Tammy Kavirayan's 'Shattered': a raw account of survival and resilience in the face of GBV

For 32 years, Tammy Kavirayan lived a double life. To the world, she was a successful attorney and mother of five, but behind closed doors, she endured "unimaginable pain and torture".

Now, the former Pietermaritzburg resident is reclaiming her narrative with her debut memoir, "Shattered", a raw, unfiltered truth she wrote because she feared she wouldn't survive long enough to tell it.

Kavirayan’s decision to speak out comes from a desire to fill a massive gap in how we talk about gender-based violence and femicide (GBVF). While news reports often focus on those who have lost their lives, Kavirayan points out that the stories of survivors, and the way they are often mocked by the justice system, are rarely heard.

"No one tells our story of the struggle to obtain help from the police and justice system in South Africa, or of the fact that we are mocked and ridiculed for speaking out," said Kavirayan.

Encouraged by a friend, she decided to use her personal trauma to help others who feel trapped in similar situations.

"'Shattered' was born out of a very personal journey. For a long time, I carried my story quietly, but a close friend encouraged me to share it, not only as part of my healing, but to help others who might feel alone in similar situations. 

"I realised that many people don’t always recognise abuse because it often hides behind charm and control. I wrote 'Shattered' to shine a light on those hidden realities and to show that survival and healing are possible.

"More than anything, I wanted the book to offer hope, raise awareness about GBV, and remind readers that their voices matter and that they are not alone."

She says her primary reason for fighting is her children. As a mother of five, she refused to let them grow up in a home where fear was normal.

"They were my strength when I felt I had none left, and my hope when everything felt dark. I did not want them to grow up in an environment where pain and fear felt normal. I chose to survive so I could give them what every child deserves. Safety, love and peace."

This survival came at a high price as writing the book was a gruelling experience, especially the chapters regarding the loss of her twins and her mother’s murder.

"The most difficult and heartbreaking chapters were writing about the loss of my twins and my mother’s murder. The memories are still vivid, and time certainly does not heal all wounds."

Kavirayan chose to keep nothing private in "Shattered", offering an unfiltered look at the trauma that happens behind closed doors. 

Her book is a guide for those who may not see the warning signs or who are too afraid to leave their abuser.

"This is a detailed, unfiltered truth of the horrors and trauma I’ve endured. The reason is to bring awareness to what happens behind closed doors, that not every home is a safe haven, that sometimes, behind the smile and public appearances, lies unimaginable pain and torture.

"'Shattered' is aimed at anyone who wants to better understand the realities of all forms of abuse, especially those who may not recognise the warning signs or fear leaving their abuser.

"It is for survivors who may see their own experiences reflected in the story, and seek help and support to break free. It is also for readers who are drawn to powerful, real-life stories of resilience and for anyone who believes in the importance of raising awareness about gender-based violence."

Today, Kavirayan is turning her story into a global movement. Through her website, tammyshattered.co.za, she has launched a "Join Our Community" platform - a safe space where survivors can find resources and support without judgment.

She is also collaborating with international GBV organisations to provide direct help to those in need.

"Members can share experiences, find strength in one another, and access resources, updates, and events connected to the book. More than just a page, it represents the heart of 'Shattered' - reminding people that they are not alone, that their voices matter, and that there is always hope. The other tabs on the website will soon be available."

To her community, her message is one of triumph: "I survived what was meant to kill me."

She thanked her children, friends, two family members, the FTLOM (For The Love of Music) family and DJ Nivaadh Singh for their unwavering love, support, courage and compassion.

"You gave me the strength to keep going and the voice to share my story with the world."

To those still suffering, she offered a piece of advice that saved her: "I was given a piece of advice that stayed with me: 'You don’t have to have all the answers right now, you just have to take the next safe step'. That reminded me that healing doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small, brave choices, asking for help, setting boundaries and believing that a better life is possible.

"To anyone who may be struggling, please know this: you are not weak, you are not alone, and your story does not end here. There is support, there is hope, and there is a future where you can feel safe again. Believe in yourself," she ended.

• "Shattered" is available for purchase on Amazon Kindle, Draft2Digital and Takealot.