Teachers leave in droves as rogue parents make their lives a living hell

PARENTAL aggression has pushed already‑stretched teachers past their limits, forcing many to leave the profession, and in some cases, the country. Experts warn that schools are becoming battlegrounds, where parents lash out at staff, use verbal and physical abuse, send threatening calls or emails. Sometimes they even confront pupils directly.

Thirona Moodley of the teachers’ union Naptosa says the situation is unbearable. “Parents are stepping out of their lanes and engaging with the school on issues that are out of their mandate. They come in like bulldozers…” she says.

Many parents, she says, are bypassing formal channels. Rather than lodging complaints with principals or school governing bodies, they evade security and go straight into classrooms, leaving teachers fearful and occasionally in danger. “Children are very active in making false accusations, and then the parents respond. They support their children and don’t want to hear negative comments or reports about their conduct.”

The aggression spans both public and private schools, though it takes different forms. “In private schools, parents tend to be more hands‑on and more critical of teachers. Even small issues, like where a child is asked to sit, can become a problem. Some feel entitled because they pay high school fees and believe they deserve to demand accountability from teachers. Parents do have a right to engage in their children’s education, but how they do it, matters.”

According to Moodley, teachers increasingly feel powerless because of laws protecting children, which make it difficult to chastise or penalise them for misbehaviour. “There are no consequences for bad behaviour by pupils or for parents who act inappropriately and so teachers are frustrated. Many are leaving the country for places with smaller class sizes, more respectful pupils, better management, and more structure.”

In KwaZulu‑Natal, Alexander Forbes, appointed as Health Risk Manager for the Department of Education, previously reported that many teachers were on extended sick leave and incapacity leave due to anxiety and depression, Naptosa says. While it’s not the most recent report, the organisation said it indicated that, statistically, the largest number of teachers booked off on leave were doing so for stress‑related issues at school.

Andrè De Bruyn, from the Education & Allied Workers Union of South Africa (EUSA), says that apart from parental aggression, teachers also face aggression from pupils and community members. “This violence and intimidation erode morale, crush mental health, and drive teachers  away from the profession, especially in poorer public schools that are already under‑resourced and overstretched.”

De Bruyn argues that the Department of Basic Education must be held accountable. “Wellness programmes and ‘teacher appreciation days’ are plasters on amputations. What we need is structural reform: properly resourced schools, enforceable safety frameworks, zero tolerance for violence against teachers, and a stress‑free working environment where educators can focus on teaching, not survival.”

Earlier this week, a teacher at a former model‑C school recalled being confronted by a parent after a child failed to make the sports team. “Instead of messaging me, she took her frustrations straight to the principal but fabricated more lies. If she messaged me, I would tell her what happened,” she said. The situation escalated when the parent spread her version of events in a parents’ WhatsApp group. “Things got ugly because now she painted a picture of me that wasn’t near to the truth. It’s like they tell you: you cannot defend yourself, your reputation. From that day I said no more going to school and teaching for a passion, I am just doing it to get paid.”

Another public school teacher said the problem is compounded in poorer communities, where young parents are often aggressive towards teachers, unlike past times when parents would first ask what the child had done wrong. “Now you get the mom who sends you a message that she will be waiting for you after school, without even questioning what their child did. The level of respect for teachers has dropped drastically and the amount of love for the profession has gone down with it,” she warned.

A Durban teacher recalls how a parent burst into their staffroom during a meeting and punched the principal in the face, breaking his nose. The incident was believed to be related to her daughter’s homework. 

In June a video was circulated on social media showing how a mother was smacked by a teacher in the North West allegedly relating to her children’s late arrival at school.

This week, two school governing body (SGB) members who wished to remain anonymous said their daily battles go far beyond the usual challenges of teaching. One recounted how two boys were caught smoking dagga at school. “One of the boys was so aggressive that his own mother was scared of him. You could see that she had tried everything, but he had no respect for anyone. He ended up leaving school.”

In another case, a young boy persistently tried to sit next to a nine‑year‑old girl on the school bus, even after repeated warnings. “He wanted to do things to her,” a teacher said. Eventually, the school removed him from the bus. Instead of supporting the school’s decision, his mother threatened the school and pulled him out of class. The principal warned that the SGB would step in if the boy wasn’t returned to school; he now uses a different mode of transport.

Such episodes, the SGB member said, are becoming alarmingly common.

One SGB member revealed how some learners openly flaunt their family's wealth as a shield against discipline. “I come from a background where you hear, ‘No teacher is going to shout at my child because my father drives a Porsche and pays your school fees, so I’ll do what I want.’” When parents are called in, some will tell teachers, “There’s nothing wrong with my child; there’s something wrong with you.”

Another SGB member warned that the situation is pushing educators to the brink. “I’ve come across many instances where teachers have said they can’t do this anymore. I know a lot of teachers who have left for corporate jobs. They’re giving up teaching because of this.”

Heads of public and private schools confirm the problem is widespread.

Andre Oosthuysen, executive head of St Benedict’s, says this confrontational approach now spans a wide spectrum of issues - from discipline and academic results to sports awards. He says school leaders are facing growing numbers of “keyboard warrior” parents — mothers and fathers who bypass dialogue and instead resort to legal threats, media pressure, or political interference over even the smallest of issues. “Most of our parents are very supportive, but I am deeply troubled by the threatening, litigious approach some parents are adopting when dealing with schools,” he said. “I question why educational institutions have become the ‘soft target’ for pent‑up frustrations.”

Gill Jeffrey, executive and senior head of St Andrew’s School for Girls in Johannesburg, also sees the shift. “While we have incredibly supportive parents overall, and I’m grateful for our positive interactions, there’s a concerning trend among a small number of parents who now lead with aggressive threats rather than engaging in the constructive dialogue that should come first when addressing school‑related issues.”

Dr Deon Oerson, Head of School at Holy Rosary, warns of deeper damage: “The erosion of relational wellness in schools is a result of high levels of parental mistrust, which often manifests as frustration and anger. This disruption affects the social‑emotional ecosystem where care should be at the heart of these relationships. Instead of focusing on the pupil’s well‑being, we spend valuable time managing parent expectations.”

Professor Nuraan Davids of the University of Stellenbosch lectures in Educational Philosophy and has noticed a growing trend: education is being viewed as a transactional investment. “Parents expect a return: that their child will succeed academically, gain university entry, or excel in extracurricular activities. Because they are paying, directly or indirectly they feel entitled to intervene in school matters, much like supervising a hired painter.”

Davids adds that this behaviour is not limited to wealthy schools. “Even in no‑fee schools, parents may assert their opinions or intervene directly, demonstrating that this mindset is widespread. 

Social media, Davids says, only intensifies these pressures. “An incident in a class at 10am can be tweeted, filmed, and shared before emotions have settled. By the time the child gets home, the parent may have emailed the teacher or lodged a complaint. Teachers often have no time to calm the situation before it escalates.”

Terrence Khala from the Department of Basic Education revealed that while corporal punishment remains one of the most frequently reported forms of teacher misconduct, the department is not aware of any widespread litigation by parents. “The Department is taking a firm stance to eliminate corporal punishment through strengthened enforcement, teacher training, and awareness campaigns to protect learners’ rights and reduce potential conflict between parents and educators,” Khala said.

He also offered reassurance regarding concerns about teacher shortages. “South Africa has a large pool of qualified, unemployed educators, and we are actively working to place them where they are needed most. Any shortages that do arise are subject‑ or phase‑specific, and targeted interventions, including recruitment drives, bursary programmes, and improved deployment systems, are being implemented to ensure that every classroom is adequately staffed,” said Khala.