Understanding loneliness: a common mental health struggle for parents and kids

When it comes to mental health, parents and kids often find themselves at odds over what matters most. But a groundbreaking survey reveals one powerful insight they both agree on: loneliness is the biggest mental health challenge young people face today.

The Intergenerational Stressors Study surveyed 1,000 parent and child pairs in the United States and found that both groups agree: loneliness is the top emotional issue for young people.

This problem is not limited to the US; families around the world are facing the same challenge.

Parents and kids may not always agree, but their shared concern about loneliness shows that families, schools, and communities need to help people connect more deeply. Let's look at how loneliness affects both groups, why it is so common, and what we can do to help.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recently named loneliness a global public health concern, placing it alongside issues like obesity and smoking due to its long-term impact on both physical and mental health.

Prolonged loneliness doesn’t just make us sad; it changes how our bodies function. Studies show that chronic loneliness can raise stress hormones, weaken immunity, and even shorten life expectancy.

Many adults think of loneliness as something that comes with age or living alone, but research shows that young people today are actually some of the loneliest. Even though social media makes it seem like everyone is connected, many teens and young adults feel left out or unnoticed.

Technology makes it easy to reach out to others, but it can be hard to feel truly connected. Many young people see only the best parts of others' lives online and end up feeling like they don't measure up.

But what does loneliness look like in everyday life? For young people, it might feel like scrolling endlessly through social media, surrounded by “friends” yet feeling unseen and unheard.

For parents, it might be the quiet isolation of juggling responsibilities while struggling to connect with their children.

Loneliness isn’t just an emotional experience; it’s a health crisis. Studies have shown that chronic loneliness can lead to increased risks of anxiety, depression, and even physical illnesses like heart disease.

While both parents and kids agree that loneliness is a significant issue, their concerns about why it happens and how it affects them differ:

• The biggest concern for parents is protecting long-term risks, such as their kids' school performance, safety, and substance use.  

• Kids, on the other hand, feel the weight of navigating relationships, whether they’re romantic, platonic, or familial.

Unsurprisingly, technology plays a central role in the loneliness conversation. Both parents and kids express unease about social media’s effect on mental health. The rise of carefully curated online personas has left countless young people feeling inadequate and disconnected.

However, opinions split when it comes to artificial intelligence (AI). Many parents view AI as another potential risk, while kids are more optimistic about its possibilities, provided it’s used responsibly.

This generational divide highlights the need for families to have honest discussions about how technology can both help and harm relationships.

Loneliness is deeply personal, and its effects vary widely. It’s not just about being physically alone; it’s about feeling disconnected, unseen, or misunderstood.

According to mental health experts, some common emotional markers of loneliness include:

• A sense of emptiness or numbness.
• Feeling detached from others, even in a crowded room.
• A longing for meaningful connections.
• Social anxiety can make reaching out feel impossible.
• Negative self-perceptions, like believing you’re unlikable or incapable of forming relationships.

Loneliness is also cyclical. It can lead to mental health challenges like depression and anxiety, which in turn, deepen feelings of isolation. Chronic loneliness even triggers the body’s stress response, releasing harmful hormones that can exacerbate mental and physical health issues.

The good news is that loneliness is manageable. While it’s a universal human experience, there are practical steps we can take to combat it. Here are some expert-backed strategies:

1. Prioritise connection: Reach out to friends, family, or even acquaintances. A simple text or coffee date can go a long way.

2. Join communities: Whether it’s a local hobby group, a fitness class, or a volunteer opportunity, shared activities foster a sense of belonging.

3. Limit social media: Be mindful of how much time you spend online and focus on face-to-face interactions instead.

4. Practice self-compassion: Remember that loneliness is a common experience, not a personal failure.

5. Seek professional help: If loneliness feels overwhelming, a therapist can provide valuable tools and support.

6. Be patient: Building meaningful connections takes time. Set realistic expectations for yourself and others.

Loneliness is not just a mental health buzzword; it’s a growing epidemic with far-reaching consequences.

As human beings, we’re hardwired for connection. When those connections feel out of reach, the effects can be profound.