Squeamish about the SQ factor

Tyler’s

Where: Marine Walk Shopping Centre, Jabu Ngcobo Drive, Umdloti

Open: Daily 8am to 9.30pm

Call: 067 416 5298

I have never been a fan of the intimidating SQ on a menu. I understand the need for it with items that are difficult to source and may vary in price substantially. And it’s usually kept for the extreme end of the seafood market. But it’s always awkward enquiring prices of dishes before you order them - and it’s something I want to know before making a massive mistake. It considerably lengthens the ordering process too. Then if you baulk and then decline, and go for the chicken peri-peri, the staff think you’re a cheapskate. And if you go balls to the wall anyway, you can just imagine the bottle of wine they’re going to try up-sell you.

Our little lunch group, food writer Ingrid Shevlin, the Fat Frog Lady and myself, are at Tyler’s, the upmarket steakhouse in Umdloti that is attached to the seafood restaurant Tightline. Having enjoyed a memorable meal at the fish outlet when it first opened, we were eager to try. 

And then came steak prices in SQ, proceed by gramage. Our waiter is quick to display a platter of steak options, a T-bone, sirloin on the bone, ribeye, rump, fillet and a nice juicy looking piece of sirloin. The menu we were given had some steaks priced for their eventual cut weight, others were SQ. The one online shows price per 100g, which suggests one should be able to order a steak for 100g if you just wanted a small tasting morsel. But no that was not to be. The sirloin wasn’t even on the menu.

We’re also told about some sort of braai day special that included lamb chops, which weren't on the menu, and chicken wings and a whole lot of other stuff coming off the open braai outside. It was somewhere between R500 and R600 ahead, but the packed restaurant was so noisy I never got to the bottom of it.

While debating mains we opted to order starters from a limited selection. Jenny and I would share a braaibroedjie of tomato, onion, cheese and chutney (R70). We enjoyed. But we’re both big fans of melted cheese. We also shared the chicken wings, with cajun spice, chilli and garlic which were good and succulent (R98). Ingrid instead chose prawns in a saffron, lemon and chilli butter (R149) which were enjoyable.

Options included beef tartare, and skinny lamb "choppies" as well as a dish of oyster mushrooms. There was also a Caesar salad .

For mains there are options like a burger (single or double) prego roll and a chicken flattie but the rest was focussed on the steaks and sides and sauces. Which left Ingrid as a non-red-meat eater with very little option. Until, that is, she saw a waiter bringing around a tray of fish from the restaurant next door. She collared him.

She would have the grilled musselcracker. This was then taken to be weighed and at 332g (who needs a piece of fish that size?) it came to R494,68. She decided to be damned. It was a beautiful piece of fish, perfectly grilled with a simple lemon butter, but way more than she could finish. 

She ordered tallow potatoes as a side (R55) These were new potatoes semi mashed and cooked in beef fat. Enjoyable, but not earth shattering, and their grilled veg (R49) which was butternut heavy but did include some nice courgette slivers and a gem squash.

Jenny and I decided to share. We’d order a 300g sirloin and a portion of two lamb loin chops. In most steakhouses sirloin being in the same price zone as rump, we weren’t to worried. Then our waiter came back to quote on our chops (R254.80) and said there was only a 400g sirloin available. It came in at R540-something. I did more than baulk, and bluntly told him I could buy almost a whole side of sirloin for that. We settled for the 300g rump (R245), which was perfectly grilled and came with a lovely béarnaise sauce (R43). The nice meaty lamb chops too were good. The cauliflower cheese as a side was also enjoyable, while sadly something sweet had been sprinkled on our chips.

Desserts are limited - a waffle, a crème brûlée and a chocolate croissant pudding (R98). We shared the latter which came with good chocolate ice-cream. The flavours we enjoyed, just that the dessert had a strangely glutenous texture. 

Food: 3 ½

Service: 3

Ambience: 2

The Bill: R1761.48 for three (included just two glasses of wine)