British satirists Spitting Image had a song that said the only "nice South African" they had met was Breyten Breytenbach " "and he's emigrated to Paris". British satirists Spitting Image had a song that said the only "nice South African" they had met was Breyten Breytenbach " "and he's emigrated to Paris".
Murray Williams wonders if the majority of South Africans can call themselves decent, righteous, caring citizens.
There was a song in the 1980s titled I’ve never met a nice South African. The band sang: “I’ve travelled this old world of ours from Barnsley to Peru,
“I’ve had sunshine in the Arctic and a swim in Timbuktu,
“I’ve seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal,
“And I’ve danced with 10-foot pygmies in a Montezuma hall,
“I’ve met the King of China and a working Yorkshire miner,
“But I’ve never met a nice South African.”
Chorus, (in South African accent):
“No he’s never met a nice South African,
“And that’s not bloody surprising man,
“Cause we’re a bunch of arrogant b***tards,
“Who hate black people.”
The song was by British satirists Spitting Image and directed specifically at white South Africans – (as one may have guessed).
The insults got worse, describing white South Africans as “a bunch of talentless murderers, who smell like baboons”.
The only “nice South African” they had met was Breyten Breytenbach – “and he’s emigrated to Paris”.
Chorus:
“Yes he’s quite a nice South African,
“And he’s hardly ever killed anyone,
“And he’s not smelly at all.
“That’s why they put him prison,” the band concludes.
The song was released in 1986, at the height of apartheid’s brutality and many would agree the sentiments were understandable – as generalisations go, for clearly a majority of white South Africans supported apartheid, a crime against humanity.
Fast-forward 30 years to the dawn of 2016.
In many ways, the transformation of South Africa has been astonishing, in too many ways to list.
So no one would, today, write such a song about South Africans, would they?
Well, at times one looks at one’s fellow South Africans and gets pretty depressed. Take just three indicators.
We have the among the highest road death tolls in the world – we speed, we are hyper-aggressive, we drink and drive.
This shows what we think about our fellow citizens and their fundamental well-being.
We have one of the highest crime rates in the world, specifically interpersonal violence, specifically rape. More South African men are rapists than men in almost any other country.
This shows what we think about women – our fellow citizens’ mothers, daughters, sisters.
And we’re one of the drunkest nations on earth.
This shows what we think about ourselves.
Those three indicators show we’re actually a mess. Maybe that’s not surprising, considering our brutalised common past.
Perhaps another satirical band is indeed planning a repeat song titled I’ve never met a nice South African in 2016.?
Or are apalling South Africans actually a minority?
Can the majority of South Africans call themselves decent, righteous, caring citizens? And do they stand tall, to defend our name?
* Williams’ “Shooting from the Lip” column appears in the Cape Argus every Monday.
Cape Argus
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