Johannesburg - It’s just on midnight and as we break out of the rock walls of the fjords and into the open sea the sun finally loses its fight against the night and slips below the horizon.
But, even then, it’s no meek surrender… and a soft golden twilight lingers over a rippled sea. It’s a reminder that in just four hours, the sun will be up again.
Out there it is the North Sea and Norway but here, in the Viking Crown Lounge, at the very top of Royal Caribbean’s 78 000 ton Vision of the Seas cruise ship, it’s Wednesday Night (I think) Fever as the disco lights whirl and swirl and the Bee Gees are “ah, ah, ah, ah stayin’ a-live...”
On the dance floor, there are happy people – some Israeli, some American, some European – letting their hair down (in a controlled mature way, you understand) and having fun. Some Latino women show the Anglos how to really do the Macarena as Brit doctor Martin and I (wallflowers at the school dance) look on.
As we glide through the wonderland of the Midnight Sun, comfortably cushioned by the unusually calm waters and the ship’s computer-controlled stabilisers, the Boogie Wonderland continues.
And while I sip my Heineken and Martin and I chat I realise that, amazingly, I am really enjoying the whole experience.
Amazingly? Well, up until now I have always been something of a cruise cynic or, at the very least, a sceptic. Conditioned more by images of The Love Boat than by the Costa Concordia, I have always felt that cruising is a somewhat artificial way to see the world, a gathering place for desperate divorcees or jolly geriatrics.
But, cruising was one of the tourism industries least affected by the world economic downturn and in South Africa it is positively booming – apart from the tens of thousands who cruise our southern African waters, more of us are opting to cruise to see the world. I haven’t, up to now, been one of them – and, to be honest, have sent other journalists on cruise trips in my place.
But you cannot honestly write about travel and ignore one of its biggest phenomena.
So here I am, in a disco inferno just a degree or two south of the Arctic Circle.
Travelling by yourself, I have felt, is the way to really “feel” a country and its culture.
That view, I now realise, is the rose-tinted one. When I put my mind to it, I remember the down side of DIY travel: rushing to catch crowded public transport; trudging all around a city you don’t know; meeting incomprehensible waiters who serve you dreadful food and expect you to pay the earth.
Then, while self-driving can be fun and flexible, you forget the huge fuel prices (especially in Europe), driving on the “wrong” side of narrow roads and the near absence of parking in the higgledy-piggledy city centres.
That’s why, for me, there are two types of travel: a tour or a holiday. On the former, you see and experience a lot but, because you’re under varying degrees of stress all the time, you don’t really appreciate it – and need a holiday when you get back. A holiday, on the other hand, is just that: a chance to relax and watch the world go by.
Those who love cruising – and the agents who sell cruises – will tell you that going by sea is the only way to have the best of both worlds.
I have a few friends who are into cruising in a big way: they cruise once or twice a year and have seen the world, from the Mediterranean to Alaska.
When I asked one of them what she sees in it, her answer was simple: you just unpack once.
Think about that for a moment. A cruise ship is your transport, your accommodation, your food and even your entertainment.
The world effectively comes to you: on a week-long cruise, there is something different outside the window every day. And, no matter how stressful the experience ashore (just keeping your eyes open for pickpockets in St Mark’s Square in Venice is a full-time, exhausting, task), you can always come back aboard to your own little haven.
And the sort of haven offered to South Africans by a line like Royal Caribbean is that English is the lingua franca aboard, and you’ll have no trouble ordering your breakfast omelette just so.
On this cruise, on the Vision of the Seas, the seven-night itinerary takes you to explore the beauty of Norway with its dramatic fjords and wild hinterland. It’s like nowhere else in the world and was always on my bucket list.
To put a similar itinerary together with air and land arrangements would be complex, to say the least.
With a company like Royal Caribbean, one of the biggest in the business, there is around 40 years of experience in cruising and the offering is accomplished and slick.
The Vision of the Seas, at 78 000 tons, is one of the smallest in the RC fleet yet, because of this, it is able to get into places like the fjords, which are inaccessible to the bigger ships (RC has the world’s biggest, the Oasis of the Seas and the Allure of the Seas, at 220 000 tons each).
Yet, Vision is still some operation. With a crew of 800 from more than 60 countries, it is a virtual UN afloat. Just 100 of those people are in the marine component, sailors if you like.
The rest are, effectively, hospitality staff – everything from chefs and waiters to tour organisers and entertainers.
Ship Master Srecko Ban comes from a long seafaring tradition in the Croatian city of Dubrovnik and says the Costa Concordia disaster and a number of recent incidents notwithstanding, cruising is still one of the safest ways to travel.
“The Costa Concordia obviously hurt us because people were worried for a while. But most realised that was unusual. At Royal Carribean, we take safety very, very seriously,” he says.
Crew members are trained repeatedly in emergency drills such as firefighting and evacuation, and the Vision is equipped with the latest navigational aids and rescue equipment, adds Ban.
Because of the nature of the fjords and the passages to and from them, as well as in them (where manoeuvring is very tight), this particular cruise is “one of the most challenging” from a seamanship point of view, he says.
