Although not as physically visible as the violent nature of domestic abuse, financial abuse is “the lived experience of many South African women", says Charnel Collins, CEO of National Debt Advisors (NDA).
Psychologists say it is also a way narcissists use to gain control in a relationship: by creating financial dependency they make it difficult for the person to leave them.
Economic abuse is called a hidden form of abuse because partners themselves do not realise it is a form of abuse.
It is so rife, however, that it is seen as one of the leading causes of over-indebtedness among South African women.
Collins says signs you are being financially abused include that abusers:
– take out loans in your name;
– open an account using your name;
– make you stop working so you as unemployed person are dependent on them;
– force you to hand over your wages;
– rely on you to take care of the financial responsibilities of the household even though both partners are earning money.
Magauta Mphahlele, the CEO of the National Debt Mediation Association, says women could avoid being caught up in a financially abusive relationship by promoting a relationship that is financially healthy.
Mphahlele shares how women can promote a healthy financial relationship:
1. Be open about your finances and be specific about the financial goals you want to achieve. If your partner does not have the same expectations on how to save money, there will be a conflict in your relationship.
2. You and your partner need to have an understanding about each other’s debt and credit ratings. You also need to be honest about how much you spend and on what the money is spent on. This will prevent partners from putting each other in a bad credit situation.
3. Create a household budget together and be in agreement on who will contribute to what. You should also discuss with your partner any future likely changes in financial position and what that will mean for your financial relationship as well as your budget.
4. Never agree to sign a contract, share a financial product or agree to a joint credit card or bank account without consulting a financial adviser. A financial advisor can help you if there is a conflict or falling out.
5. You and your partner need to speak regularly about money, earnings and spending habits to have an open and honest relationship about finances
“Be wary of any resistance from your partner in not wanting to do this,” warns Mphahlele.
Seugnette van Wyngaard, Head of 1st for Women Insurance, says for many women, managing finances can be daunting, “but this is never an excuse to fully hand over this role to your partner and especially not when they are pressuring you to do this”.
“Independent access and control over your money should never be compromised,” she says.
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