The Peugeot 3008: What you get if you cross a saloon, an MPV, an SUV and a hatchback
Man flu is the worst, isn't it? I've had plenty of time to think about this because I've been bedridden for most of the week.
The reason women think we're laying it on thick when we complain is that, to them, being tucked up under a duvet with a hot drink watching rubbish telly counts as "me time". They look forward to it but us men see daytime telly is a hell far worse than the sore throat, shivers and shakes.
I've learnt a lot, you know, lying here watching the box with my bottle of Night Nurse. I've learnt more than I'll ever need to know about car boot sales and "what not to wear".
Despite my malaise, out I went into the bone-chilling cold to take another look at this new Peugeot 3008. It's a new fixture in the French firm's range and is supposed to combine aspects of a sedan, an MPV, an SUV and a hatchback - an over-ambitious plan if you ask me.
It's due in South Africa early in 2010.
The information in the media release showed what looked like a sporty race car but that wasn't the car I was looking at, even allowing for my weeping eyes. It's fair to say the 3008 isn't the prettiest car yet made. I like the roofline and rear view, but that's about it.
Then again, the people this is aimed at are much more interested in function than form. This is 100 percent a family car, with four doors, a five-star NCAP safety rating and a hatch at the back and British mums have been snapping such up for years. It's what's in the box, not what it looks like, that matters - and the 3008 gets a lot of things right.
Take the huge boot: more than enough to take a week's shopping and a buggy and easily expanded by sliding the back seats forward or folding them flat.
The bottom half of the split tail door works as a loading shelf and you can split the boot into two levels with a full-width adjustable tray. Up front there's plenty of headroom, giving a sense of space that's increased by the panoramic windscreen - extending all the way from the bonnet to the back seats.
At the front sits a plastic wraparound dashboard and a big drinks chiller but not many gadgets - as you'd expect at this price (the range goes from £16 000 to £22 000; I had a good one in Exclusive trim, with the same 1.6-litre petrol engine as the Mini Cooper S). I do love the clear glass display that rises from the fascia like the weapons system on a helicopter gunship.
But if you have children kids - and if you buy this car, you will - it's the first thing the little terrors will rip off when you're out putting money in the parking meter.
NO HOT HATCH
As for the driving, I was pleasantly surprised. With plenty of low-down torque and a top speed of 200km/h, you can always pull out to overtake the odd truck or caravan. Gear-changing is quick and easy, which means a smooth ride as you pull away from the lights.
It's no hot hatch - due to its height and your high seating position, corners are taken slower than in most cars - but it feels sportier than a lot of these jack-of-all-trades crossovers. The top half of the 3008 range is fitted with roll control to prevent that wallowy feeling, and mine never felt anything less than squarely planted.
Fuel economy was good, averaging about five litres/100km, which isn't bad as the car was full of people and heavy garden stuff. Driving at night was great, with the (optional) directional headlights making life a lot easier. Overall, I can see a lot of plus points.
But does it really combine saloon, hatchback, MPV and SUV in one package?
The first three, yes, but to call it an SUV is pushing it. Unlike its chief competitor the Nissan Qashqai, which is a genuine 4x4, the best this can offer is an optional "grip control" system that combines special mud-and-snow tyres with a front-wheel anti-slip gizmo. I suspect even with that it would get stuck in my drive at the slightest appearance of slush.
TIGUAN BETTER-EQUIPPED
I've just re-read the brochure, though, and it only claims "the rugged looks of an SUV", not the abilities. Maybe I'm being unfair judging it against all-wheel-drive competitors, but they shouldn't bring it up if they don't really mean it.
Since they do, it invites comparison not only with the Qashqai but with Volkswagen's 4WD Tiguan, which I've driven and found better-looking and better-equipped than this car.
Even if you forget the off-road elements, the 3008 still has to beat the Citroen C4 Picasso and Ford C-Max. So, which one should you pick?
Well, if you're after a cheap family load-lugger, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the 3008 - it's bright and sunny to drive, just not much fun to look at. Which, I suppose, is rich coming from a 37-year-old chef, standing in the cold with a dripping nose, four days' stubble and Lemsip breath.
But that's the great thing about man flu: it means never having to say you're sorry. - Daily Mail