The problem with taking a shower at 40 000 feet is that while you’re standing there, enjoying the marvel of it all, you can’t help but wonder what people would think should the worst happen and you’re found on the ground in nothing but your birthday suit.
But once you get over this, it really is quite a marvel to have access to a full-on bathroom on an aeroplane – very rock star. It’s one of the many privileges you get when flying first class on the Emirates A380, and though you’re sharing the bathroom facility with fellow first class passengers, the air hostesses book a time slot for you and spruce it up between passengers (using something called microfibre cleaning technology).
All kinds of questions go through your mind beforehand – will the water pressure be fine, will it be hot enough, what happens if halfway through we hit turbulence. But the system works perfectly. The bathroom itself would put most Formula 1 hotels to shame in size alone, not to mention the five-star fit and finish (it’s called a Shower Spa). Expect heated flooring, an LCD screen with flight info and two ranges of herbal products – which includes shampoos, conditioners, shower gels, body peelers and moisturisers. There are also toothbrushes and shaving kits, a hairdryer and towels.
But forget a long leisurely shower. There’s a little time indicator next to the shower marked in percentages to show you how much water you have left. It will pause when you’re down to a minute, which is a warning really to get all that great smelling herbal shampoo out of your hair. There’s also a bench in the shower and a warning light should turbulence arise. But the water pressure was good, the temperature as hot as you could possibly want and the shower duration long enough to enjoy the experience. Upon exiting the bathroom, there’s a small rest area which serves as a first class passenger bar at night and converts into a detox tea area later in the flight, complete with mood lighting and a small water feature.
Your first class seat on the A380 is another experience altogether. For starters, you get a suite, complete with Do Not Disturb indicators – like in a hotel room. And it is more hotel room than aircraft, actually. Think desk lamp; desk drawer with stationery; big LCD television; cosmetic counter with lit-up mirror (and cosmetics); dedicated personal bar area (pre-stocked); mattress for your seat with pillows and a duvet; and complimentary pyjamas and slippers. It’s also quite a technological marvel with everything controlled from a huge remote panel. Which, besides entertainment options, includes the massaging and lie-flat seat and the electric cabin doors – which slide closed for privacy. Even the window blinds are electric, with separate switches.
And you get a personal wardrobe to hang your coat and store the bag which you’d normally put in the overhead locker.
The menu and wine list, as can be expected, is as over the top as the rest of the experience. The highlight is that, though themed, you’re not completely restricted when ordering – you can create a sandwich (at any time, obviously) from listed ingredients, or fine-tune your main order a little. And you can pick up the phone and call “room service” to place an order. But before having dinner, take a walk to business class and treat yourself to a glass of French bubbly from the full-on bar – complete with leather couches (and seatbelts) for chatting to mates. Emirates call it The Lounge. Or go to the much smaller standing bar at the front of first class, near the bathrooms.
Those of you who have travelled with Dubai’s national carrier will be familiar with ICE, the airline’s wicked entertainment system, and you’ll know that there’s a limitless amount of old and new movies and music, for various markets. With the superb TV and headphones in first class, this seriously cuts into your sleeping time.
The secret, then, is to splash out on a seat like this when you’re flying for a very, very long time. After showering, checking out the bar, having dinner and watching a movie, I had but four hours to enjoy the bed-like comfort of my seat on the Dubai-Joburg leg. The only issues were that my size of PJs had already been allocated to other passengers and my remote panel’s battery went flat – which a quick re-docking sorted out. And be warned, if you’re from the BBC (Born Before Computers) era, you will battle to get to grips with all the touch-screen electronics.
At R37 000 on average from Dubai to Joburg (R56 800 return) it’s certainly not the cheapest way to fly, but I challenge you to find a more luxurious way – outside of private flying that is. - Saturday Star