Tips for parents struggling with homework
|Published
Durban - For many school-leavers, there’s relief at never having to battle with subjects like maths or physical science again if you don’t need them in your chosen career.
But when the time comes that parents need to help their children with homework, they often flounder and the task becomes a daily struggle that can create conflict in the family.
Two psychologists highlight some reasons why parents struggle to offer help and suggest ways for them to make meaningful contributions to their children’s education.
Durban-based founder of Jayde Green Counselling, Jayde Green, is a registered psychologist.
She said one cause of tension between parents and children when it comes to homework is fatigue.
“Children are tired after school and extramurals and, therefore, aren’t motivated to do homework. Parents are also often tired after work, which can lead to conflict between the parent and child when a child does not want to cooperate.”
She added that children who struggled academically would also be reluctant to do homework.
She said it was important for children to do their homework in a quiet space away from distractions. Parents must acknowledge their child’s feelings around not wanting to do homework, but let them know they still had to do it.
“Homework can be a source of high conflict. It is recommended that you get an external person to do homework with your child to maintain your relationship if this is the case. Homework struggles do not make you a bad parent,” she said.
The founder of Neo-Psych Services, Alberton-based educational psychologist Nomsa Radebe, agreed that parents who struggle to help should not consider themselves incapable and suggested learning with their children.
“How we perceive and interact with different areas in our educational journeys informs how we observe our abilities to partner in them ‒ outcomes of which have us feeling either capable or incapable. Parents often fall on either of these perspectives and so this affects how they choose to work with them as parents, guiding and trying to support their own children,” she said.
She said parents’ abilities were sometimes hampered by varying levels of education; whether or not the parent understood the topic/subject when they were at school and whether the parent might have struggled with the subject when they were younger, and all this results in a negative reaction towards homework.
Radebe encouraged parents to exercise patience with themselves in the same way they needed to do so for their children.
“In instances where your knowledge on a topic is limited, embrace the process of learning alongside your child/children through normalising the fact that even as the parent, you don’t know or are unsure. For your children to not fear the process of learning, they have to see it from their parents, and this is through you leading by the example of learning new topics,” she said.
She added that it was also important to know that sometimes seeking out appropriate support was the best way to aid your child – sometimes, a specialist can help.
“Where you as the parent come in is to be willing to learn alongside your child/children as they discuss the new topics with you and you encourage the child to practise after each lesson. By doing this, you’re giving them the space to learn,” she added.
The Independent on Saturday