For a time when I was a kid, my dad insisted on taking me to school in a 1.6-litre Ford Capri. Because it was white, I made him drop me off round the corner. Back then, no boy wanted to be seen in a white car.
A couple of years ago, thanks to the iPod making white synonymous with hi-tech cool, white cars started to come back. I had things such as the Toyota iQ, the Kia Soul and even the seven-figure Bentley Continental sent to me in gleaming white for that "just rolled out of the laboratory" look.
But fashion is a pendulum and whatever's cool in 2009, the opposite will be cool in 2010. What's the opposite of gleaming white? You're looking at it.
This is the first matt-black car I've been sent, a special-edition Mercedes C63 AMG called the DR520. If it looks good on the screen, I assure you it looks even better in real life.
It certainly made an impression when I arrived at Silverstone for one of their test days, half the onlookers wondering what the hell it was, the other half wondering who was going to appear from behind the smoked-glass windows (sorry to disappoint, folks).
I drove it for three days and I can tell you, matt-black cars have a hypnotic effect on people. Well, men. Well, teenage boys mostly. I popped into a garage near Birmingham for five minutes, filling the car up for the fourth time in two days, and when I came out it was surrounded by Eminem lookalikes.
For some reason a Brummie accent crossed with Boyz N The Hood lingo is completely beyond my Yorkshire understanding. I think they said, "Is it stickers?" But by the time I'd worked it out, I'd driven off.
They were asking the right question, though, because until recently a matt effect would have been achieved with vinyl wraps, giant stickers that go over the proper paintwork. They're cool in a Mad Max sort of way, but I wouldn't do it to a car I'd bought. That would be like buying a Prada coat and dying it black with Dylon.
Luckily, you can order matt paint as a factory option with some of Mercedes' newest cars. They're the first to offer it - they call it Designo Magno paint - and although it's difficult to do, they reckon it's more scratch-resistant and hides dirt better than metallic paint.
But if you ask me, they're just responding to the trend while it's hot. It'll probably be uncool again by 2012, but for the time being this is what a certain sector of the market is screaming out for.
Which sector? Well, put it this way: when my editor asked why he'd seen so many matt cars on his way to work, I was stumped - until I worked out his commute takes him past Knightsbridge.
MAKING IT UNBEAUTIFUL
If you're interested in Porsches, Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Bugattis, head round the back of Harrods any summer evening and you'll see dozens of them, all illegally parked, all with UAE number plates and, sadly, all customised to within an inch of their lives.
What possesses someone to spend a fortune on a beautiful car and a further fortune making it as unbeautiful as possible? I've seen Range Rovers that look like they've had a chainsaw taken to them. The other week there was a R14-million Koenigsegg sprayed powder blue, with a wheel clamp on it.
You can always tell their owners. They have gold watches, gold Gucci shades, gold cellphones, silk shirts and expensively distressed jeans over flabby thighs that have never done a day's work in their life.
And, to be honest, it's because of them (and footballers, who look the same apart from the thighs) that I've never been into "individualising" my cars.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT BLACK CARS
I don't buy shiny rims or have my WAG's name stitched into the upholstery. Most of my new cars have been simple, shiny black - although I have bitten the bullet and ordered a white Audi R8, as it's easier to clean.
Silver shows up the least dirt but there's something about black cars that draws me back.
And now there's this. I've never seen a better-looking station wagon. But - and it's a big but - such a head-turning paint job should only be chosen if you have what this thing has under the bonnet.
Wisely, Mercedes has responded to me asking for a matt car by sending me a super-rare version of the C63 AMG.
IT JUST FEELS RIGHT
After engine upgrades it's now very nearly as powerful as the new SLS Gullwing supercar which costs two-and-a-half times as much. At a frankly ridiculous 383kW, it has to be limited to 300km/h - and you can fit a flat-pack wardrobe in the back.
This is the only car I've seen that looks right in this colour. The inside matches, too. It's got ambient lighting and cool AMG racing dials, and the seats, doors and dash are black alcantara (a kind of synthetic suede). I love alcantara interiors. Like putting on a freshly ironed shirt, it just feels right.
But, as with a freshly ironed shirt, don't eat or drink near it, as it marks like hell. Maybe that's why those UAE playboys like standing outside their cars so much: milkshake on the badger-skin seats would be a right pain to get off with a wet wipe.
So there you go, boss. Matt cars are no longer the preserve of boy racers, taste-inhibited sportsmen and teenage billionaires. They've gone respectable. The wife will hate it and it'll be a magnet to every cop car in the land, but if you're brave enough, take the plunge.
TECH SPEC
Engine:
6.2-litre V8.
Power:
383kW.
Torque:
650Nm at 5000rpm.
Top speed:
300km/h (limited).
Transmission:
Seven-speed automatic.
Fuel consumption:
13.5 litres/100km.
CO2 emissions:
326g/km.
Standard equipment
18" titanium-finish AMG alloys, adaptive braking system with drying and priming functions, AMG body-styling kit, sports exhaust, three-stage stability control with traction control, adjustable, heatable AMG sports seats, auto airconl, automatic power tailgate, one-touch-opening power windows and sunroof, extended interior lighting, auto lights and wipers, lane-change mointor, front and rear parking sensors, leather-and-alcantara upholstery.
Optional
19" alloys, Comand multimedia system with radio, hard-disc satnav, six-disc CD/DVD changer, iPod connectivity and voice control, privacy glass, AMG rear-axle limited-slip differential. - Daily Mail, London