It's a Golf, Jim, but not as we know it. Low-slung, it looks like it's lurking, waiting to leap out and attack a prey much larger than itself.
In fact, the Volkswagen Scirocco is mostly about looks and then some handling, because performance-wise it won't give you much more than a Golf GTi.
Which is obvious, of course, seeing that it shares such a lot of its underpinnings. It's a Golf in a cute suit. No, call that a mean suit.
I don't care what some people say, the Scirocco is a really attractive car, with all the design niceties that Volkswagen and Audi, as sister companies, have come up with in recent times.
Looking at the car, I reckon would look good in just about any colour you could think of. Yes, it would even make pink look like the shade of choice for rugby forwards.
That said, however, I must confess the brilliant white in which the test car was dressed worked extremely well. This, from sombody who normally wouldn't touch a white car.
I've driven some outlandish vehicles and had my share of responses from other drivers but only a select few drew more attention than the Scirocco - and they weighed in at three or more times the price of this car.
Not that the Scirocco is in any way cheap. At R364 170 (as tested), I dare to say the Volkswagen is testing market resilience somewhat in the compact hatch segment - and even then it's at the top end of the luxury compact hatch territory.
Compact? Yes, despite the voluptuous width over the rear wheel arches.
Its low roofline and almost coupé-like rear window do not bode well for either head or leg rom in the rear, as you've probably guessed. Indeed, if this car is to be used as a family compact, said family should preferably not comprise strapping young Victor Matfields.
Let's say the Scirocco has a rear seat for the occasional short-distance passenger. But then, so what? Ideally, this is a one-person car anyway. It's sporty in a way the Golf just isn't any longer.
The Golf has just become too, er, proper. Nice enough, but some of the edge seems to be gone. And maybe, just maybe, this was the whole idea. With the GTi being more family orientated, the Scirocco is there to appeal to one's inner boy racer.
The Scirocco also comes with a suitably firm suspension, without being bone-jarring. This car will never wallow unless the shock absorbers are completely shot and somebody steals the springs.
DARING A RELATIVE TERM
With wheels set right out to the four corners of the car, the handling is nimble, too, rewarding an owner with some driving nous with some serious fun.
Added to this chassis you will find all the electronic goodies and gizmos available to modern higher-end cars, from stability control to driving modes and on and on.
If you are really daring and trust your driving, you may switch off several of these driver aids. But, as I always say, if these things work properly and are not too intrusive, let them be.
Daring is a relative term. Some people get their kicks switching off the wipers when it rains...
The test car's two-litre engine was nice enough, too, although one always had the feeling the chassis could take more. Don't get me wrong, you can quite happily get into serious enough trouble with this engine, boasting as it does additional breathing apparatus in the form of a turbocharger plus a supercharger.
It kicks out 147kW from 5100 to 6000rpm and a stout 280Nm from as low as 1700rpm right through to 5000rpm. But the throb of a V-engine would not have been amiss. Then again, to drive a really sporty four-cylinder without being a slouch and still get 8.7 litres/100km in an urban/open road mix isn't bad at all.
PARKING RADAR A VALUABLE AID
Living inside the Scirocco is a pleasant experience. Interior design is beautiful, the sporty seats a pleasure to sit in and for the people in the front seats there's enough room. Seeing out of the car is a bit of a challenge here and there, but hey, somewhere you have to make a bit of a sacrifice if you want to drive something so sexy.
The above-mentioned price included parking radar, adaptive chassis control, and a DynoAudio sound system. Under normal circumstances I would have skipped the park distance control but the way this car is designed, it's a valuable help in one's campaign not to ding one's rear fender.
The sound system stood up to some serious testing, such as with aKING and Van Coke Kartel at volume. The musical quality of Foto na Dans came through without a doubt, with the band's intricate instrumentation as clear as a bell.
No, it's not at all easy to drive this car sedately. It calls for the open road. But with the DSG gearbox, driving in traffic was quite easy, too, the shifts quick, light and at the right place when in automatic. The sport shift speaks for itself - it works.
Yes, I loved this car. Would I buy it? You bet - and the rear seat passengers will just have to take it on the, er, chin. Argus Motoring