Pride month delivered the sort-of good news that South Africa is the 11th best country for LGBTI+ travellers, according to mydatingadviser.com but there is still work to be done against discrimination.
What someone thinks of you is none of your damn business.
That’s one of the best life lessons in the history of the world. Of course, your opinion of someone else is equally irrelevant and none of their ‒ and often, your ‒ business.
We have to make judge-y calls every day: can you trust someone enough (the toughest test for me) to lend them one of your prized books? People who don’t return borrowed books are the worst of the worst. I carried a couple of books around with me for decades because I lost touch with the lender, and was overjoyed when we bumped into each other and I could finally arrange to return them. Felt like a weight off my shoulders.
With the burgeoning number of fraudsters and scammers looking for their next target, you need to keep your spidey senses on full alert to avoid becoming a victim.
So too with physical crime, but what does a hijacker, robber or serial killer look or act like? Listen to your sixth sense and judge away, but not in all arenas.
“Peer pressure” to do the right thing, speaking up against unjust or hurtful actions, can be a powerful tool to encourage and nurture the best in us. Generally speaking, the “right thing” is behaviour that does not hurt, endanger or infringe on any other individual or group of people who may think, behave or look “other” than you, but whose actions in no way affect you.
What we never need to do is poke our noses in other people’s choices, decisions and private lives because it’s none of our damn business.
Which is why I am always astounded at the invasive hatred and condemnation of people who love “differently” to what is considered “the norm”.
Many years ago, my then very young son asked why some people hated gays. It came out of left field while I was driving home on a freeway, trying to keep my wits on the “Mad Max” maniacs who dwell there. But he opened the door and I wanted to step in so it was a natural conversation.
Turns out that any love is good love, no matter where or with whom one finds it, was a bloody good explanation and after a bit of discussion, was never raised again as something to question.
Pride month reminded me of that conversation as did the sort-of good news that South Africa is the 11th best country for LGBTI+ travellers, according to mydatingadviser.com
Sort of good because the same site quotes recent Pew Research finding 54% of South Africans accept homosexuality ‒ that’s really just more than half our population. There’s a lot more work to be done to support our LGBTI+ people.
What we must guard against is the barbarism of Uganda ‒ and yes, I am being judge-y because it hurts (or worse) people who are doing no harm to others.
Uganda last month passed a law which promises 10 years in jail for “attempted homosexuality”, 20 years for “promotion of homosexuality”, life for “the offence of homosexuality” and a death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality”. Similar laws have been proposed in Ghana and Kenya. I could face 20 years for this column, presumably.
People have the right not to “accept” homosexuality. But nobody has the right to judge, harm or discriminate against those who are. Love is love, people, and it’s none of your damn business.
The Independent on Saturday
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