“But, as you can see for yourself, the scenery is beautiful and the best way to appreciate it is from the water.”
Destinations are one thing, but the cruising experience is about much, much more.
Martin is on his third cruise and finds it a great way to see the world and meet people. A paraplegic since breaking his back some years ago, he is adequately catered for by Royal Caribbean, although some European destinations are not as accessible for disabled people as they should be.
Retired Sydney civil servant Neville is already a veteran cruiser, having been all over the world, and highlights have been a total eclipse off Australia and Mayan temples incentral America. Neville’s an expert on getting good deals and on making the most of your time ashore. He also thinks it’s a great way to travel and one that is good value for money.
One of the main attractions of cruising is food and it’s a truism that you will over-eat, no matter how self-controlled.
Vision’s food and beverage manager, Swiss-born Werner Zurcher, says the company sources most of its dry food products from its home base, the US, but has suppliers around the world for other items. Menu designers put together a number of different templates, but these are often adjusted and tweaked, depending on the clientele aboard for a particular cruise.
Executive chef Michael Luik says, for example, that Danes like a “lot of fish and seafood and good meat”, while Germans are probably some of the most adventurous eaters yet still appreciate some of their traditions, like brunch.
There are a number of dining options: formal or semi formal in the main Aquarius dining room or informal in the Windjammer Café, for’ard. Whether serving yourself or being waited on, you can expect consistently good quality, promises Luik.
That this is more than PR-speak is evidenced on the penultimate night when Luik and his team of chefs make a grand appearance on the winding staircase in the Aquarius and receive rousing ovations from the diners.
On the final day, when the multinational crew put on an international flag day, hundreds of guests are crowded four-thick over five levels of balconies, watching and enthusiastically applauding.
The service level I experience, from all members of the crew, is uniformly very good to excellent, and the line prides itself on its efficiency and friendliess.
After encountering many incidents of surly European service over the years, the experience aboard the Vision is a refreshing change.
The other big attraction of cruising is the entertainment and, although I am not a big fan of any stage shows on land or on sea, the rest of the passengers seem rapt as they go to and from the 1 400 seat Masquerade Theatre for live shows and new movie releases.
Cruise director Topi Ylonen, a 31-year-old from Finland, keeps things bouncing along at a lively pace: from stage shows to impromptu dances in the central atrium, to towel folding demonstrations, bingo and trivia, with all manner of music, and venues.
“We design the programme around the demographics of the passengers and we have a set rhythm – start off slowly, then small peak, then ease off then up to the big farewell night.”
(Yes, since you ask: I did take part in the trivia quiz one morning. I bettered Neville, but there was a damn Yank who got one more correct than I did and walked away with the souvenir highlighter pen.)
Ylonen points out that the live shows can save you a packet of money because the equivalents ashore would cost a fortune.
Despite the fact there are just under 2 000 passengers on this voyage (400 less than full), I can find plenty of quiet places to get away from the madding crowd to read or to write, as I am doing now, in a quiet corner of the glass-roofed solarium, with its pool and Jacuzzi.
And I am contemplating. Do I now understand why people love this way of travel and why they do it again and again? Yes, definitely. Would I do this myself? Yes, definitely. But that takes me to another thought.
Though Martin and I don’t notice frantic singles trying to “mingle” (though married, I agree to act as his “wingman” at the disco and discover my break-the-ice-with-someone-of-the-opposite-sex subset no longer exists) and though we are ignored, I can’t fail to pick up on the air of romance throughout the ship.
It is mainly older couples, away from home, away from family, relaxed and pampered, who look at each other in ways they might have done when they met.
If I do this again, I won’t do it alone.
A love boat indeed.
l Brendan Seery was a guest of Royal Carribean International and Cruises International in Joburg.
Cruises International website: www.cruises.co.za
Switchboard: 011 327 0327
IF YOU GO
l Choose the right cruise: if you are looking for peace and relaxation, don’t go on a cruise where there are plenty of party animals, and vice versa. Ask your cruise agent in detail about what you are considering.
l Get the correct visas.
l Depending on the cruise, it may be virtually pointless having a more expensive cabin with a sea view if you are at sea a lot. You can make significant savings if you forego the view and regard your cabin merely as a place to sleep. However, it is also a privilege to be able to sit on your own balcony and watch the sights as you enter and leave port.
l Sea sickness on a large modern cruise liner is rarely an issue, but take some medication with you in case.
l Draw up a budget and stick to it – but factor in land-based excursions. On a trip like the one to Norway, these are the best options because the towns are generally small and the attractions are more than a walk away. Check out the prices, though, beforehand.
l Remember, you can’t take food or drink off the ship and that if you do buy something ashore you won’t be able to consume it in your stateroom.
l Drink aboard ship is not cheap, so bear that in mind. There is plenty of tea or coffee from free dispensers, but alcohol and premium soft drinks attract a charge. On the other hand, even drinking on the ship is cheaper than doing so in the Scandinavian ports, where booze costs are eye-watering.
l Tipping is not an option. On RC, $12 a day is added to the bill of each stateroom for crew tips. You can, of course, offer more directly.
l Start your diet when you get to the airport for the flight back home. - Saturday Star