Happily grabbing all offers

Published Jan 21, 2009

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Never decline an offer is my motto - because not everyone is on the make or take. So when an American man riding a motorcycle through the streets of Hanoi stopped and asked why I was walking in an area not normally frequented by tourists, and suggested he take me to see a side of the city which tourists never penetrate, I did not spurn the offer.

It meant perching amid an array of pipes he was delivering, but somehow I settled myself and we ducked and weaved - dodging the shifting pipes - as we wound our way down some seedy back streets delivering the wares.

Eventually we stopped at a food hall frequented by Vietnamese men who gawked at this forward Western woman invading their domain. The American duly delivered me back to my hotel . . . much to the alarm and disgust of the conservative travellers.

On another occasion a travel companion and I, sitting at a restaurant in Greece, were asked by two local men why we had not joined the rest of our group who had gone shopping.

We told them we preferred to soak in the local scene - at which they invited us to attend a wedding reception that night. They said they were the sponsors for the groom at an arranged wedding to an older woman. We thought this would be rather fun . . . and it was.

At first everyone sat around stiffly, watching the two "intruders", but eventually an old man wandered across and asked me to dance. The ice was broken and the jollifications commenced. His energy was unflagging - putting the younger men to shame - and for the rest of the night he was my dance partner, at times approaching me with a rose clenched between his teeth, and a gesture towards the dance floor.

Towards the end of the evening one of the men who had invited us to the reception spoke to me. "You better think carefully how you respond to this one, but the bride wants to talk to you. I will translate," he told me.

The bride, who came from a rural village in the mountains (while her groom was a more sophisticated young man from the city - though I never did establish how they came to be betrothed) told me her husband was fascinated by how I had danced with his uncle (the old man). He wanted me to accompany them on honeymoon. As she wanted to keep him happy, she would be pleased if I would accept.

This required some quick thinking and tact. "I am flattered and would be delighted to accept," I said. "Unfortunately, I have to catch a plane back to South Africa tomorrow."

As this was translated, the bride looked vastly relieved. She had done her duty by her new husband, and had tried to please him, but would obviously not have welcomed a companion to their new conjugal bliss.

For his part the groom looked disappointed, but thanked his bride for her understanding, with a warm kiss on the cheek.

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