Wildlife woes: the hilarious and harrowing tales of hunters and selfie lovers

Big game hunters and selfie hunters may appear to be on the opposite end of the spectrum when it comes to stepping out into the wilds for that perfect shot, but are they really?

For the former, the perfect shot is all about stealthily tracking and taking down a wild animal with a precise squeeze on the trigger. It's what they live for.

For the latter, it means disobeying park regulations and the screams of frantic folk around you, and walking straight up to the enormous beast, turning your back on it, and pouting for the perfect selfie. It's what they live for.

But they're worlds apart, I hear you say, one comes with murder on his or her mind, while the other comes cloaked in peace and love, simply wanting to shoot some awesome pictures to share with their friends and followers on social media.

However, the similarity between these two shooters only really comes into sharp focus when both the game hunter and the selfie hunter become the hunted and end up dead, covered in blood and dust.

Stalking death

That became the fate of Asher Watkins, a millionaire ranch broker from Texas in the US, who was impaled and gored to death by a Cape buffalo during a hunting safari in Limpopo last Sunday.

The buffalo charged the skilled marksman at close range after it broke its cover, leaving no time to open fire. Watkins died a short while later, becoming yet another statistic of the most ferocious animal in Africa, culling an average of 200 humans in Southern Africa each year.

And in case you're wondering what happened to the buffalo - known as Black Death - it was shot dead seconds later by another person in the hunting party.

"Newsweek" quoted Coenraad Vermaak Safaris, the company that organised the trip, as saying it was with "deep sadness" that it learned of Watkins' demise after the "sudden and unprovoked attack" by the buffalo.

The incident has sparked a global discussion on the ethics of hunting and the questionable yet pricey add-on - having the animal's head stuffed and mounted as a trophy to hang on a wall back home.

Watkins joins a long list of hunters who've met their untimely deaths when the tables have been turned on them across the African plains. Elephants, lions, rhinos and other large game have all had a turn in this regard.

Sometimes it's not even the tourists' fault when wild animals encroach on their "safe space" in the game vehicle, as happened recently to a group of enthralled visitors.

Herd mentality

But what about the wildlife-stalking slow-thinkers, the death-wish squad or Darwin Award winners who've left this earthly existence, simply by abandoning common sense so they can get some cool pics?

Look at this idiot in Yellowstone National Park being tossed about on the horns of a bison after he and others decided to shrug off signposts advising people not to approach the beasts. Well, sure enough, he got properly gored and needed to be hospitalised.

And before anyone says I am picking on Americans, take a look at this video featuring a South African, who, let's be honest, should have known better.

I have watched it more than once, and I must confess that it often makes me laugh, even though I have no idea whether the poor man was badly injured as a result of the charge by the warthog.

"Hello, boy! I wonder if we can pat him? Aargh! Help me, Help!"

Then there is the guy who shared on Instagram how he climbed a tree to escape a bear, but it yanked him down, so he tried to play dead, as suggested by experts.

"It’s almost impossible to pretend to be dead ... when something is chewing your face.

"I really did. Curled up, tried to stay still like the textbooks say, hoping the bear would ignore me. But tell me, how can you play dead while something sinks its teeth into your face?"

The man managed to survive by poking his fingers in the bear's nostrils and eyes, and pulling hard on its ears, but now has scars for life, both physical and emotional.

How to survive an animal attack

The internet is full of fun facts on what to do and what not to do when you get attacked by wild animals, but the circumstances and species of animal involved in each case create variables that make it impossible and dangerous to provide responsible tips here.

It's best to do some research, listen to your game guide and read and obey the warning signposts that are there for your protection.

But it is safe to say that one of the best ways to avoid being attacked by wild animals is to not stalk them, whether for a selfie or a stuffed trophy.