Mastering the art of solitude: tips for enjoying your own company

If we’re being honest, doing things alone is hard. I mean, I struggle with it myself. There’s this constant itch to have someone around, someone to chat to, someone to make the silence feel less loud.

And yet, life keeps pushing us to figure out that we can be our own company, and sometimes, that’s the most freeing thing of all.

When we think about dates, our minds immediately go to someone else, sharing a meal, laughing over a movie, or exploring some new spot together. And sure, that’s cute and all, but here’s the thing: you don’t always need another person to make life feel full.

However, the age of solo adventures has taken over. People are travelling the world alone, taking themselves on dates, and it seems to be quite liberating.

Morning show presenter at KFM, Sibongile Mafu, gets it. She spills the tea on how she started doing a lot of things solo.

“I do a lot of things alone, and the reason for that is, life is for living. Life is happening right now,” she says. Translation? Don’t wait for someone else to give you permission to live your life; you’re allowed to enjoy your own company. 

Yas queen!

Mafu didn’t start with grand international trips. It began small - lunches by herself, movies by herself.

She calls it “almost like exposure therapy.”

Now, if you’re raising an eyebrow, exposure therapy is basically slowly introducing yourself to things that make you anxious, so eventually they don’t feel so scary. Fun, right? Lunch alone today, world domination tomorrow.

Her advice is to start small.

"Go to the park, read a book, enjoy a quiet café. Low-pressure spaces make the whole solo thing way less intimidating."

Dress up for the occasion. Show up as your best self. When I look good, I feel good, and I get a lot of confidence for showing up in an unfamiliar environment," she adds.

Makes sense. We all know walking into the same crowd with the same judgmental faces kills your vibe. But when you look good and feel good, suddenly stepping out alone doesn’t feel like a punishment; it feels like owning the scene.

And if sitting with your own thoughts terrifies you, Mafu says, “Bring an activity, bring a crossword puzzle, a book, bring something to where you’re going so that it’s not as scary.” 

And yes, you’re allowed a safety net while you get comfortable being your own company.

“Lean into main character energy. You are the star of your own story," Mafu concludes. This one hits. Because when you start treating yourself like the lead, doing things alone stops feeling lonely and starts feeling like power.

Solo lunches, solo movies, solo parks, it’s all training ground for the life you actually want to live.