The new Mini Cooper Convertible has one thing over Demi Moore in the movie Striptease: it can open its top at 120km/h.
Its electric soft cover can slide back and forth by up to 40cm with the car on the move, which is handy if you're caught in one of Gauteng's sudden thunderstorms while driving topless on the freeway.
To fold the whole roof, however, you'll have to stop somewhere - preferably in a crowded shopping-mall car park for maximum spectator effect. At a push of a button the roof will disappear in around 15 seconds into a space in the boot - and all four windows will open simultaneously.
BMW SA launched convertible versions of the Cooper and supercharged Cooper S, the latter tested here. At R249 000, the topless Cooper S costs R33 500 more than the hardtop.
That's quite a bit of extra money but for making a visual statement a Cooper with its roof down makes seriously noticeable eye candy - the type that has schoolchildren whooping and waving as you drive past.
It didn't seem to catch the radar of any hot women of legal age while I was driving it, though, perhaps because of the reputation of cabrios as "hairdresser" cars.
As for refinement, driving with the canvas top closed isn't too noisy and you can cruise without resorting to shouting at your passengers - or vice versa.
There's some wind whoosh at higher speeds that demands cranking up the sound system (a not-too-shabby one with decent volume) but who buys a convertible if a bit of wind noise is going to bug them.
The rear windscreen is glass, not easily-scratched plastic, but the closed canvas top causes a huge blind-spot that severely restricts over-the-shoulder vision.
Slicing off the Cooper's steel roof has done little to affect its meerkat-like agility. The car zips through turns like Pacman on fast-forward with probably the most direct steering this side of a single-seat race car.
It's a livewire of sensations, never feeling aloof or remote, leaving the driver tapped-in to every nuance of its behaviour. The grip is terrific and it takes some effort to throw the car into a corner fast enough for traction control to engage.
Losing the structural rigidity of a hard roof has, however, reduced the Cooper's ride quality despite the shell having been strengthened. The body flex that afflicts some cabriolets isn't too obvious on most roads but on rippled surfaces the combined effect of the missing hardtop and stiff suspension make this Mini judder like the midriff of a belly dancer.
The hardened sidewalls of the run-flat tyres further worsen the ride though this is perhaps worth the safety benefit of being able to drive the car with a puncture, even in the case of a blowout.
The electric roof and body strengthening make the Cooper S Convertible around 100kg heavier than the tin-top and that means a decrease in performance.
We weren't able to independently test the figures here on the Reef but we achieved 0-100km/h in 8.6 secs and a quarter mile (400m) sprint in 15.8 in the hardtop Cooper we tested; the Convertible should be around 0.2 slower on each count.
Light clutch, responsibe throttle
The little car feels very brisk with 125kW and 220Nm on call from the force-fed, 1600cc engine and the whine from the supercharger and cheeky exhaust chortle add a shot of acoustic adrenalin.
A light clutch and responsive throttle makes a spirited getaway from the traffic lights easy; despite the reasonable power exiting through the front wheels the Cooper S scoots off without torque steer.
There's a dead spot at low rpm but the engine gets into its power band pretty quickly. From there on it pulls heartily all the way to the red line as you pluck through its six-speed gearbox.The anti-lock brakes wipe off speed impressively fast.
The Cooper's extravagant exterior styling is matched by the flamboyant cabin. Frog-eye gauges, two-colour seats and many shiny, happy bits make the cabin a riot of fun; most other interiors seem as dull as the inside of a post office by comparison.
The two chromed rear roll hoops not only look good but are there to protect your skull should you invert but they do hamper rearward vision. Four crash bags are also part of the Cooper S's crash kit.
The cramped back seat is a no-no for adults unless the front passengers are tiny. Don't expect to play much golf either as the boot's a meagre 165 litres, shrinking to only 120 with the roof folded, and isn't enough to stand a shopping bag upright.
Only with the rear seats folded does a useful 605-litre capacity become available. Take the hint: don't buy this car if you're a family of more than two.
All the tricks you'd expect
The front seats are far less cramped, though a reach-adjustable steering-wheel would have made life easier for longer-legged drivers. The column only tilts.
All the tricks you'd expect for the price are there, including air-conditioning, power windows and even parking distance control which proved especially effective given the limited rearward vision.
The power soft top is available in black, blue or green.
If you're feeling flush you can optionise with auto-levelling xenon headlights, 17" alloy rims, a navigation system, wind deflector or rain-sensing windscreen wipers.
And hey, how about using those same rain sensors to close the roof should your convertible be parked and the rain comes down?
SUMMARY
Life is a cabriolet, old chum. There's no shortage of thrills in this BMW-built character car.
For a mix of engine oomph, slick handling and extravagant showmanship, the Cooper S Convertible rates high on the funometer - definitely one of the most enjoyable ways to mess up your hairstyle. - Star Motoring