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It's really sad, I know, but my mother and father never took me to the Castle of Good Hope as a child.
To add insult to this terrible predicament I never managed to go on any school outings to the aforementioned destination, either.
My first opportunity presented itself recently when the writers' group I'm part of planned a visit, and almost a dozen science fiction, fantasy and horror writers descended upon the location for an afternoon of exploration.
We Capetonians are so blasé about our city's castle. We drive past it without sparing the five-pointed structure a second glance yet once you enter its lion-guarded gates, it's like stepping into another world, and the whispers of our country's history beckon at the edge of your senses.
When Van Riebeek and the boys landed here in 1652 they had more urgent matters on their minds than building a permanent structure.
However, their mud-walled fort just wasn't "it" after a while, so when the Dutch colonists finally had a chance in 1666, they started work on the Castle of Good Hope, which was to be the civilian, administrative and military heart of the then Cape Colony.
The castle was completed in 1679 and features five prominent bastions.
The castle's moat was restored in 1992.
Although it still houses some military personnel, the castle also offers visitors a chance to see Iziko Museums' William Fehr collection and the Castle Military Museum, as well as a guided tour to some of the Castle of Good Hope's sights.
We started our visit by chilling out on the patio of The Goewerneur Restaurant, enjoying a few cold pints. The castle's walls are quite high and block out most of the city, allowing us views of just Table Mountain and the sky, while we watched the castle's grey Percherons sneak a nibble of grass before being hitched up to the carriage. These massive beasts are surprisingly nimble and gentle for their size, and seem to be quite happy with their day-job of transporting tourists through the Mother City.
At 2pm we saw a knot of touristy-looking people congregating across the swathe of green lawn, so we grabbed our things and ambled across.
It felt decidedly odd to play tourist in my own town, but I was making up for those missed opportunities from years ago.
What followed was a thought-provoking journey.
One of the highlights was discovering that the castle has a well at its heart. Dropping 8m into the ground, it provided fresh water for the castle's inhabitants and, if there had been a siege, would have, no doubt, been an important asset. A fountain, reconstructed from drawings, sports an ornate dolphin carving. This was something special the British had demolished during their occupation, which was only recently restored.
One of the main attractions for us was the brief stopover at the Castle of Good Hope's torture chamber, where our guide briefed us about the none-too-pleasant methods employed to extract confessions from criminals. We experienced for ourselves how dark "the hole" could become, an exercise later repeated in the old ammunition room, which only has 12 hours of breathable air, in case you were ever by mistake locked in there.
We also visited some of the old cells where soldiers and drunks were locked up for assorted misdemeanours. Many of the prisoners had, over the years, kept themselves amused by carving into the wooden doors, which have been preserved, keeping the stories alive long after the people have returned to dust. We walked along the bastions, trying hard to imagine how the waves would have broken against the castle's walls before the sea had been pushed back to create the Foreshore. So much has changed and is still changing here in Cape Town and the Castle of Good Hope holds many memories of bygone times.
We ran out of time quite soon, having precious little opportunity to fully appreciate the William Fehr collection or the Castle Military Museum. My advice, bank on spending a late morning running into a late afternoon and lunch at the restaurant here. There's loads to see and do and this is definitely a "must do" on any visitor's agenda.
Or, if you're Capetonian, there's still no reason not to take a day out to forget about the madness outside the Castle of Good Hope's walls while treating yourself to a day steeped in history. Adviser Entrance fee: Adults (R25), pensioners (SA citizens only: R15) and children/students (R10).
Contact: The Castle of Good Hope can be contacted during working hours: Monday to Friday, from 8am to 4pm on 021 787 1260.
Address: Darling and Buitenkant streets.
Opening hours: 9am to 4pm, Monday to Sunday. The Castle of Good Hope is closed on Christmas Day and New Year's Day.
Guided tours: These are available Monday to Saturday at 11am, noon and 2pm. The Key Ceremony: This takes place weekdays at 10am and noon.
Horse and carriage rides: Rides depart at 10.30am, 12.45pm and 2.45pm lasting about one hour. Booking is essential. Adults (R150), pensioners (R100) and children (R50). Bookings can be made at [email protected]
Upcoming events: The next military tattoo is set to take place on November 19 to 21.
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.castleofgoodhope.co.za