Steering teens, parents through puberty
Teacher, author and speaker Christy Herselman has launched her third book to help teens and parents navigate through puberty.
Herselman, from Umdloti, launched What Just Happened? which addresses the changes that happen during puberty to a person’s body, brain, emotions and relationships.
It covers topics such as sex, sex on screen (like nudity, porn, sexual grooming etc) and puberty in a digital world. It ends with a chapter of practical tips to help young people thrive during puberty.
What Just Happened? is aimed at 11 to 15-year-olds as a fun, easy-to-use resource for tweens, teens and parents navigating puberty. It gives simple answers to questions about the changes they experience and tools to guide them into making wise choices.
“I have spoken to lots of older teens who read the book and said they learnt so much, especially about the opposite sex, because nobody has spoken to them about these things,” she said.
The mother of three teenagers said she wanted to create a book she needed and that her children would want to read.
“Most parents don’t talk to their children about topics like puberty, sex, social media or pornography, usually because they feel awkward, don’t know how to or because their parents did not have these discussions with them.
“Children and teens are curious and need to make sense of what is happening in their changing bodies, relationships and lives. If their parents don’t talk to them, they will seek answers online, and what they find is often inaccurate and or distorted and dangerous,” she said.
Herselman said the book was an accumulation of the last 10 years of her work, research and experiences.
“My work with the Grade 8 and 9 pupils at Northwood School gave me a window into the early teen years and the support these young people need. As I developed the life orientation curriculum for Northwood, my book took shape too because I was covering a lot of the same topics,” she said.
Herselman said from her experience, only about 10-20% of parents had any discussions with their children about the important topics she explains.
“There is a huge gap between what parents think their children are experiencing, seeing and need to know about, and what is actually happening.
“Parents are afraid, unaware or putting their heads in the sand a lot of the time, and leaving teens to their own devices – literally. I am shocked at how little Grade 8 and 9 pupils know about healthy, normal sex and how much they have been exposed to ugly, disrespectful and distorted versions online,” she said.
She added that many pre-teen girls were self-diagnosing mental health conditions online because nobody had spoken to them about the normal and often extreme emotional changes that take place during puberty and their menstrual cycle.
Herselman said parents should be brave and initiate these important conversations and ensure they are never too busy to talk to their children.
Herselman has also founded a movement called The Chat, to empower parents, organisations and communities to confidently talk about the big topics in a natural, open manner which creates safe spaces for on-going conversations.
She also equips tweens and teens to make healthy, future-focused decisions around their sexuality and identity through her workshops at schools, helping children and teens become safe, wise digital users and have a healthy understanding of sex.
Her passion is to help cultivate deep connections, facilitate healthy dialogue and help raise a generation who are secure in who they are and where they are going.
Other books written by Herselman are The Chat: Birds, Bees and Destinies and #wellconnected: How to be Safe, Wise & Kind Online.
What Just Happened? is available via her website www.thechat.co.za and costs R280.
