On hearing I was a guest on the world's largest ocean liner, the questions have been fairly standard: "So, what was it like? Was it really big? What did you do all day?"
It's easier to answer the second. Yes, it was really big, and yes, you get a sense of the size and scale of the ship when you're standing on the 18th deck looking down into the waves. Billed as the biggest ship in the world, the Royal Caribbean line's Oasis of the Seas is 360m long and 65m wide. It incorporates "Central Park" which is a 100m of tropical greenery.
There's a boardwalk, an indoor shopping arena, and enough statistics to boggle the mind. Here are a few: the Oasis of the Seas has room for more than 5 400 guests plus 2 000 crew. The main Opal theatre seats 1 380. And yet there was no crowded Saturday mall feeling. People were around at all hours, even at 3am on the last morning when we'd whiled away the hours in Dazzles nightclub, but there was no sense of "Get me off, I need some alone time!"
So yes, the Oasis is bigger than any other cruise liner in service and it does offer a larger-than-life, bling-bling experience of cruising.
What was it really like? Let's start with boarding. I'd been invited on a pre-inaugural sailing, along with an astonishing number of media from around the world, as well as those in the travel trade, and other regular guests of Royal Caribbean. Our small group of South African media arrived somewhat bleary-eyed after the 14-hour flight from Johannesburg to Atlanta, with a connecting flight to Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where the ship is docked.
Check-in in a vast hangar-like space is remarkably quick and hassle-free. You're issued with a "sail pass" card with name and your cabin number and the time of your dinner seating.
This sail pass gives you access to your cabin and obviates the need to carry cash while using the ship's facilities. If you want, say, a spa treatment, for instance, you just sign a paper and swipe your card. At the end of the cruise you again swipe your card as you disembark, and whatever luxuries you've indulged in will simply come off your credit card or whichever piece of plastic you've chosen to dent.
My cabin overlooked the park, with sliding doors opening on to a dinky balcony. On a previous cruise I had been assigned an inside cabin, and didn't enjoy the experience.
While I spent very little time in my cabin - sleeping, showering and changing seemed to be the extent of my experience - if you're planning on any amount of alone time you will want a view, whether it's a porthole or a balcony view of the park or the sea. And there's nothing to beat a sea view.
Several staterooms were open for viewing on this pre-inaugural cruise and there really is something to be said for stretching out on deck with just you and the ocean breeze.
My own stateroom satisfied, however: the double-glazed balcony cut out most noise and offered a view. There was just one early evening when I had managed to finally sleep away my jetlag when bagpipes started up in some Scottish-themed fun event at dusk, and I admit I was a little grumpy. The double glazing didn't cut that one out.
There were special touches that seemed to emphasise that I was on board the world's most just-out-of-the box ship: a plasma TV screen, and a nice one this, rounded corners to the luxurious double bed so you don't bang yourself in the dark. A small couch area and dressing table complete the picture. And the bathroom is your standard one, and if you're not a shower person you'd have to shell out for a loft house suite for a bath.
Speaking of which - if you are plumping for one of the suites, you'd be getting more than just a bath. I toured the suites with a fellow journo, and our mouths dropped open. We're talking double-volume suites which boast lounge and dining room area on one level, floor-to-ceiling windows, and an ultra-modern staircase leading to a bedroom that overlooks the living area. The Royal Loft suite even includes a grand piano. I particularly enjoyed posing for photographs on the balcony of the Crown Loft suite, the sea a dizzying 18 decks down.
Life on board ship quickly assumes a rhythm and routine, no matter how brief the cruise. Breakfast was taken at a rather leisurely morning hour - one morning in the Solarium, whose humid atmosphere was a little much for me.
I preferred the Windjammer Marketplace, which is found on every Royal Caribbean liner, a vast, casual self-service restaurant where I had more than my fair share of smoked salmon and tea-time cakes in the afternoons. It's open all day, so if casual dining is what you prefer, as I did, head to the top deck and enjoy the 360-degree views of the ocean.
They say the average cruiser gains more than a few kilos on a cruise, but that's a statistic you can put paid to. There's a state-of-the-art spa and fitness centre, as well as a daily roster of activities to get you moving. You can join a jogging group at six or seven in the morning, a line dance class in the middle of the day or go for kinesis group training mid-afternoon.
And, of course, you can simply go solo on the track, walking or running. Or, finally learn to surf. One late afternoon, I watched as wanna-be surfers tried their hand in the pool and sports zone in a special foam-padded wave pool called the Flow Riders.
