Price on the road in UK: £46 755 (about R547 000)
Maximum speed: 250km/h, 0-100 in 6.1sec
Combined fuel consumption: 11.44 litres/100km
What would you say are the early warning signs of the onset of middle age? Hairs sprouting from unlikely orifices? The sneaky feeling that, one wrong move, and you might pull something?
I suspect coveting a Lexus has to be one. Reading the news media reviews of the new GS series you could be forgiven for thinking this is the greatest car since the Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost.
Testers have heaped superlatives on its hushed concert-hall ambience, its redoubtable build quality, its creamy power and glittering arcade of gadgets. The stereo is even signed by a man called Mark Levinson - how cool is that?
Well, one thing the Lexus is not, is cool. I suspect the rave reviews of the GS have as much to do with the fact that, almost without exception, car reviewers are male, middle-aged and - how can I put this politely - a bit nerdy.
It is a sorry state of affairs, I admit. Imagine if all the fashion writers, book critics or rock-music reviewers were like this.
We'd all be shopping at Army and Navy, reading Bravo Two Zero and, erm, listening to Coldplay. Sadly, I am starting to become all these things myself (although I was male to start with, I can't blame that on the job), which is why, when the GS first arrived outside my house, I hurled myself face down before it and sobbed with untrammelled joy.
It's taken them some time - 16 years in fact - but Lexus has at last built a car that doesn't look like it was styled by a computer programmer. It does seem odd, though, that they spent all that time and money trying to convince people that Lexus wasn't just a posh Toyota only for them to design a car that looks like a posh Toyota.
That said, the new GS's hunched curves and prowling snout won't look too out-of-place in the executive car park next to the Beemers, Mercs and Jags. And the 4.3-litre V8 in the GS430 I drove is one of the most magnificent engines yet made - velvety, chocolatey, George Hamilton-smooth - plus it has more torque than any rival.
Not since Herbie has a car been this effortless to drive and, as you would expect of a make that routinely tops customer-satisfaction surveys, you can't fault the quality.
The wafer-thin shutlines, heavyweight furniture and sheer, monolithic presence of the thing all demand nerd-worship.
Struggling for identity
But something in me resists the siren, pipe-and-slippers song of the Lexus. Perhaps it is the half-timbered steering wheel or the very fact that it was deemed necessary to plaster the interior of a cutting-edge supersedan with any wood at all.
I wouldn't dream of insulting your intelligence by complaining of a "lack of soul" or other such guff (cars stopped having soul around about the time platform-sharing and robot accountants took over the automotive world) but Lexus as a brand still seems to be struggling for an identity of its own.
Hence the Jaguar-esque interior, the Mercedes-esque exterior and the BMW-esque engineering.
What the GS does, for now, is render Lexus's flagship, the LS, redundant. It is more desirable, simply, better in every way; it is a thoroughly, deeply impressive machine with the presence, power, build quality and, at last, the badge prestige to give ailing Mercedes a real fright.
And I'm sure it looks even better through bifocals.
- The GS430 will be released in South Africa in mid-2006 as part of an extensive re-launch of the brand with, hopefully, more competitive pricing.