In a quite disconcerting development, AI is transforming online dating by crafting conversation starters and maintaining chats, raising concerns about authenticity and the importance of meeting in person. Picture: Michael Sherman/IOL
Image: Michael Sherman/IOL
We’ve all been there. Well, actually, not everyone — but I’ve certainly been there.
I was on Tinder for far too many years before I met my wife, and during that time I came across so many dating profiles with the same recycled jokes in the bio section that I could immediately tell when somebody had copy-pasted them.
That was more than a decade ago, though. While I’ve now been happily married for almost five years, I was still shocked to learn just how many people are using AI to help them find a match.
Not only are people turning to AI for general dating advice, but users on apps like Tinder are becoming increasingly reliant on it to craft opening lines, suggest conversation topics and even keep chats flowing.
Most of the available data suggests AI is still largely being used for the ice-breaking stage of conversations, but it’s unsettling to think about how intertwined our interactions are becoming with this technology.
For example, one Facebook user, Graham Hunt, revealed that he had been talking to a woman on a dating app for about a month before learning she had been using AI to write her messages.
“Well, this week she revealed to me that she’s been using AI to write her messages,” Hunt wrote.
“I feel like this past month has been nothing but a lie. First I had to worry about whether images are real online. Now I have to worry about whether I’m actually talking to a person. And if I’m talking to a real person, I have to wonder if they’re even reading my messages and responding in earnest.”
You only need to watch a few episodes of Black Mirror to become wary of the path we’re heading down, but for many young people this is already a reality.
In fact, when I did a Google search to learn more about AI’s role in online dating and not advice, the first call to action Gemini gave me was: “Would you like to explore how to use these tools? If you tell me which dating apps you are using or what kind of vibe you want your opening messages to have (funny, casual, direct, etc.), I can help you brainstorm the best approaches.”
Ultimately, there may be no reliable way to know whether you’re truly talking to another person online or simply receiving AI-assisted responses. The only real solution, it seems, is to meet face-to-face sooner rather than later — and try not to spend too much time getting to know someone through a screen.