I also listened to the screeches of delight as adventurous souls zip-lined their way across the ship. Don't stop there: you can also learn to rock climb.
I did stop there, though, as I like my entertainments rather more sedate, if listening to an Abba tribute show can be counted as sedate. Tired from crossing the Atlantic, and several time zones, we piled into the grand and enormous Opal Theatre. Blame it on jetlag but Abba tributes have to be really good to cut through the travel exhaustion.
On the second night we watched an ice show in Studio B featuring scenes from various fairytales put to music, Frozen in Time, as well as a sand drawing performance that was mesmerising to watch.
On one of the tours put on for the media contingents on board, I watched a rehearsal of Hairspray, which is a first at sea - a real live Broadway musical. But, after dinner, other entertainment options are available. You can choose to gamble, catch stand-up comedy at the comedy club or take in a few sets of jazz.
Or you can watch the floating bar float between floors. Bling bling was never this jaw-droppingly fun.
Dinner is a grand affair in the Opus dining room. There's something enormously satisfying about playing dress-up while on a cruise, and you can't help wishing there were just a few more places where you could don your finery and sparkly shoes back home. There are two seatings an evening, at 6.30 and 8.45, and we were assigned the later seating. Suited my Spanish genes just fine. Food ranged from pastas, skewers of seafood complete with scallops which you can't get in southern waters, fillets and a Caesar salad that we just couldn't get enough of. Night after night, we ordered it as a starter.
There are also a number of speciality restaurants on board, but these weren't yet open on our sailing.
However, there is a separate cover charge at these restaurants.
By day we snacked on a variety of pizzas. The blue cheese one was worth going back for.
The cupcakes at the world's first cupcake shop were either finished every time I wanted one, or were abundant every time I was full up to the gills.
Wandering through Central Park, we investigated a typical New York deli, eating roast beef on rye, sitting in brightly-coloured booths and feeling just about as though we were in the centre of the Big Apple.
A walk back to the promenade brought us to yet another space. The world's first carousel at sea spun adults and kids merrily around.
We tried and discarded a number of doughnuts. Lurid green lime icing doesn't taste as good as it looks. And neither, apparently, do corn dogs, which some of our party tried at yet another stand.
The atmosphere on the promenade was joyous, fun ... well, we really were at the seaside, although of course there wasn't a beach for miles around. Rock climbers ascended the rock walls, the Seafood Shack emitted seafood smells and had a seemingly endless queue.
We could have chosen to have an air-brushed tattoo or eat a hamburger at Johnny Rockets. Rehearsals for the Aqua Theatre were in full progress and we watched as acrobats dived, spun and plunged. On our final night we were going to be treated to a show at the Aqua Theatre - yet another first at sea.
What else did you do? I visited the spa, having a hair treatment, with prices just a little beyond what you'd pay in a Joburg or Cape Town salon.
The Vitality Spa offers a variety of treatments, all of which you would expect: facials, massages, reflexology, dermal filler treatments, waxing, and even tooth whitening treatments.
Shopping is slightly limited - after all, you are at sea. But you can still stock up on branded T-shirts, luxury leather bags, beauty products, liqueurs and other alcohols. Shipboard photographers are on hand seemingly 24/7 to snap you. But be warned that this is a pricey option.
We trooped through the Youth Zone - adults not allowed - but well, we had to look, didn't we? Here teens and tweens can play video games, or simply lounge around, as adolescents tend to do. It's their own special place and certainly appealed to the kid in me.
On our final night, Thanksgiving, the Opus restaurant served a special Thanksgiving meal, complete with pumpkin pie, turkey, stuffing, the works. While more ordinary fare was available, it was a chance to take part, however marginally, in this great American holiday.
And then it was time finally to watch the first performance in the Aqua Theatre. This is the world's first "theatre" at sea, and was enthusiastically spoken about and explained, and yet we needed to see it to appreciate the scale of what has been achieved.
It features a pool which can be adjusted to nearly six metres into which the performers and acrobats plunge, sail on, and perform water ballet and synchronised swimming against a backdrop of lights and music. Fountain shows with coloured lights complete a rather magical, fairytale series of performances.
We ended the cruise at Dazzles, one of the nightclubs that perfectly matched the bling-bling, slightly decadent atmosphere on board. As a 1980s-themed night segued into the present, we let rip, dancing to I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Pies, the feel-good lyrics echoing a sense of cheer rendered by our days on board ship, insulated from a world of cares and stresses: "Round and round/up and down/ around the clock clock clock clock ... got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good good night".
Indeed.