By Michael Booth
Specifications
Would suit:
People who wouldn't be seen dead in a Mondeo.
Price:
£34 982 (as tested).
(SA Price: R335 500)
Performance:
232km/h, 0-100km/h in 8.5sec.
Combined fuel consumption:
5.9 litres/100km.
Well, the good news is that Mercedes is no longer making cars out of chip packets, straw and old floor tiles.
Everyone says that Mercedes is back to building cars that are cast from molten granite in the lava fires of Mordor; cars which, in their reassuring structural heft, make BMWs look like those Beetles made from Coke cans by people who live in shanty towns.
This is because the Stuttgart firm has finally, and at great financial loss, lanced the festering pustule that was Chrysler.
Rid of its weeping American carbuncle, Mercedes' quality-control bods need no longer spend their time in transatlantic cattle class on emergency fire-fighting missions to regulate shut lines and glovebox tolerances.
No, Mercedes is now free to do what it does best: making cars as monuments; cars that feel as if they will never die.
Or, at least that's what I thought until I sat in the new C-class and, with my finely honed instinct for finding the worst in a car, started prodding the gear-lever surround and it came off in my hand.
I started the engine. It was a diesel. It sounded like a cement mixer full of gravel and ran out of puff surprisingly low in the rev range.
I wasn't impressed, particularly when I checked how much it cost and found out that, though the base price is £28 000 (R305 000 in SA), if you throw in the BMW iDrive-style Comand (sic) multimedia system and a panoramic sunroof, among a few other bits, you'll be up to £34 982 (335 500 in SA).
For what is, essentially, a Golf rival with a boot!
But I stuck at it and drove around in this, the C220 CDi, with its upright styling (the shape of things to come, I'm afraid, thanks to new pedestrian impact safety legislation), chunky grille (you can have yours with either the old-fashioned grille with "rifle sight" badge on top, or with a more streamlined "Sport" grille) and snazzy AMG wheels.
And, do you know what? In the classic Mercedes manner, slowly, steadily, it began to work its way into my affections. Yes, the gear lever surround was wobbly, but the rest of it just felt so reassuringly weighty and well built.
Discreet power delivery
As I got to know the engine better, I found it had real guts; I loved the discreet power delivery, the way it flowed down the road and the way the ride offered the perfect balance between refinement and sportiness.
Over just a few days I came to think of it as a member of the family - that dull uncle who can only talk about golf - which is how a Mercedes should be. It is a heavy car compared to a BMW 3 Series (almost 200kg heavier, in fact), but it carries it well and you'd never guess from its spectacular frugality.
So yes, this is a qualified return to how a Mercedes should be and, I suspect, once people start to perceive the company is back on form in terms of quality and gravitas, that high sticker price will be reflected in excellent resale values (and you do get a reasonable array of extras, such as climate control and front, side and driver's knee crash bags).
Just imagine how good Mercedes would be if it could only get someone to take Smart off its hands... - The Independent, London