Listen to your pets when they’re talking to you

Zoe Glasser

It happens at least once in every pet owner’s life: you look into your animal companion’s eyes and wonder what they’re not telling you.

Pets are members of our families, but they can’t speak to us to say they’re in a good mood, or that their stomach hurts today or they’re feeling lonely. So how do you know what your pet is actually feeling, and what should you do if they aren’t happy?

“Most owners really can understand happiness and joy in their pets,” says Melissa Bain, a professor of clinical animal behaviour at the University of California at Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. “When we talk with owners and ask them about their dog’s behavior in certain situations, they often miss the fearful and anxious signs.”

Clues to your pet’s feelings

A major signal of pet happiness lies in body language. Much of this can be common sense to pet owners, but a happy dog will likely have its ears forward, posture upright and tail wagging. A happy cat will also have its ears forward, posture relaxed and tail upright with a slight bend in it. Bain says owners may mistake high arousal in their pet for happiness ‒ some dogs may wag their tails as a sign of alertness rather than joy. Both dogs and cats may vocalise when happy, but others vocalise out of stress and some may do both.

An anxious dog may be cowering, ears set back, nose dry, with its tail down or between its legs. Anxious dogs are also more likely to pace, lick themselves or flat surfaces, pant and exhibit aggressive behaviour such as growling, barking or biting. Similarly, an unhappy cat will have its ears back and away from the head, its tail down and back arched or low, and may hiss, spit or scratch. In both animals, pupil dilation is a common stress response.

A happy pet may also be a social one, though this varies among species, ages and individual animals. Some social animals may wish to sit in the room with a person but not snuggle, while others may play with their neighbourhood friends or sleep close to their owner. In their development, cats are socialised by 7 weeks old and dogs between 14 and 16 weeks, Bain says. This period for pets will frame how they interact with humans and animals alike, but licensed training can reverse any negative behavioural patterns and help remedy aggressive or aversive behaviours in adult pets.

Pets also may express happiness through activity, or “zoomies”, when their owner is home. If your pet is unusually lethargic or expresses reduced interest in playing or socialising, they may be in pain or unhappy. This may be triggered by sudden changes in environment or lifestyle, especially in dogs. Dogs struggle with sudden changes, including moving houses, new additions to the family or deaths. It can take weeks to months for them to adjust, says Stanley Coren, a professor emeritus of psychology at the University of British Columbia. Most pet owners are attuned to their animal’s usual activity level or behaviour and, Coren says, “If there is a major change in that, especially if they seem to be less interested in things which they used to be interested in, or especially if they seem to be less interested in eating … those are all potential signs that there is something wrong.”

How to help if your pet seems unhappy

If you believe your pet may be unhappy, speak with your veterinarian as soon as possible. Many pets may need medication to treat pain or anxiety, while others may need a course of training to help ease their anxious behavioural patterns. “A problem behaviour in a dog can arise through experiences … either negative experiences or lack of experience with something, and then the dog is trying to cope with that situation in their world,” says Maryland-based dog trainer Joyce Loebig. “So they engage in some behaviours that we, the people, feel are problems. From the dog’s point of view, they’re usually just trying to cope.”

Engaging your pet’s senses can help your pet keep calm as they absorb the world around them. Letting your dog take a “sniff-fari” on walks is crucial to their enjoyment and critical to the way they take in their surroundings, says Amy Pike, a veterinary behaviourist. “Sometimes we want to go for the kilometres,” she says, “but that’s not what they’re out there to do. Exercise is great, but you definitely want to let them sniff. We explore our world visually, but they are all about the smells … It’s how they’re going to get information.”

In cats, Pike says, hunting is an instinct that owners can help satisfy. She recommends playing with feather toys or even leaving their food around the house so that the thrill of seeking out dinner can stimulate them.

Ultimately, your pet is an individual, so no two animals will show distress or happiness the same way. Meeting your pet’s physical needs and ensuring they have various types of enrichment are the best across-the-board ways to ensure reduced stress levels, which may correlate with longer life spans as they do in humans.

“I advocate for … keeping (your dog) in their comfort zone, not the comfort zone you wish for them,” Loebig says. “Dogs’ needs are met through positive associations. You have their back by not putting them in places they can’t handle, and you address it with the positive reinforcement trainer when you need help.”

Pet owners will be happy to know that one way to make your pet happy is simple: spend more time with them.

“We’ve known that humans show a de-stressing effect when around dogs since the 1980s, but it’s only been about 10-15 years since people asked the opposite question. It turns out that the effects are the same on the dog,” Coren says. “Dogs find simply the presence of people that they like to be rewarding.”

The Washington Post