Don't Look Away | When silence becomes complicity: Why bullying demands our attention

Bullying, whether it unfolds in school corridors or behind the glow of a smartphone screen continues to leave deep and lasting scars on people across South Africa.

From taunts that follow children into their homes through social media, to intimidation and violence that disrupt the safety of classrooms, countless young people are suffering in silence.

Parents, teachers, and communities are increasingly sounding the alarm, warning that what some dismiss as 'just kids being kids' has become a crisis with devastating emotional and psychological consequences.

But bullying does not end when childhood does. In workplaces across the country, adults endure harassment, humiliation and power abuse that often goes unspoken and unchecked.

Targets are left anxious, isolated and sometimes forced to leave their jobs, while productivity and mental health take a heavy toll. Whether in a classroom or a boardroom, the message from those affected is the same: bullying is not harmless and its impact can last a lifetime.

This year the 16 Days of Activism campaign theme is Unite to End Digital Violence Against All Women and Children, with a focus of making digital spaces safer. 

With this is mind IOL will implore its readers to Not Look Away and play their part in making society safer. 

IOL will carry an array of stories over the next few days focussing on digital harassment, gendered bullying, speaking to experts, effects of cyberbullying and finally taking a pledge to stand against any form of bullying. 

This initiative seeks to make every school, workplace and online platform, a safer place for all

The campaign aims to shine a powerful light on the behaviours that cause harm, the voices that are too often ignored, and the urgent need for accountability and protection across both physical and digital spaces.

Over the course of the campaign, survivors, educators, experts and employers will share their experiences and solutions, urging South Africans to confront a reality we can no longer afford to overlook.

By opening up honest conversations and demanding change, this initiative seeks to make every school, workplace and online platform, a safer place for all.

Cici Sebego, a master's student in Sociology at the University of Johannesburg, said the roots of bullying are often closer to home than people realise.

"From a sociological point of view, I think our surroundings play a huge role in shaping behaviour." She warned that what adults model is frequently mirrored by children. "It often starts with what we see at home, in our communities, or among our peers."

When those who witness harm look away, the bully is protected

Sebego explained that in many South African households, harmful behaviour can be normalised, even framed as care.

"In many South African families, for example, aggressive behaviour is sometimes seen as a form of discipline, strength, or even love."

Those patterns, she added, don't vanish in adulthood, they simply move into new environments, including the workplace, where power dynamics and silence keep abuse alive.

Sebego said silence is what allows the cycle to persist. "Silence is one of the biggest reasons bullying continues." When those who witness harm look away, the bully is protected, not the victim and the behaviour is reinforced rather than challenged.

It is important to discuss with children what bullying really is

Mental health advocates say early education is crucial in preventing harm. Jozef Raczka, from the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag), said it is essential that young people understand bullying in all its forms.

"It is important to discuss with children what bullying really is so that they can identify it if it occurs, either in class or in everyday life, and understand why it is wrong."

He emphasised that harm is not always physical or visible.

"Bullying is any deliberate behaviour that is done to hurt or upset someone over a period of time. As such, it can happen anywhere there are people, such as schools and workplaces."

Raczka noted that while physical abuse may be easier to detect, digital harassment continues to grow out of sight.

"In a world where social media and the use of smartphones are increasing, protective measures against cyberbullying are especially important for the protection and well-being of children and adolescents."

With cases often occurring anonymously, he said victims are at risk of suffering in silence, sometimes until it is too late.

Rorke Wilson, an associate from the Digital Law Company that stopping cyberbullying should also be prioritised as ignoring it has dire consequences.

"This is an important issue as it mostly affects kids whose brains are not even fully developed yet. Parents of both the victims and perpetrators should be part of the process in seeking justice," he told IOL.

Wilson added that he is currently handling a matter where a girl's nude photographs were being circulated around her school and she is being blamed. 

"We are dropping kids into the deep end without understanding the ramifications that the cyber world can have on them," he said. 

South Africa joined a global movement to confront the problem more urgently. From November 11-15, the country observes Anti-Bullying Week, which aims to raise awareness of the risks of school bullying, cyberbullying and harassment faced by children and young people.

Similar initiatives are taking place around the world throughout November, promoting solutions that prevent this growing threat to the wellbeing and safety of youth today.

United Nations Children's Fund (Unicef) has also warned of the serious long-term damage bullying can cause.

"Bullying can have harmful and long-lasting consequences for children. Besides the physical effects of bullying, children may experience emotional and mental health problems, including depression and anxiety, that can lead to substance abuse and decreased performance in school,'' said the organisation. 

Unicef said cyberbullying is especially insidious, with victims feeling trapped even in spaces that should be safe.

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