Would suit:
Boy bands for whom a Previa won't do
Price:
£38&nbdsp;475 (about R506 000)
Performance:
215km/h, 0-100km/h in 8.8sec
Combined fuel economy:
9.5 litres/100km
At last, a Vauxhall Zafira for posh people: the new Mercedes R-Class. I like to think of myself as posh; I once owned a pair of trousers from Hackett, for instance, plus I have a foreign wife, so this looked very promising.
It was low and sleek, sexy even (if we can ignore the unsettling echoes of the SsangYong Rodius to the rear; and the fact that it looks like it's crying), yet this was an MPV with room for six and whose seats did all of that folding and sliding business so beloved of Corolla Verso owners and their dogs.
Usually, ownership of a people carrier indicates that one has resigned oneself to a life of school runs and runny noses but the R-Class looked like it would be equally at home dropping me off outside the casino at Monte Carlo for my weekly high-stakes game of baccarat with George Hamilton IV.
It could well be the very car I had been looking for all these years.
And, you know what? It is. From the moment I snuggled down into its firm-but-comfortable leather driving seat and surveyed the beautifully finished, elegant fascia, the five other lavish armchairs - four of which fold flat into the floor - countless cubbyholes and the happy absence of ruched door trim, and then started up its whisper-quiet, three-litre diesel V6, I knew this was the car for me.
Driving it only served to stoke my ardour. Its great weight flattened the road to a billiard table; its immensely torquey engine whooshed up the scenery; its slick, seven-speed auto box changed gears with the well-oiled smoothness of a local radio DJ introducing a Sade track from a bath of WD40.
It doesn't half shift for a big 'un, roaring off the blocks and reeling in the scenery with the kind of composure that would frighten some sports sedans half its weight.
The R-Class is built in Mercedes' Alabama plant, source of so many of its quality woes over the last half-decade, but, as I said when I tried the new M-Class recently, I do believe Mercedes has turned a corner in terms of quality.
The R-Class certainly felt and looked magnificent. I can't vouch for its long-term reliability but this is the first Mercedes for years in which I would be prepared to invest my own money.
Posh fantasy
That's assuming I had £40 000 or so to put towards a car. The price of the R-Class is where my posh fantasy begins to crumble. There are several seven-seater 4x4's that cost less and many five-seater estate cars that cost half that, which leaves the R-Class's sixth seat looking very expensive indeed.
An estate is also going to be a good deal easier to park: the R-Class is dauntingly long and rather unwieldy - and if you really want trouble parking, for a mere £1500 (R20 000) more you can choose a stretched version with 250mm extra wheelbase.
The R-Class is certainly going to confuse the anti-4x4 lobby, which is a good thing. It's based on Mercedes' conventional off-roader, the M-class, but has none of the "toff-roader" signifiers: there are no bull bars, chunky tyres or running boards and it rides as low as a sedan.
A true original
Yet it has permanent all-wheel drive, weighs as much as the Houses of Parliament and drinks about the same as that institution's Honourable Members.
For once the PR guff about "crossover this" and "niche that" which usually accompanies the launch of any new car that isn't a Ford Mondeo is true.
Like the gorgeous CLS "coupé/saloon", the sporty estate/MPV/all-wheel-drive R-Class is a true original and a triumph to boot.
- There are no plans at this stage to bring the R-Class to South Africa.