Running on empty... how to get through year-end stress

For many South Africans, the festive season is supposed to be a time of rest, celebration, and connection — yet year after year, it often becomes the most emotionally overwhelming period on the calendar. While the country winds down, our brains often do the opposite.

According to neurofeedback specialist Kerry Rudman, the pressure that builds around November and December is not a sign of personal weakness — it’s biology. “The brain is wired for survival, not happiness,” she explains. “When there are too many expectations, too much uncertainty, or too many emotional triggers, the brain shifts into protection mode. That’s when we see stress, panic, irritability, or even depression showing up.”

As the year closes, the brain instinctively begins to scan for threats — unpaid bills, family tension, work deadlines, school results, social expectations, the pressure to ‘make December magical’. Even positive events, like hosting family or planning holidays, place extra load on a system that is already tired.

Neuroscience shows that when the brain feels overwhelmed, the amygdala — the part responsible for fear and emotional responses — becomes hyperactive. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex, which handles rational thinking, planning and emotional regulation, becomes less effective.

“This is why people who are normally calm suddenly feel snappy, teary, or exhausted,” says Rudman. “Stress is not a personality trait. It’s a pattern — and patterns can shift once we understand what’s driving them.”

By December, many South Africans have been running on empty for months. Chronic stress increases cortisol, which depletes the brain’s energy and disrupts sleep. Add financial pressure, grief, loneliness, or complicated family dynamics — and the brain can slide into depressive patterns without you realising.

“The festive season magnifies whatever emotional state you’re already in,” Rudman adds. “If you’re anxious, December can feel terrifying. If you're burnt out, it can feel impossible. If you're lonely, it can feel devastating. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with you — it means your brain is signalling that it needs support.”

Rudman recommends small, science-backed strategies that calm the nervous system and help the brain reset:

• Interrupt the stress cycle: Slow, deep exhalations activate the vagus nerve and lower cortisol. Just four slow breaths can shift the brain out of fight-or-flight.
• 2. Identify your emotional “triggers”: If certain environments, people or conversations consistently drain you, acknowledging it gives your brain permission to plan and protect your energy.
• 3. Create structure — even in December: The brain feels safer with routine. Keep consistent wake times, movement, sunlight exposure and meals where possible.
• 4. Limit catastrophic thinking; When the amygdala is activated, the brain exaggerates threats. Ground yourself in facts: “Is this actually urgent? Is this permanent? Am I safe right now?”
• 5. Don’t isolate: The brain is social by design. Reach out to someone — a friend, a neighbour, a support line — even if it’s a quick check-in.

“The most important thing South Africans need to know this festive season is this: you’re not weak, dramatic, or failing,” Rudman says. “Your brain is trying to keep you safe. Once you understand what’s happening biologically, you can make choices that support you instead of shame you.”