Transforming lives: The impact of Durban's Community Fathers on absent fatherhood

The Community Fathers movement, a collective of dedicated men in Durban, is spearheading a silent transformation within their communities.

This initiative seeks to combat the pervasive social issues arising from fatherlessness, including drug abuse and gang violence, by providing a sense of hope and belonging.

The simple scene of fathers and children together on the beach, watching the sunrise, is a moment of quiet solidarity. It serves as a powerful rejection of the forces that threaten to tear families apart.

The scourge of drugs, gang violence, and other social ills within communities has tragically cut short many young lives and continues to obstruct countless promising futures, a crisis often fuelled by the widespread void of positive male mentorship.

Founded by Child and Family practitioner Darian Smith, the Community Fathers initiative addresses the prevalent crisis of absent fatherhood.

Smith's 25 years of work with vulnerable youth directly informed the creation of this movement, revealing the severity of this epidemic.

The movement originates from his Doctoral Participatory Action Research titled “Mobilising Community Fathers to co-create Safer Spaces in the community of Wentworth”.

“What I thought was important, is to look at ways and means of how fathers in the community can start working together, and to fill that space of the absent father situation we have in our community and in our country,” he said.

Community Fathers' mission is simple yet profound: for local men to collaboratively fill that mentorship void and interrupt the cycle of social decay.

Smith’s journey, which included working with young offenders in wilderness rehabilitation, consistently revealed a crucial void in their lives.

"What I would pick up from them and also having worked in many children’s homes," Smith explains, "is that a majority of our young people have absent fathers in their lives. So the seed was planted from there."

His subsequent Master’s degree in restorative justice, his travels to other countries, and his ongoing PhD in peacebuilding solidified the diagnosis.

"Absent fathers are a trend. It's an epidemic that's creating such chaos in every sense of the word," he says, underscoring the urgent need for community-led intervention.

For Smith, the data and the diplomas merely confirmed the human truth. This led him to develop a framework, based on the philosophy of "The Ultimate Gift", which rejects top-down solutions.

Instead, Community Fathers champions a co-creation process where men and children jointly design projects around core values such as love, family, and community.

"Usually you get experts coming in telling the community what they need to do," Smith notes, "whereas the community also has a voice. The community knows what to do. They just need to be given the platform to be able to express the way they feel and their talents."

Beyond the beach, programmes that deliver change

The philosophy is brought to life through concrete action, starting with the deeply symbolic. 

The Community Fathers Sunrise, an annual gathering, is designed to forge bonds and provide a moment of peace.

"It was just to get fathers from the community, the children — not just their biological children, but children from all over the community — just to get to the beach, watch the sunrise together, shoulder to shoulder in a moment of silence," says Smith.

One of those fathers transformed by the ethos is Gerhardus van Kratenburg, who grew up in Wentworth and was inspired after attending the first Sunrise event.

Having been raised by a "community of fathers" after his parents divorced, he understood the power of collective mentorship.

Beyond symbolic gatherings, the flagship programme, “Empower You”, directly addresses the cycle of poverty and lack of opportunity.

It assists matriculants with tertiary education applications. "We've got more than 50 or so kids into universities," Smith proudly stated, citing successful placements in fields from law to engineering.

Crucially, this programme demands parental involvement.

“We get families to be a part of the process. I call parent meetings. They better attend,” Smith insists, describing late-night Teams appointments where he helps entire families navigate the application process.

The co-creation process has also led to initiatives like "The Gift of a Day", a workshop that culminated in a community concert, and seven-day family challenges designed to bring households closer through activities like playing board games or doing karaoke.

In addition to core programmes, Community Fathers and children participate in diverse collaborative activities for growth and connection.

They perform community service (clean-ups, planting), host 'Bonding by the Fire' events for sharing and commitment to change, and bridge the generational gap by engaging with the elderly through events like Christmas parties, karaoke, and movie nights at old age homes.

Furthermore, the movement prioritises skill development through Career/Skills Building Workshops, where fathers lead sessions on topics such as creating profiles for internships, and they organise communal Movie Nights with a massive screen for non-violent entertainment.

Children are also actively encouraged to build confidence by speaking and participating in various community events.

Recalling the "The Gift of a Day" project, Gerhardus van Kratenburg shares a poignant anecdote: "The kids were so proud of their accomplishments of the day, and weeks and even months later, the kids are still asking, ‘When are we doing that concert again, uncle?’"

Van Kratenburg, who joined the movement after last year’s Sunrise event, has witnessed the impact firsthand. "The respect, happiness, and hope I see in them tells me that we, as Community Fathers, can show the children of Wentworth and the surrounding areas that there is hope, and there are opportunities for them."

He stressed that fathers don't have to be perfect.

"We may not be their biological fathers, but we are there to listen to them, support them, and help them when and where we can... We can make a difference in the lives of these children and the community at large."

The challenges and the call

Currently engaging with over 500 children, the Community Fathers face immense hurdles. Smith is vocal about the need to end corporal punishment, which he believes fuels the very violence they are fighting.

“This is the same damn reason why our children are so violent. It's because all that has ever been inflicted on them is violence.”

Smith said the systemic issues are immense, with high unemployment, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and the lingering legacy of apartheid, which forced men into long, seasonal absences from their families.

Adding to this is the challenge of apathy, he notes.

"Many people choose to wait for the government or some saviour to come and save us," Smith says of communities like Wentworth, "whereas we have the skill to be able to affect and impact any kind of change, if we only stand united."

Despite the complexity, a growing tide of optimism is taking hold. "We don't need permission to change our community around... We just need people that have committed hearts, people that are willing to put it all on the line, because this is our community," Smith states.

The movement is expanding rapidly, with branches in Merebank and Bluff, and plans to engage Chatsworth, Montclair, and and Newlands East, among others.

Smith issued a powerful call to action for all men: "We cannot profess to be men if we are not able to stand in the gap. We cannot let our past and our guilt stop us from being present in the lives of our children. We have got work to do. And that’s the vision, every father, every child, no one gets left behind."

For men like Darian Smith, who holds qualifications in psychology and sociology, the title of "father" supersedes all others. "I’m, more importantly, a father, more than any other qualification that anybody could give me," he says.

He highlights that his academic pursuits are simply a tool to amplify their collective voice where it matters: in the halls of power, advocating on behalf of every child, regardless of race or creed.

Have thoughts on this topic or other subjects you’d like us to explore? Want to share your experiences? Reach out to me at karen.singh@inl.co.za – I’d love to hear from you!