Mzansi's hilarious reactions to Vusimuzi ‘Cat’ Matlala's R300k Woolies bag scandal

The Ad Hoc Committee investigation is a very serious case, yet the accompanying saga is grabbing such loud headlines that people who previously had no interest in politics are suddenly experts.

This drama has everything: money, intrigue, questionable transactions, and a Woolworths bag that has become a national icon.

Controversial businessman and fashion-lover Vusimuzi ‘Cat’ Matlala shook the room during his testimony when he dropped the kind of details that make you stop mid-sip and ask, “I’m sorry… what?”

He told the Ad Hoc Committee that he went to the FNB branch in Menlyn with his sister, Claudette Masethe - the sole director of Medicare24 Tshwane District - and together they withdrew R300 000 in cash.

Just like that. No EFT, no notice, no sweat.

Matlala admitted he was using Masethe as a front and that even though he resigned as director in December 2024 (right when the Political Killings Task Team started breathing down his neck), he still considered himself a 100% shareholder. 

Then came the Woolies moment. According to him, the money was placed, not into a safe, not into a briefcase as they do in the movies, but in a Woolworths shopping bag. The same black-and-white bag we use for croissants and dishwashing liquid was apparently strong enough to carry R300k. 

"I always operate with a Woolies bag, that's the money bag," Matlala said.

Matlala says he walked back to his apartment and handed the bag to Bheki Cele, who was allegedly accompanied by Bongani ‘Mabonga’ Mpungose.

Now the Woolies bag isn’t just famous for carrying your beers and ciders from the liquor store - it is part of political history. But of course, the story didn’t end there.

Matlala claimed another R200,000 was paid to Cele, this time at the parking lot of The Pearls in Umhlanga. One of Matlala’s protectors allegedly passed the cash to a red Jeep linked to Cele. 

And yes, these are serious allegations. There’s nothing funny about political killings or corruption. But in true South African style, even while the country is stressed, we somehow manage to find a gap to poke fun and laugh a little because what else can we do? Cry? Please, we’ve cried enough.

So social media did what social media does best: it ran wild.

X user @SimelaneQusheka posted the line that sent the whole country: “I will never look at the people carrying this Woolies bag the same way. It not only carries groceries but thousands & millions of rands!”

Then came @Lord_Marven1, who decided to revive the conversation about Matlala’s eternal fashion show: “If it’s not Burberry then it’s Fendi that’s when you know that brother really packed that 300k in that Woolies bag.”

"This bag is about to cost us an arm and a leg at Woolies. It not only carries groceries but thousands of rands," @by_greatest commented.

Instagrammer @leratosekoai_9 also joined the fun, posting a video of a guy casually strolling through a mall with a gigantic Woolies bag, the kind that looks like it’s doing overtime. The caption read: “Spotted"