A clever man once said it takes no imagination to be uncomfortable; perhaps it was this pearl of wisdom that led Mercedes-Benz to create the GL, a seven-seater luxury SUV for the kind of people who believe that "roughing it" means leaving home without their electric blankets.
And why should they rough it, if they can afford the GL's price tags? - R710 000 for the GL320 CDI turbodiesel or R810 000 for the GL500 petrol reviewed here.
That's 35 and 40 grand more respectively than they cost at the SA launch in November 2006, so kick yourself if you didn't bag one before the January 2007 price increase.
Even so the mega Mercs still offer a lot for the money; the GL is considerably larger than the Mercedes ML five-seater and more than 300kg heavier.
The bigger body accommodates two extra seats that are actually big enough for adults, unlike most "multi-seaters" where the rear pews are only suitable for midgets.
If you need more room for the Louis Vuitton luggage, press a button and the electric rear seats fold flat into the floor - just remember to remove the passengers first.
The middle row can also be folded (manually) to create a cargo bay that looks nearly big enough for a whole golf cart, let alone the golf bags. The tailgate is also operated by remote control so you don't have to break a nail.
Along with space, safety is also plentiful in the GL thanks to anti-locking brakes, traction control, multiple crash bags, seatbelt pre-tensioners, whiplash-reducing "active" head restraints, and Merc's Pre-Safe system.
This was introduced in the S-class; it detects when you're about to have a crash, and moves the electric seats to the optimum position to keep their occupants out of harm's way.
Mercedes went through a phase of not-so-plush interiors, particularly in the first-generation M-Class, but now it's back in the game.
The GL's passenger quarters are pure opulence, with leather everywhere (the soft nappa variety in the GL500); even the fascia is covered in the stuff. Wood panelling and brushed aluminium complete the high-class cabin jewellery.
It has all the gadgets too: electrically-adjustable front seats, cruise control, and a high-end audio system are among the many features to keep a fussy fat cat happy.
The build is rock solid and noise, vibrations and harshness levels are low, adding to the business class comfort levels; the big Benz wafts along without any intrusive wind or road noise.
If your budget can take it you can add extra cost options such as satellite navigation, a TV and a rear-seat DVD entertainment system with monitors in the front headrests to which external audio/video sources or a games console can also be connected.
Also optional, is a reversing camera to help you park, though it really should be standard on a vehicle this size.
True off-roader
The GL is a true off-roader, not an occasional pavement climber. It comes standard with all the off-road gear that's optional on the smaller ML including air suspension, differential locks, low range, and hill descent control - everything you need to plod through picturesque pastures, scuttle through swamps, or dart up dunes if you can find any to climb legally these days.
When we took the big Benz for a bundu-bashing session (eco touring, if you prefer) there was little that could stop it in its tracks; it really is a very accomplished off-roader.
The air suspension reduces ground clearance to 198mm for fast cruising, and rises all the way to 307mm if you want to impress your neighbours by parking it on the rockery in your garden.
The speed-sensitive system and automatically lowers the body by 15mm at 140km/h, reducing aerodynamic drag and allowing the GL500 to reach its 240km/h top speed. Once the speed drops back below 40km/h the body raises itself to normal level.
The ride is plush and the GL500 glides along smoothly on its air suspension, with the adaptive damping system adjusting the shocks to suit road conditions.
The driver can select from three ride comfort programmes: Auto, Sport or Comfort. On the Comfort setting the giant German flattens bumpy roads with supreme smoothness.
Good traction
The GL's not unbearably clumsy in the corners for such a big tank, in fact it's able to get through fast and medium sweeps at a fair pace. There's good traction from those über-wide 19" tyres and the body doesn't lean too badly on the suspension's "Sport" setting.
The 500 nomenclature plays down the vehicle's true firepower; the engine's actually a 5.5-litre but Mercedes Benz believes the 500 badge has more of an image with its customers. There's no shortage of pulling power; the company says it will go from 0-100km/h in 6.6sec at sea level.
It feels very lusty indeed, with a hearty V8 growl; I did feel a dip in its power delivery at Gauteng altitude from when I'd driven the GL on its launch at sea level in 2006, but one could never accuse it of struggling.
Nevertheless, I sometimes missed Mercedes' now-discontinued supercharged 5.5-litre engine that would have maintained its performance at all altitudes.
A seven-speed automatic is the only transmission available in the GL; it can be left to its own devices, changing gears as smoothly as a hot knife through butter. You can change cogs with the F1-style, steering-wheel paddle shifters but it seems pointless as the gearbox doesn't hold your selected gear and still downshifts when it pleases.
VERDICT
All you want from the ultimate SUV: mega space, pace and luxury, and real off-road ability. It's huge and can be intimidating to drive, however; potential buyers need to ask themselves whether they really need something this big, or whether they're just doing it for their egos.