Sex site gets sticky over lube and the law

SEX sells, but lube with lidocaine is ‘high risk’. Online sex toy shop Lola Montez was ordered by payment gateway Payfast to remove a certain lube from its offerings, or risk losing the ability to accept payments. The store says it highlights how banks and processors can influence what merchants sell.

The product in question, Malesation Anal Relax Waterbased Lube, contains a small amount of lidocaine, a mild anesthetic, but has been flagged as high risk.

Sharon Gordon, who owns Lola Montez, says she was stunned when she received the instruction and has repeatedly questioned why these platforms can dictate what they think is high risk.

Gordon said that it all started with a phone call from a Payfast representative last week.

“He said, ‘We are backed by Absa Bank and we have received a notification from Absa that you have an item on your website that they consider dangerous. You either have to remove it today, or we are going to cancel our payment portal with Lola Montez’,” said Gordon.

That phone call came after an email from the Payfast Regulatory Compliance Team stated:

“… PayFast’s processing model is governed by requirements set by our acquiring banks, card associations (Visa/Mastercard), and the Payments Association of South Africa (PASA). Under these frameworks, products containing restricted substances such as lidocaine and/or yohimbe, as well as certain high‑risk product categories, cannot be processed. We kindly ask that you continue to ensure no such products remain available for sale on your website, as this is necessary to maintain uninterrupted payment processing services.”

Gordon said she had removed the said lube from her website but was waiting for clarity from Payfast after raising her concerns.

“I'd really like to understand the regulations of how Absa gets to decide what we can put on and what we can't. How do they decide what is dangerous, what isn't? I'm happy to abide by all the guidelines. I just want to know what they are. What are the rules to the game?”

When trawling the internet in search of similar online stores, it emerged that many other businesses sold the exact lube; one store even indicated it was out of stock.

Gordon says her lube is legal to use in the EU and ISO approved, but she has yet to see the regulations that were used against her. 

“Is somebody combing through the websites? Are they looking for the word lidocaine? How did they find it? I think it's outrageous. If I was selling cocaine, I’d understand completely, but I'm not selling an illegal product - it’s an anal lube. Who’s to say that tomorrow they’ll take offence to purple slippers?”

She pointed out that lidocaine is widely used in everyday products, including oral and topical treatments.  

“What happens if somebody decides that menopause is offensive and they start telling you that you're not allowed to sell all lubes for women who are suffering from vaginal dryness, because they can,” she said.

Challenges like this are not unusual for her. Gordon says that two years ago she suffered a similar fate when she was ordered to remove bondage toys - cuffs, ropes, whips and floggers - from her website. She later put them back up and hasn’t received a complaint since.

Absa, the acquiring bank for Payfast, says it monitors merchant websites to ensure products and business categories match international card‑scheme rules. Any discrepancies trigger alerts that must be fixed.

“While we cannot comment on specific cases due to customer confidentiality, neither Absa nor payment service providers have visibility into individual consumers’ shopping baskets. Instead, monitoring focuses on the accuracy of the merchant’s data, product representations and overall website content. This approach is aimed at protecting cardholders from misrepresentation when transacting online.”

High-risk categories are determined by global fraud patterns and cardholder‑risk indicators—not the products themselves, Absa said.

The South African Payments Association (PASA) regulates its members, which include banks, branches of foreign banks, mutual banks, and designated participants under the National Payment System Act. PASA said its members manage their own due diligence processes when deciding to provide services to merchants or payment gateways, such as Payfast.

“PASA plays no role in how its members provide payment services. Consumer protection and conduct oversight is the mandate of regulators, such as the National Consumer Commission and the Financial Sector Conduct Authority.”

Alastair Tempest, CEO of the e-Commerce Forum of South Africa,said that almost all payment gateways include a clause in their contracts reserving the right not to process products that violate company policy.

“Well, I would be extremely surprised to hear that they [payment gateways] went through every single product that each merchant sells. I think this has just fallen on someone in the bank who had a bad experience or something and therefore made a sort of ruling. The only times I really have heard of it is things like counterfeit goods… So generally in South Africa, I’d say e-commerce businesses, especially small businesses, do not have a problem.”

However, Gordon’s matter underscores the challenges faced by those in the industry.  

Kgomotso Masela, professionally known as Spicey Luscious, a sexual wellness retailer and certified sex and intimacy coach, says adult wellness merchants play a bigger role than just selling products. She says they also educate, empower, and normalise conversations around intimacy.

She notes that compliance is a serious part of operating in the adult intimacy space: sourcing safe, body-friendly products, providing accurate guidance, and meeting consumer protection standards.  “Many customers prefer buying online where they feel anonymous. While this offers privacy, it also creates risks because online spaces are not always regulated, and it can expose people to unsafe or counterfeit products. This is why education and trusted retailers are so important.”