Sailing on the Crystal Serenity - dubbed the "best cruise ship in the world" by Conde Nast Traveler turned out to be a once-in-a-lifetime, experience.
Friends and family were envious for weeks. Crystal Cruises has been voted the world's top large-ship cruise line for 14 years (11 consecutively), and has garnered awards such as World's Best Service, Best Cruise Line, and Best Food, to name just a few.
The respected Berlitz and Fielding guides to cruising have awarded Crystal Cruises a remarkable five, and six stars, respectively.
The prospect of rubbing shoulders with the uber-rich who sail Crystal Serenity was exciting and just a little intimidating. What would the butler in our penthouse suite (with private verandah, nogal) think of my humble Green Cross shoes after years of sprucing up the rich and famous Guccis? And would I ever be able to persuade my lovely wife to step out of the Jacuzzi tub in our stately room?
The moment we embarked at Lisbon and stepped into the ship's opulent Crystal Plaza foyer, all apprehension departed. This will do nicely, I thought.
Charming young Danielle Ferreira handled our check-in as if we were Mr and Mrs Bill Gates, ignoring my battered camera case, facial stubble and bleary eyes from the overnight flight - and obvious sheer bewilderment at the stunning decor and furnishing of the Crystal Plaza.
Our penthouse was on the very prestigious - and expensive - 10th floor. Later, as the cruise progressed, a closet snob I never knew emerged. I barely suppressed condescending sneers every time a millionaire fellow-passenger pressed the elevator button for a lower floor. Except for the time an American lady asked: "Ya wanna see ma new bracelet?" and flashed a dazzling Bellarri showpiece, just bought on board, at me. She got off at the 7th floor
Awaiting us in our penthouse was a teak-floored private verandah; enormous bed with Egyptian cotton linens; mini-bar with complimentary wine, beer and soft drinks; Villeroy & Boch china, Riedel crystal, flat-screen TV, DVD and CD players. The spacious stateroom also had a sleeper couch, dressing area, and walk-in wardrobe with Frette bathrobes and slippers.
Also awaiting us in our penthouse was our butler, Samir Abdallah, a genial Egyptian attired in bowtie and tails, who introduced Irina and Annie, our two smiling stewardesses. Samir told us that he had spent 29 years on ships - "I love the sea. There's no island I haven't seen. I can't leave the sea, and that's why I am divorced," he confided with no trace of regret at abandoning the matrimonial ship. Samir spoke perfect English.
Throughout the cruise, our butler was the epitome of respectful efficiency. He was there with seafood canapes (huge chunks of crab and prawns) two or three minutes after it was ordered, ensured that my wife had a non-stop supply of organic herbal tea, that I had a non-stop supply of Heineken, and pointed out - in the most disarmingly reproachful manner - that getting up late in Gibraltar deprived us of dolphin sightings before docking
Our ports of call on the Med cruise were Gibraltar, Barcelona, and the French Riviera before disembarking in Rome. At each of the destinations, Crystal Serenity had arranged either comprehensive city tours in luxury buses, or free shuttle transport to take us to a central point in the cities.
Every night, the attractions of the next day's destination and programme of events on board, listed in detail (together with a condensed version of world news) awaited us at our cabin door.
The entertainment offered on board was excellent throughout and, on the two days cruising at sea, mind-boggling. Sailing to Barcelona, the day's programme, for example, included:
- A demonstration by master chef, Andre Soltner, of the French Culinary Institute;
- A lecture by US Army Colonel Ralf Vargas on "NATO - a necessary alliance?"
- A presentation by Broadway theatre producer, Steven Rivellino
- Complimentary wine tasting by the ship's head sommelier
- The Avenue of the Stars fashion show;
- Mozart High Tea, with waiting staff in baroque uniform and classical musical trio in attendance;
- A tour of the galley, taking passengers behind the scenes in the ship's kitchen;
- Lessons on keyboard, watercolours, golf, paddle tennis, computerised photo enhancement, bridge, French, dancing, needlepoint, table tennis, fitness classes
On the subject of food, Crystal Serenity offers five breakfast and lunch options; and a staggering seven for dining.
My favourites for daytime meals were the almost overwhelming array of buffet fare for breakfast at The Lido deck perched above the ocean, and The Bistro with its wonderful array of French-style pastries, cheeses and coffee. The dining options included Silk Road, the renowned Sushi chef, Nobu Matsuhisa's quite extraordinary restaurant; Prego, with its excellent Italian-inspired dishes; the Vintage Room, for wine-theme private dinners; and informal poolside dining at both Trident Bar & Grill, and Tastes.
After-dinner shows in the impressive array of entertainment venues on board were of an exceptionally high standard. On stage were the likes of renowned concert pianist, Naki Ataman who - apart from his formidable keyboard skills - is Turkey's international Goodwill Ambassador; American violinist, Miriam Kramer; British concert pianist, Nick Durcan; and West End singer, Philippa Healey. Under the astute guidance of cruise director, Gary Hunter, the artists' repertories were suited to the varying musical tastes on board.
Apart from the amazing stability of the 69 000 tonne ship, perhaps the most memorable aspect of the cruise was the quite superb service on board.
In the main dining room, our table was constantly surrounded by what felt like at least half a dozen young men and women from all corners of the world, who obviously had received training of the highest order. In The Bistro, the waiting staff remembered the way we liked our cappuccino on just the second morning of the cruise. In Scoop's Ice Cream bar, the attendant would ask: "May I mix the flavours like yesterday, sir?"
With a broad smile always a smile. Throughout the cruise, I cannot recall a single staff member passing me anywhere on the ship, without a friendly greeting.
There is a distinct air of dignity to Serenity. While the many other cruise liners we encountered had enormous TV screens on the top decks and blared out public announcements - or were just plain noisy - Serenity was well, serene. Never a public announcement (passengers have the printed daily news as source of information, after all) and the ship always sailed to the restrained, uplifting sounds of Out to Sea and Satchmo singing the inspirational What a Wonderful World.
But, you might say, who can - with the South African rand - afford such top of the range cruises? Well, hefty 50 percent discounts currently apply on some 2008 Med cruises and, paging through next year's Crystal Serenity cruise catalogue, I spotted that, with early booking discounts, you could buy a 2009 seven-day cruises in exotic places for around R19 000 with port, transfer and security tariffs included. That's about R2 700 a day. And remember, once on board, you pay only for liquor and optional extras.
I overheard a Japanese gent chatting to an American he met on board: "Back home, we believe we go to heaven. Our money stays behind in the bank. That's why I am sailing here today "
And indeed on one of the walls of the Crystal Plaza, there is a roll of honour, listing passengers who have already sailed Serenity on more than 100 cruises in the less than five years since she was launched. It just goes to prove: cruising on Crystal Serenity is addictive.
- For more information or to take advantage of 2008 Mediterranean sailings visit the website at www.crystalcruises.com or telephone the offices of Cruises International on 011 327 0327.
- Jan de Beer and his wife were guests of Crystal Cruises.