Have you ever noticed how there are no pilots among Premier League footballers? That's a bit weird, given how rich they are and how popular flying is with rock stars, film stars and City boys.
You'd think being young, loaded and blessed with brilliant spatial skills would have footballers rushing for their wings but the only one I've ever heard of was Michael Owen buying a helicopter.
What's stopping the rest of them?
You could say they're too thick but I don't buy that. You don't have to be a genius to fly - I'm learning, after all. You could blame herd mentality: they all seem to have the same kind of cars, the same kind of wives - scared to stand out from the crowd? There's something in that but mainly it's because when you're flying a plane, no one can see you through the windscreen.
Let's face it, the one thing all footballers like is being noticed. They love those paparazzi shots where they're caught sticking their Selfridges bags in the back of the conspicuously double-parked car and, to make sure they're noticed, they always go for the biggest, most expensive motors on Earth: Hummers, Escalades, Bentleys, Ferraris.
It's all about status. So why do none of them drive a Rolls-Royce?
The planes thing I can live with but you'd think status-obsessed men on £100 000 a week would be all over the ultimate symbol of power, wealth and refinement. Becks has a Phantom out in LAbut I've never heard of a player in a Roller in the UK. It must be frustrating for Rolls-Royce because rival Bentley has been doing a roaring trade in Continental GT's to footballers.
And so we have the Rolls-Royce Ghost. Clearly designed to appeal to the GT crowd, this smaller, faster, lighter Rolls is set up to be far more of a driver's car than the chauffeur-orientated Phantom.
People called it the 'Baby Rolls' while it was in development but to me it still felt the size of a luxury cruise liner as I glided through the factory gates at Goodwood. First I headed down the road to the airfield where my training plane lives - the one pictured. It's great fun but I think I prefer the Ghost.
Let's start with the body. Only Rolls-Royce calls the front the "the prow" and the whole thing does have the feel of a yacht - the type with huge thrust and a billionaire on board.
QUALITY IS OUTSTANDING
Though part-assembled on the same German production line as BMW's 7 Series, everything that makes it a Roller happens at the clean, quiet Goodwood workshop. It takes 60 people 20 days and 2000 operations - fiddly jobs such as hand-welding the double front bulkhead (to keep engine noise out of the cabin) and then hand-sanding - until it's perfect.
The quality is astounding. If I can say "value for money" on a car that costs nearly £200 000, then this is it. The paint job takes seven days. The leather is from eight bulls guaranteed never to have bumped into a barbed-wire fence. Even the umbrellas in the doors are faultless.
For everything this car can do, the fascia is brilliantly simple: three large dials for speed, petrol and power reserve and next to them the best satnav and media system in any car I've tested. There's a head-up display, night-vision cameras, lane warning alert...
Seriously, it does everything but make you a cup of tea, and your passengers in the back could probably do that off their built-in drinks tables. You can certainly have a Champagne fridge installed. They've got TV's back there, plus the same vented seats as the driver, which blow hot or cold air under your bottom.
MOST POWERFUL ROLLS YET
At the back is a vast boot which, like the doors, opens electronically. The front has a gorgeous bonnet in bare metal (it's actually painted and lacquered to perfection) hiding a massive BMW V12... which brings me to the big difference between this and its bigger brother the Phantom: 0-100km/h in 4.7 seconds.
This is the most powerful Rolls-Royce yet made.
This is no Alan Sugar waft-machine, it's a sports car - better yet, a supercar. I reckon if you got rid of the 250km/h limit this thing could hit 320 with ease. The power just flows in like a jet plane. Corners can be taken so directly, as the settings in the car all but eliminate body roll. Get rid of the passengers and you can drop the air suspension into a sportier attitude and have some real fun - otherwise, it performs as any Rolls should do, with that patented glide.
This is the best new car I've yet tested for, including Ferraris, Astons, Lamborghinis. It's just a dream.
THE LORD, THE SECRETARY AND THE U-BOAT
I don't know what it would be like to own a Ghost but as I handed it back after my day's joyride I noticed the Spirit of Ecstasy disappearing back into its electronic recess and remembered the romantic story behind the silver statuette.
It involved a lord and his secretary who drowned in a German U-boat attack. Do things like that mean anything to footballers? I don't think so. Maybe that's why they shop elsewhere.
Their loss. For people with a soul for motoring, this is as good as it gets. - London Daily Mail
TECH SPEC
Price:
£192 500.
Engine:
6.6-litre V12 capable of 420kW/780Nm.
Top speed:
250km/h (limited).
Transmission:
Eight-speed auto.
Fuel consumption:
13.6 litres/100km.
CO2 emissions
317g/km
Standard:
19" alloy rims, stability control, brake control, cornering brake control, curve speed lLimiter, anti-roll stabilisation, intelligent air suspension, xenon headlights, rear lounge seat, four-zone aircon, deep-pile carpets, door-housed umbrellas, 600W 16-speaker sound system with 12.5GB memory.
Optional extras:
20" rims, silver satin bonnet, night vision, head-up display, cruise control with stop 'n go, camera system, brake intervention, satnav, sunroof, rear TV/DVD players, picnic tables, individual rear seating, ventilated seats, massage seats, rear cool box with integrated Champagne glasses.