Most travellers my age avoid extreme sports in the same way that paranoid international travellers steer clear of sneezers and coughers, pigs and birds.
But when the Swaziland adventure weekend invitation came my way, I jumped at it lest someone spot me jogging on the age uphill I'm not quite ready to tackle.
Swaziland is that chunky bite out of South Africa's bottom, a mere mouthful of a country that has a lot to offer the post-election weary South African looking for a place to unwind.
Chilling is what Swaziland does best, and the Swazi people are how you wish South Africans could be - calm, serene, composed.
The cane-green countryside of Swaziland is studded with pale boulders that characterise the country.
Cows chew on the wide shoulders of the roads, goats hopscotch on dainty ankles over rocks and broken fences and Swazi women sit under the low branches of swaying trees and weave the round grass baskets.
Ezulweni Valley is the warm heart of Swaziland.
The hotels, lodges, golf courses, adventure and tourist attractions nuzzle the folds of the valley and it is here that we were hosted in the Royal Swazi Spa for a weekend of adventure.
The hotel is cradled in the bottom of the valley and surrounded by the Mdzimba mountains that form a verdant backdrop.
If your memory of a motorcycle is tied to your first boyfriend's ankle-burning 50cc, then a getting on a quad-bike will banish that gauche memory.
Getting on to a quad is like mounting a low, wide horse that vibrates.
These four-wheelers have torque that will send you soaring up the hills of the Devil's Cauldron where quad-bikers go to get their mud-spattered adrenalin fix.
Quad-biking is all in the upper body. Your wrists need to be especially strong to control the bike as it powers around hairpin corners and brakes down steep, slippery hills.
The Royal Swazi Hotel poolside is an ideal place to relax rattled wrists and balance-weary ankles by floating in either the warm pool or the heated jacuzzi in the tender glow of an amber African afternoon.
The poolside bar offers refreshments and light meals to guests, against the spectacular mountainous setting. The Mantenga Falls Cocktail is a guaranteed pick-me-upper.
Early morning in Swaziland is crisper than the grass the wandering cows break off at the roots. The pine forests shimmer in the silvery morning light, yet even at the earliest hour the African aroma of wood burning carries on the air, reliable as the bird-chatter greeting the day.
Cattle complain in the distance. Off the beaten track, pink dust blooms and small stones drum against the bottom of the minibus.
On the banks of the Usutu River, the white-water rafting participants are given pre-rafting training by experienced guide Bheki, who has the upper body of an Olympic paddler.
My own upper body is trapped in a mammogram machine of a life-jacket; a guide loosens it but I am sorry later when I go overboard and the jacket slips up over my head.
White-water rafting taught me some things I didn't particularly care to learn - that your legs do stick up in the air when you're upended out of your dinghy and that water flowing at 5km/h is exhausting to wade through.
Sandbanks are another treacherous river hazard - not so much getting stuck on them but wading through them because there are nasty sinkholes that swallow your leg from ankle to knee with one swift gulp. You don't know when they're going to happen and you have no control over them.
Once you're overboard, rocks bash your body as you churn through the washing-machine turbulence, and the lesson about adopting the foetal position so that your fleshy rump hits the rocks is forgotten as you struggle to see through the buckle of your lifejacket that is now around your ears.
The spa massage is the salve to my bruised ego and, surprisingly, my body has no dents or scratches.
The masseuse dribbles warm oil on my back and eases the tension from my muscles, sending me home in a much more relaxed state than when I arrived.
- For hotel reservations, call Sun International in Johannesburg at 011 780 7800 or The Royal Swazi Spa at 00268 416 5000.
For activity bookings with Swazi Trails, call 00268 416 2180.