It’s exceptionally hard for boys to build a positive masculine identity in the absence of caring, committed and engaged men in their lives.
Image: File picture
By Jaco van Schalkwyk
IT'S A SAD fact of South African life that too many fathers are missing in action.
According to the recently released State of South Africa’s Fathers 2024 (SOSAF 2024) report, in 2023, only 35.6% of our children lived with their biological fathers. While this is poor state for all children, it is particularly tough on boys who are growing up without male role models.
It’s exceptionally hard for boys to build a positive masculine identity in the absence of caring, committed and engaged men in their lives.
This state of ‘fatherlessness’ leaves boys vulnerable to turning to macho gangsters in their communities and abusive online bros as their guiding lights of what it means to be a man. In a country like South Africa with its high rates of gender-based violence, we can hardly afford this dire consequence of absent fathers.
Dr Wessel van den Berg, Senior Advocacy Officer at Equimundo and contributor to SOSAF 2024 said: “The most vital finding of SOSAF 2024 is the significant role of social fathers in the lives of children.”
He makes the point that traditional notion of fatherhood being solely tied to a biological connection is being upended: “Understanding and acknowledging the role of social fathers can help in creating more inclusive policies and interventions that support all forms of fatherhood, ultimately benefiting the well-being of children and families.”
Women have long been expected to be the caregivers of children, but as economies evolved and the cost of living increased, they had no choice but to step into the role of providers as well. The workforce has increasingly opened up to women, and in many cases, necessity has driven them to adapt quickly - whether as single mothers, co-breadwinners, or the sole earners in a household.
Despite shouldering this dual responsibility, many women continue to prioritise caregiving, as it remains a fundamental expectation of their role in society. Men, on the other hand, have traditionally been defined by their ability to provide financially.
However, as job markets have become more precarious and unemployment rates have risen, men have struggled to redefine their identity when they are unable to fulfil the traditional provider role. Instead of adapting to include caregiving as a source of purpose and contribution, many withdraw from family life altogether.
This is partly due to a cultural lag - while economic realities have changed, the social conditioning of men has not kept pace. The idea that caregiving is "women’s work" persists, and without strong cultural reinforcement that fatherhood is more than financial provision, men remain disengaged.
Many men have lacked role models who demonstrate that the caregiving of children is a fulfilling and valuable role for them. If they grew up in homes where fathers were absent or emotionally distant, they may not see active parenting as a natural or necessary part of manhood, despite how much the world has changed.
Without social support structures encouraging them to embrace caregiving, many men fail to recognise the personal and emotional rewards that come from being involved in their children’s lives.
For the past 12 years, The Character Company has been a pioneer of social fatherhood in South Africa. Using a values-based curriculum and a proven mentorship model we have been connecting positive male role models with boys growing up without fathers.
Our volunteers serve as social fathers, dedicating time and effort to mentor young boys, instilling values, and guiding them through critical stages of development. The impact of this mentorship is profound. Studies indicate that children with engaged father figures, whether biological or social, exhibit better academic performance, enhanced social skills, and a reduced likelihood of engaging in risky behaviours.
These boys are better equipped to develop healthier relationships and possess a stronger sense of self-worth. TCC's approach emphasises that fatherhood transcends biological connections. By fostering a community of committed men willing to step into mentorship roles, we aim to redefine fatherhood in the South African context. It is important to recognise that the SOSAF 2024 report calls for a societal shift in recognising and supporting diverse forms of fatherhood. It advocates for policies that encourage male caregiving and the active participation of men in children's lives, regardless of biological ties.
TCC echoes this sentiment, urging communities, policymakers, and stakeholders to support initiatives that promote positive male mentorship and the endorsement of social fatherhood that helps to give South African boys a positive start in life.
* Jaco van an Schalkwyk is the founder of The Character Company, an NPO that aims to raise boys to be good men with strong values through a curriculum-based mentorship programme.
Jaco van Schalkwyk is the founder of The Character Company.
Image: Supplied.