Remove all your clothes now please." The request came, very softly, from the Thai woman about to administer our treatments in Jordan's most luxurious spa-hotel.
Unfortunately, there was only one treatment room left. I waited for my new (and platonic) acquaintance, a 108kg Welshman, to explain the situation to her. There was a long pause.
The Kempinski Hotel Ishtar does full justice to its site on the banks of arguably the planet's most spectacular natural spa, the Dead Sea. The reception area, as big as an airport terminal, sets the tone. Staff greet you with iced towels and cold drinks as soon you step in from the heat outside. It's got form, too: King Herod himself once visited the Herodus Spring just down the road to be treated for a skin complaint.
The hotel may not be quite that historic, but its spa is wonderful nevertheless. Having managed successfully to communicate to our attendants that we were not quite comfortable stripping in front of each other, the Welshman and I were directed into separate changing rooms, each armed with a gown and what looked like a hairnet but turned out to be a skimpy undergarment.
I emerged, wriggled under a carefully positioned towel, then lay back to be kneaded with, covered by, and basically slow-roasted in the finest beauty product the Dead Sea offers: mud. Lots of it, and glorious it is, too.
Yet Jordan's biggest tourist attraction has never been its sludge. The strongest draw is Petra. A century before the birth of Christ, the Nabateans cornered the market in incense, and used the profits to build a miraculous classical city in a desert wilderness. The city was hewn out of rose sandstone hills, and became a hub of Middle Eastern trade in ts glory days under King Aretas IV, from 8BC to AD40.
Petra could be about to become one of the seven "new" wonders of the world. New 7 Wonders of the WorldFoundation has shortlisted 21 sites, and solicited online votes. Polling has closed, and the winners will be revealed in Lisbon.
(Clearly, the chance to reveal something on the seventh day of the seventh month in 2007 was too great to resist.)
Whether or not Petra makes the final seven, Jordan remains a wondrous destination for anyone seeking a combination of awe-inspiring historical sites, breathtaking scenery and world-class pampering.
The King's Highway, one of Jordan's three main north-south routes, runs from the capital, Amman, to Petra. The desert here is dotted with smoke rising from distant phosphate mines.
The odd camel wanders nearby, and goats herded at the side of the road complete the biblical picture, in contrast to the billboards advertising Motorola and Pantene. The route connects some of the country's key historical attractions: Mount Nebus, from where Moses is believed to have spotted the Promised Land; the Crusader castle at Karak; and the town of Madaba, with its sixth-century mosaic map of the Holy Land in St George's Church.
Created in AD560, the map is particularly striking. Although only one-third of it survives, it remains a fairly recognisable representation of the lie of the land.
Your eye is immediately drawn to the detail used to depict Jerusalem: the colonnaded street through the middle of the city, the city walls and gates, and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in the north-eastern quarter.
We travelled on to the Rummana campsite, part of the Wadi Dana nature reserve, where we were due to spend the night. The reserve was taken over by Jordan's Royal Society for the Conservation of Nature in 1993, with the aim of promoting ecotourism, protecting wildlife and improving the lives of local villagers.
It's a base for hiking in the area and also serves as an alternative to the tourist town of Wadi Musa from which to visit Petra, an hour's drive away. Dinner here consisted of a traditional buffet of locally picked olives, houmous, tabbouleh, whole chickpeas, chicken, rice, flattened bread and yogurt dips.
Fuelled only by "Bedouin beer" (heavily sweetened mint tea) we still managed to stay up until the early hours sharing jokes with our local guide.
We set off early from the camp to reach Petra. Expert hydraulic engineers, the Nabataeans built a system of dams, cisterns and water channels to protect and supply their city.
Throughout the site, you can still see water channels cut into the side of the rock face and the original clay pipes they used. Petra's trademark site, the Treasury, is iconic in the way that Machu Picchu and the Taj Mahal are, but it's still breathtaking the first time you see it for real.
The only passageway into Petra from the visitors' centre is through a dramatic 1,2km-long chasm, the Siq, created from a single block of rock torn apart by vast geological forces. After about half an hour of winding around its swirling rock formations, I got my first glimpse of the Treasury through a small opening in the rocks.
We spilled out and craned our necks to take in its full height and width. Measuring over 40m tall and 30m wide, this marvel was hand-carved from the rock face 2 000 years ago. A right turn after the Treasury opened up the Street of Facades: over 40 gaping holes - tombs and houses - cut into the red cliffs. Nearby are the Royal Tombs and the Urn Tomb, with its ceiling of orange, black and pink rock.
