Former Miss SA Natasha Vermaak opens up about overcoming trust struggles and emotional challenges

Miss South Africa 2023 Natasha Vermaak (formerly Joubert) recently took to TikTok to share her emotional ups and downs over the last few months.

She revealed that she has been navigating a challenging season in her life, filled with work and personal struggles.

In her heartfelt video, Vermaak expressed that she feels it's tough to trust her own feelings and the people around her. 

"I've been going through a very challenging season where, at times, it's work situations and then sometimes it's more personal relationships, and I find myself at a season where it's very hard to navigate how to trust my intuition or how to trust other people. 

"I've been retracting myself a lot and not sharing as much in my personal relationships, and I wanted to share something that my psychologist shared today."

Vermaak revealed that whenever she feels someone can't keep a secret or has hurt her feelings, she tends to push them away. 

"I felt like I didn't want to allow anyone in to the extend where I'm just pushing and kicking everyone away, or if they show me one reason why I can't trust them or if my feelings were invalidated, or they couldn't keep a secret, or whatever it might be, I just started cutting and pushing away and put my walls up, not high, but my boundaries and my standards, to say that I deserve better. 

She explained that while it's important to have standards, it can also lead to loneliness if too many people are kept at a distance.

During her therapy session, Vermaak said that she learned a valuable lesson from her psychologist. 

"You have a few rooms in your house, you've got your lawn, TV room, guest rooms, and then you've got your own room, and who you allow in those spaces, are up to you."

Her therapist suggested treating her friendships like rooms; some friends can stay in the guest room, while closer friends might stay in the master bedroom. 

"If you want to keep someone just in the TV room for a while, at arm's length, that's okay, and if you have your closest people, whether that's your family members, your husband, your sister, that's in your master bedroom, that's perfect.

"That really made me feel less guilty because I felt like if I can't trust someone fully, how can I call myself a friend."

She continued: "I wanted to share that information so that if you struggle with the same thing, kind of at a spot where it's like 'What's peoples intentions?' or 'Will they have my back when I'm not there in a conversation?' or 'Can I trust them fully when I share something?' or 'Do they have my best interests at heart when I'm vocal about struggling or going through a difficult season, are they literally there, do they really care?'"

Vermaak acknowledged that her feelings might be part of a "quarter-life crisis" and admitted to feeling confused about her emotions and how to handle them.

"Maybe it's like a quarter-life crisis. Whenever I just feel very confused in my emotions and just how I do things, I do psychology sessions, I sit and cry, like I'm doing now.

"And to sometimes hear (someone say) look at it differently or that it is something I need to work on, is important, and I think the conclusion was not to push everyone completely out of my house, but just put them in different rooms in the house."

She also stressed that while she likes to look happy at events and when getting dressed up, it’s only a small part of what she is going through.

"It's been such a difficult time, the last four or five months, and I couldn't deal with the majority of it because it is very personal. To come online and pretend like I'm happy and thriving and going to these events and dressing up, it's honestly the 5% of what life is."

Her honesty struck a chord with many netizens who struggle with trust and relationships. Many took to the comments to share their experiences.

@uayandaayanda wrote: "I struggle a lot with this …😔 one mistake you out … I find myself not giving grace … but I’m working on it."

@RN, OHNP said: "Thank you for sharing from the heart. I think a lot of us have been feeling the same this year - 2025 hasn’t been easy by any means. But your words remind me that we’re not alone, and that God continues to meet us in the middle of our struggles. I hear you, I see you, and I’m walking through much of the same.♥."

@Genabré commented: "I needed this ... I'm currently having these same feelings and emotions."