anonymity with its sheer bulk, bluff shape and hotrod-style grille.
It's the embodiment of the American muscle car.
The most entertaining part of driving the thing is the effect it has on onlookers. Everyone stares at it: petrolheads, schoolchildren, grannies. Of course, not all regard it fondly; the lads tend to like it and the gals not - surprise, surprise.
So it gets 10 out of 10 for presence, but what else is there behind that gnashing grille? Huge space, lavish luxury, the credibility of technology-sharing with sister company Mercedes-Benz and a brute of a 5.7-litre V8 Hemi engine, for starters.
All for at least R140 000 less than you'd pay for a luxury German sedan with similar power and spec.
The flagship 300C Hemi retails for R430 000; it's also available in a 3.5 V6 for R349 000. That's a bargain compared with a Mercedes-Benz E500 at R593 000, a BMW 550i for R578 000 or an Audi A6 4.2 quattro for R575 000.
The Chrysler doesn't have the sophisticated, nose-in-the-air bearing of its Teutonic rivals but, rand-for-rand, it's an astute buy.
Hemi, in case you're wondering, is a term synonymous with big, powerful American engines. It refers to the hemispherical shape of the engine's combustion chambers, a design which produced more power than the flat-head types common in the 1950's when Chrysler launched it.
The engine under the 300C's tennis court-sized bonnet subscribes to the "cubes-is-king" theory. It's an old-fashioned, two-valves-per cylinder, pushrod unit with cylinders the size of coffee tins.
No matter how the club is wielded as long as it connects with a heavy thump, I always say, and that 5.7 pushes out some righteous hitting power.
With 250kW and 525Nm on tap there's no shortage of energy and the car romps forward with spirit, given there's a hefty 1.7 tons to shift. Chrysler says the 300C will hit 100km/h in 6.4sec at sea level, a very respectable figure, while top speed is an electronically governed 250km/h.
Cruise missile
On the open road this is a real cruise missile. The five-speed auto transmission is a driver-adaptive type that changes its shift patterns depending on whether you're driving like Auntie Ethel to church (yeah, right) or doing a Kimi Raikkonen impersonation.
Mostly it's very slick and on cue, though there are times when the transmission's a bit too eager to go through a lot of gearchanges so it's a welcome feature that it also offers manual shifts.
It's all delivered with a throaty V8 murmur and those dual tailpipes aren't just for show. The 300c canters along with little wind or road noise apart from its pleasantly gruff engine note, and refinement levels are right up there with the best.
A multi-displacement system (MDS) switches off one bank of cylinders, in a bid to keep the world's oil wells pumping a bit longer, when the engine decides you don't need all its power by sensing a lighter throttle input.
All eight pots come alive again in a seamless transition that's not felt by the driver when you stomp the pedal. In theory this saves fuel but our test car was still as thirsty as a barfly and quaffed around 16.5 litres/100km.
Along with a big engine, the quintessential American muscle car is supposed to have dodgy build quality and handle like a startled buffalo on a tiled floor, but the big Chrysler surprises us yet again.
Demand respect
It's a big car and demands respect but it's not bad in the corners given its bulk. The 300C displays German car-like nimbleness thanks to rack-and-pinion steering and modern, multilink aluminium rear suspension that feels neither too hard nor squishy.
The ride's very smooth, with little juddering through the body or the steeringand even on ripples
Grip is in good supply - aided by traction control - and body roll isn't excessive. The steering is a bit light for really enthusiastic cornering but makes the car easy to manoeuvre around town.
The car's one dynamic flaw, however, is its dead-feeling brake pedal. You have to stomp it quite hard to scrub off speed even when travelling at a moderate pace.
Nice touches
The Chrysler's leather-lined cabin is considerably more plush than we've come to expect from American cars. It doesn't match the luxury German and British cars for opulence but it's hard to criticise the general quality and finish.
The expensive-looking analogue clock is a nice touch, as is the wooden steering wheel which feels as smooth as Maria Sharapova's thighs (I'm guessing).
At just a couple of centimetres shorter than a BMW 7 Series the 300C is spacious. You could fit a trio of Sumo wrestlers in the back seat and the rear air vents will ensure they won't get all hot and sweaty.
The 300C Hemi isn't short of features: heated and electrically adjustable front seats, a premium 380W Boston Acoustics sound system, rain-sensing windscreen wipers, multiple crash bags, seatbelt pre-tensioners, xenon headlights and a parking assistance system are all part of the package.
Unfortunately there's no satellite navigation, not even as an option.
There are, however, a couple of annoying "safety" features designed for the lawsuit-crazy American market, for instance a seat-belt alarm that starts bonging loudly the instant you insert the key into the ignition, before you even start the engine.
Summary
The styling's not everyone's bottle of Budweiser but if you're not shy (in fact, if you crave attention) the 300C's your beast.
Whatever you think of those gangsta looks the 300C's power, spec, space and pricing make it a very attractive deal all round and it costs a lot less than a German luxobarge without looking like you're slumming it.
Your wife might not like it but she'll soon shut up when you buy her a Polo with the money you saved.
Price:
R430 000
- Test car from DaimlerChrysler SA