To get the full scale of the site (and some peace and quiet, away from other visitors) I declined the offer of a donkey and made my way on foot up the 800 roughly carved steps to the Al-Deir Monastery, puffing past Bedouins touting their wares from under shaded tents.
At the top, feeling slightly giddy and exhilarated from the climb, my reward was a stunning view of Petra's largest and most impressive façade. Built in the third century BC as a tomb, it is called a "monastery" because of crosses inside, which suggest that it might later have been used as a church. The façade is topped by a huge urn, the only point of Al-Deir that can be seen from below.
An hour's drive from Petra is the red desert landscape of Wadi Rum. Described by T E Lawrence in his Seven Pillars of Wisdom as "vast, echoing and Godlike", it's now a protected area, so tourists must make arrangements through the visitors' centre. We hurtled across the dunes in 4x4s, rushing to catch the sun before it set behind the rust-coloured mountains. There is certainly an eerie and majestic quiet throughout the desert, reminding you how very little manages to survive in such harsh conditions.
By the time the full moon had begun to light up the dunes, we'd been whisked away to our lodgings for the night: a Bedouin camp run by Mzied, a local guide. We had the option of staying in the large and comfortable communal tent or out in the open. I opted for the tent, the only downside being the sleeping habits of the camp's resident camel, tied up just outside.
In any case, the night was warm and sleeping any later than 5am proved difficult, as the light began to creep across the desert again.
From Wadi Rum we travelled back up the road on the border with Israel, up to the Dead Sea Highway and onwards to my spa date with the Welshman.
The Kempinski seems more like a small principality than just a place to sleep; it has no fewer than nine different pools to choose from.
Slightly overawed by the size and luxury of it all, I popped down to the beach for a dip in the Dead Sea. It's a weird experience: if you submerge, the high salt content of the water means bits of you bob up to the surface immediately, uncontrollably and rather ungracefully.
And it makes every minor graze, blemish and nick sting like crazy. Just remember: if it hurts this much, it must be good for you. Unless it goes in your eye, of course.
After the swim, more mud. I treated myself to a bit more of the local goo, handily provided on the beach in pots. Whether beautiful Jordanian or pasty Brit, basting yourself in dark grey slime and drying it in the sunshine is a great leveller.
As I cooked myself rigid, I didn't care what I looked like. The Original Spa had left me feeling really rather relaxed.
Traveller's guide
- Getting there
The writer flew from Heathrow to Amman with Royal Jordanian (020-7878 6300; rj). BMed flies the same route on behalf of BA (0870 850 9850; BA). Regional departures are available with airlines such as Air France (0870 142 4343; Air France) via Paris.
To reduce the impact on the environment, you can buy an "offset" from Equiclimate (0845 456 0170; ebico) or Pure (020-7382 7815; Pure).
- Staying there
Kempinski Hotel Ishtar Dead Sea (00 962 5 356 8888; Kempinski Hotel Ishtar Dead Sea ). Doubles start at 182 Jordanian dinar. Dead Sea spa treatments start at JD30 . Radisson SAS Hotel Amman (00 962 6 560 7100; Radisson SAS Hotel Amman). Doubles start at JD127, including breakfast. Rummana Campsite, Dana Nature Reserve (00 962 6461 6523; rscn.org.jo). Tents for two start at JD33, including breakfast. Mzied's Camp, Wadi Rum (00 962 777 304 501; Mzied). Desert camping tours start at JD40 per person per night, full board.
- Eating and drinking there
Wild Jordan Café, Dana Nature Reserve (00 962 6461 6523; rscn.org.jo).
- Visting there
Admission to Petra is JD21 per day.
- More information
UK citizens require a visa to visit Jordan. Single-entry visas, valid for a month, can be obtained on arrival at any port of entry for JD10 (about R100).
The Foreign and Commonwealth Office (0845 850 2829; fco.gov.ukadvises: "There have been a number of successful and attempted terrorist attacks in Jordan since 2001. On 4 September 2006, a shooting incident in downtown Amman left one British national dead and a number of other tourists injured. On 9 November 2005, three suicide bombers killed 60 people and injured almost 100 in hotels in Amman. There were no British casualties amongst these. The Jordanian security forces continue to remain on a state of alert."
Jordan Tourism Board: 020-7371 6496;
Jordan Tourism BoardFor more information on The New 7 Wonders of the World, visit New 7 Wonders of the World